God's Sufficient Grace

prayer letter

2008-08-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

I have been convicted about a few things the last few months and have been praying about what exactly needs to be done about it...

1 ~ my need for others to regularly pray for me in my life and ministry here

2 ~ my failure to enable that to happen by communicating prayer needs to those who I know would love to pray!

I have been very poor at communicating to you about how things are going here (please forgive me!) and I'm starting to reap the negative consequences of that! I'm finding I desperately need others to carry my needs and the needs of those in Thailand before the Father - and I need the accountability of writing to you about them.

I've been thinking about whether to try to do this on my blog or by letter or email. I have been a little more hesitant recently about sharing things on my blog as I am discovering that I have no idea who is actually reading it anymore. Some people I don't even know, I'm sure... So, I would like to do something a little more formal and write a prayer/update email every month or few weeks.

My question for you is - would you be willing to commit to praying for me, Clint (for this year!), my students and the growing church in Thailand? Praying for someone regularly is a commitment and one that I struggle to keep as I support other missionaries, so please don't enter it lightly! But it makes a world of difference! God truly does hear and answer prayers and I am continually amazed at how quickly He responds to the prayers of others in my life when I lay my heart and struggles before them. It's an exciting journey - watching God work - so for you sake and mine, I would ask that you consider this commitment.

I have the first letter written in my head. : ) If you would like to pray for me this year, please either send me an email or post a comment, including your email address (maybe of them I have already, but just in case!). Thank you for considering and for already being such a faithful friend and prayer for me in the past!

Proud

2008-08-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Clint made the JV Soccer team at ICS!! I'm so proud - he's worked really hard for this all summer and we've been praying for a long time that he'd make it. We're both really happy! : )

Old!

2008-05-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Jenny, one of my 2nd Grade piano students, asked me this afternoon, "When you were a young girl, what was your favorite computer game, like on the internet - your favorite website?"

Me: "My favorite website...? Um...the internet wasn't around when I your age!"

Ack! Makes me feel so old! : P

Wondrous Deeds

2008-05-18T03:18:00.000-07:00

“You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.” Psalm 40:5

God has truly done wondrous things in the past few weeks in and around my life in response to your prayers. I hardly know where to start sharing – it seems like the answers to prayers are “more than can be told” and I’m afraid I’m going to have to do a lot of summarizing! In the summary, however, I don’t want to minimize the wonder of what God has done or my amazement at it, so please forgive me for barely scratching the surface!

I guess the best way to “tell of them” would be in the categories for which I asked for prayer:

~ The Middle School concert was 2 weeks ago – the first of my concert madness and right in the middle of the stressful preparations. My students played far better than I thought they would, based on the first dress rehearsal (after which I cried!). God answered my prayers for a really good second/last dress rehearsal in which they were able to see how much they’ve learned and how far they had come over the course of the semester. They played almost perfectly (for them) at that practice and we were all able to enjoy the beautiful music made within our little classroom. I was grateful for this because it helped them to go into the concert with a lot of confidence. On the day of the concert, I was completely wiped out and starting to get sick (I ended up feeling that way for several days), mostly due to stress. At a few points in the day, I wondered how I would even make it through the performance! God provided strength of body and heart that night in an amazing way.

~ High School concert – went well and beautiful music was made. My part in it was very small, but I mention it because that day I sensed people praying as I played piano and my fingers seemed to move more fluidly than normal. Also, I was not nervous and only made a few mistakes, so I praise God for answering on that day as well.

~ “His Story” musical: the 3rd and 4th Graders performed their musical last Thursday afternoon. It’s been a rather all-consuming project preparing for this musical the last few weeks as it took a tremendous amount of work to get it together. At many times, I almost wanted to shoot myself for making the entire thing incredibly complicated and confusing and this past week, I truly wondered if it would all come together – not because my students aren’t incredibly smart and talented or that many fellow teachers were not willing to help, but just because we were running out of time. Also, we had so many sound system and light problems arise (or rather continue to not be fixed) in the days prior to the performance, that the morning of the show, I finally told my principal that we just needed to pray for a miracle: that God would somehow enable everyone in the audience to see and hear the students, despite what the sound system was or was not capable of at that point. God worked that miracle and many others. Every person that I talked to afterwards said that they could understand every word that was spoken and could hear the kids singing! By the time of the performance, the students all knew exactly where to go and stand and move to (again, a miracle considering my confusing communication and poor leadership!) and they performed splendidly! (I was super proud! : ) And the best thing of all is that the gospel message was proclaimed to a very full auditorium and is now implanted in all 100 of those 3rd-4th Graders who sang up on stage. So many people that came said that this was one of the most clear presentations of the gospel in a children’s musical they had ever seen. I continue to pray (and ask you to also) that God would work powerfully through that in the lives of the students and their parents. Amazing musical performances are a great answer to prayer, but my heart longs for something much bigger to come from this – something eternal!

~ Last Friday night we had a good-bye party for some of my dear friends and MTW team members, Andrew and Becky Bronson. The night was a very emotional one for me, as I will miss them both tremendously (they came to Thailand at the same time I did and are now returning to the States to go to seminary); however, two really beautiful, amazing things came out of that gathering. The first is that a woman who has been attending various events and even worship services at the New Community office/church (and mother of one of the teenage girls I’ve worked with at Maahathai) received Christ during the party! I saw her and Kieow (one of the Thai MTW staff members and my friend) enter the room after having been gone for a while and next thing I knew, several of the team members and Thai Christians were huddled around her praying! Kieow was ecstatic, as were the rest of us! Dave told me this morning that she is the first adult from Maahathai that they know of that has professed faith (so far!). (Many of the children have and are now super zealous little evangelists and faithful church attenders!)

~ The second thing that happened was A and Fam came with me to the party. This was a miracle in and of itself because for the last 3 weeks since Fam started her new job, she has had to work very late nights and so she thought there was no way she’d be able to make it. But God worked it out and for the first time, both she and A were able to leave work early. Before Friday, they had not ever come to anything at the office nor met all of my Thai Christian friends (although they knew several of the farong team members) and they had never seen Christians pray. As I expected, they were pretty blown away by what they experienced at that party with so many believers present. They kept talking about how friendly everyone was and how there was no difference between Thai and farong (in the sense that everyone loved and talked to everyone). And they asked both Melanie and I if they could come back because they wanted to be around it more! They are just beginning to experience the love of Christ, but I see God drawing them, especially Fam, to Himself. She continues to really want to spend time with me and I was incredibly honored when she told someone else on Friday that I was her best friend in Bangkok! Pray that I will faithfully show her the love of Christ and that God would give me the right words to speak of Him to her and A. And please continue to pray for God’s work in their hearts!!

May

2008-05-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my Dad last night, telling him about all of my upcoming concerts and the stressful, busy time I'm in the midst of, and he asked me to write down the dates of each of them so that he could be in prayer for me this month. (I counted them up last week and realized that I have one performance of some sort a week for the last 6 weeks of school!!) I thought I'd also put those dates on my blog, so that others could pray too. I feel a little self-centered in doing this, though, as I know that May is an incredibly busy time for everyone, so I don't at all mean to imply that I'm under any more stress than all of you. My list of prayer requests for friends and family members seems to increase daily as I listen to how much other people that I love have going on and the transitions many are facing at the end of this school year.

But for those who would like to pray, here's my concert schedule:

~ Friday, May 2nd - Middle School concert. I'll be directing my 6th and 7th Grade String classes (the choirs and bands at school will also perform, but I don't work with those groups). I was very discouraged after our dress rehearsal yesterday because they sounded so bad and I felt like such a failure of a teacher. Today was more encouraging though, so I am hopeful...
~ Friday, May 9th - High School concert. I'm accompanying one of the HS choirs! I'm excited, but am not the best pianist in the world by a long-shot, so I'm hoping I don't mess up the students!!
~ Thursday, May 15th - Elementary (3rd/4th Grade) "His Story" Musical. This is the big one for me as I'm organizing/directing the entire musical. Many people are helping me, but there are so many things that ultimately only I can do or decisions that I still have to make. And there are so many details involved! The ironic thing is that my least concern is whether or not the students will be ready: they're SUPER excited and know their music and lines well. I'm very afraid at this point that May 15th will come and I won't have all the costumes, set, props, sound system, lights, program, accompaniment/band or other things in place and we'll have to call the whole thing off!
~ Saturday, May 24th - High School Graduation. My 7th Graders are playing prelude/background music before the ceremony. This is the one class I won't be teaching next year (something that is very sad for me as I've grown to be pretty close with these students) so I'm praying for a really good last performance with them!
~ Tuesday, May 27th - 5th Grade Beginning Strings/Band concert.
~ Thursday, June 5th (last day of school!) - Kindergarten Graduation. K4 and K5 will sing.

So, busy days. Several friends/co-workers have commented that they've hardly seen me the last few weeks, except when I'm running past them on the way to something (usually a rehearsal!). It's been a bit of a roller-coaster emotionally too as I frequently get discouraged with my inability to teach or organize or plan well. Each of these performances seems to bring out specific areas of great weakness in me as a teacher, musician or person. I'm learning to rejoice in those weaknesses as I see them as an opportunity for God to be glorified as He shows Himself strong. He IS working and I find myself standing in awe of Him daily as He accomplishes things that either are beyond my control or beyond my abilities. It's been amazing to carry every concern (however small) to Him in prayer in the mornings and then be able to praise Him by the end of the day after I watched Him truly take care of that issue. He's also showing me (again) the strengths of others around me and helping me (in a healthy way, I think) depend on other people that are gifted in areas that I simply am not. It's beautiful to see a picture of the body of Christ in that.

So thank you for praying! Soon the craziness will be over and I know I'll have one more testimony to write on my heart of God's faithfulness in yet another season of my life.

(Pictures of India will come soon - I promise!)

Nagaland

2008-04-20T03:30:00.000-07:00

One of the whole reasons we decided to go to India in the first place was because Kim had a friend who lived in the Northeastern state of Nagaland who really wanted her to come and visit. Kim got to know Asha in Bangkok last year as they were both serving together in an organization that ministers to prostitutes. Asha has since returned to her homeland to start a similar ministry to women in crisis.

Nagaland is actually a recent addition to the country of India: it came under the government of India in the late 1940s, and since that time the Naga people have been fighting for their independence. Because of that, we had to get a special, extremely specific visa to get into that part of the country and spend some time in an official's office upon our arrival at the train station. The Naga people and culture is really not very much like the rest of India. Traditionally, they are a hill tribe people and they looked more Burmese than they do Indian. It was interesting to see the blend of Indian and Asian cultures while visiting that part of the country.

Getting there was rather difficult. They whole planning process was difficult because not much information was available online or in our travel books and contact with Asha beforehand was even sporadic. Even while in Delhi, we didn't know exactly how to get to where we wanted to end up or how long it would take us. Made for some interesting adventures! : ) We ended up spending almost 2 days getting there, 2 days getting back, taking planes, trains and buses, and only about 3 1/2 days actually with Asha, - but being there made it all worthwhile.

I don't think I've ever experience such gracious hospitality and care than from Asha and the Christians in Nagaland. We stayed in Dimapur, the largest city in Nagaland, and Asha arranged for us to stay in a guesthouse/retreat-center used for missionaries. She had a huge room prepared for us with a Western bathroom, a kitchen nearby with several women who prepared breakfast for us each morning (WAY more than we could eat!) and did our laundry. The place had a beautiful garden and grassy area and was just delightful. Asha's uncle owned a guesthouse of his own, but Asha decided that it wasn't comfortable or quiet enough for us and that she wanted to have us stay in the best place in the city, so her Uncle decided to pay for us to stay there! They were so kind!

Amazingly enough, Nagaland is about 90% professing-Christian. The story of the how the gospel entered that region of the world is just incredible! Over 125 years ago some missionaries came to a nearby tribe to share the gospel with them. That tribe wasn't very interested in the gospel, so the missionaries instead went to the Nagas, who at the time were a head-hunting people. One by one, whole tribes turned to Christ and gave up their former way of life. Now there are tons of churches, schools and seminaries in that state, most of them Baptist. In fact, I read on wikipedia that Nagaland is "the most populated Baptist state in the world" with 75% of the population being Baptist - even more than Mississippi's 52% Baptist population! And in some ways it felt like being in the "Bible-belt" in the SE US! We went to Asha's church that Sunday and sat in pews in a beautiful, large sanctuary with high ceilings that reminded me of Emmanuel Baptist Church where I went as a young child. They played all of the familiar Baptist hymns I knew translated into Nagamese on an out-of-tune piano. And the church was filled with hill-tribe, Asian people! It was pretty wild.

They were all so kind, too! We got invited over to several people's houses for dinner and almost everyone we met thanked us for coming to visit them (we were the only foreigners there - not the sort of place that foreigners come through very often!). It was so very humbling. The first night we ate at the house of one of Asha's seminary professors. His great-grandfather was the first person to accept Christ in their tribe and his grandfather was the first one to go to school and become an evangelist. He told us that every 25 years they all have a huge celebration and retell the story of how the missionaries came to their people and shared the gospel with them!

While there we also got to visit Asha's new ministry center and meet the women she serves. We attended their prayer service: most are Christians who have been forced to a way of life that they don't want to be in. It was really heart-breaking to be there. They were all incredibly gracious though as well and were so glad to have us there, as they had prayed for a long time for us and our safe journey to their country. We also visited the Oriental Theological Seminary where Asha received her M.Div. It was about 30 minutes or more outside the city and was almost like a camp or retreat-center in the way it was set up. All the students (there are about 60 there, 10 professors) spoke excellent English, as they learn/study the Bible in English, and we were able to fellowship with them over dinner (where they also thanked us for eating with them!). It was pretty incredible to hear their stories and to find out more about the seminary.

God richly blessed us in Nagaland and opened my eyes to His power and work in a new way. It was very exciting to see the power of the gospel firsthand!

Kolkata

2008-04-20T03:16:00.000-07:00

Again, from my journal...

I don't think I've ever been to a place like this before. It's not like Bangkok or even Delhi are beautiful, clean cities devoid of slums or poor neighborhoods, but they don't even compare to what I've seen tonight.

Our plane arrived at 11:15 p.m. and we easily found a taxi to take us to our guesthouse about 20 minutes or so from the airport. The first thing I noticed were all of the apartment buildings, completely run-down, shabby on the outside with rags hanging in the windows. "Must be one of the poorer parts of town," I thought. Then it was the rows and rows of shacks lining the sidewalks- little makeshift "homes" that hardly seemed large enough for someone to lay down in. Hundreds in every direction. True slums. But the further we went into the city, the more people I saw - actually homeless - sprawled everywhere on the sidewalks. I've never seen so many people on the streets. Laying on mats and covered in rags, they looked comparable to the filthy, detestable soi (street) dogs I've grown to disdain in Bangkok. And yet, these are ones made in the image of God. I'm not sure I've ever seen a place or situation so sad.

Our guesthouse is quite a sight. It has bars on the entrance and windows, fortunately, but the whole interior looks about as run-down as the exterior of the buildings we passed. As we walked to our room, we walked by two men stretched out on the floor of the upstairs hallway. In our room they had 3 very hard beds without blankets (but with tiny bugs crawling on them, as we discovered later), 2 loud fans and a bathroom that looked almost like the public bathrooms I've used all week (ok, as shabby but maybe a little cleaner). Oh, and they left us an already opened bottle of water with maybe an inch of water left in it. With no clean water, I'm choosing to not brush my teeth tonight. : ) Yet it all seems several steps up from the sights on the streets, so I feel strangely grateful. And not just for the richness of life I normally walk in but for the opportunity to partake tonight, in a small way, of the poverty that so many across the world live in.

Delhi, India

2008-04-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

For Spring break this year, two teacher-friends of mine, Kristi and Kim, and I struck off to India for 10 days. It's been on my list of places to go while in this part of the world and I've been wanting to go there for a while. We had quite the adventure! There's so much that could be said about it that it's hard to know where to start, but for the sake of clarity, I thought I'd divide our trip up into 3 parts - Delhi, Nagaland, and "transit" to and from Nagaland (including Kolkata - Nagaland is in the very NE part of the country and somewhat difficult to get to so it took us a while!). Here's some excerpts from my journal about Delhi:

We arrived in Delhi late Friday night and spent 4 full days there. I must say that India is not like anywhere I've ever been before and totally unlike Thailand or the other SE Asian countries I've visited this past year. In a word, I'd say India is nuts. Everything is different: the people, the religion(s), the clothes, the architecture, the vehicles and traffic, the food - everything. Many things are wonderful and I'm excited to experience it all - been wanting to for a while - but because it is so different, I've found myself rather overwhelmed and not able to process it all very well. Almost more than in Thailand, I've undergone a lot of culture shock the last few days.

So, because it's so overwhelming, I'll just form a random list of highlights, "lowlights" and observations from our days in Delhi:

~ the people: they're beautiful, albeit seem rough, aggressive and rude after living in Thailand. I LOVE seeing the women, though, dressed in their colorful, flowing sarees with long beautiful hair and lots of jewelry on. They are just very beautiful.

~ the food: definitely a treat. I haven't tried a whole lot I don't like - it's all wonderfully spicy and very different from anything I've tasted. We did have some street food one night with Sarah and Susie, one snack of which was a little odd: a shell/bowl-like crispy thing with a dollop of spicy potato mixture inside and then the remainder of the shell filled with cold water. You put the whole shell in your mouth at once and crunched. Weird texture, but interesting.

~ traffic/roads: they're nuts. I don't think I'll ever be able to call Bangkok's traffic crazy again! Constant honking of horns, rough pavement, way too many cars, "autos" (cute little cars, kind of like a Thai tuk-tuk - almost reminded me of something from Richard Scarry's children books!), motorcycles, rickshaws, bicycles all crowded in whatever spaces were available on the streets, all with way-too-aggressive drivers. Oh, and throw in several cows, goats, a few camels and an occasional elephant wandering around. Makes for an interesting ride. (If you were able to move. A few times it was all too congested that we just had to sit there!)

~ one immense blessing was our very gracious hostesses in Delhi: Sarah and Susie. Sarah is a teacher and friend of Kristi and her roommate was working for a Christian business in Delhi. Their apartment was delightful - a haven of rest in the midst of the craziness! - and they were so generous and hospitable in their care for us. But these girls themselves were the greatest delight - immediate friends. We all really enjoyed hearing their perspectives on Indian culture, asking questions and listening to their stories, as well as "debriefing" after our full days. Great times of fellowship. They showed us around the city some and helped with our trip-planning. We definitely couldn't have done this trip without them.

~ Sunday morning worship at Delhi Bible Fellowship. The girls took us to their church for worship and it was a tremendous blessing in every way! I came to the service that morning with the prayers that God would speak the gospel to me through it (sometimes I really need others to remind me of the truths of the gospel - I don't always believe it in the same way when I read it or just tell myself). God abundantly answered that prayer. Christ was in every part of that service - from the Scripture and confession readings and preaching to the music, prayers and Lord's supper. And how awesome it was to see a room full (maybe 75-100?) of people, the majority of which were Indians, worshipping Jesus Christ and to hear several Indian men praying during the service and administering the sacraments. After just a day of observing (and hearing about) a level of brokenness, poverty and sin in this world that I had not known previously, it was beautiful to behold the One who has the power and love to redeem and restore it all (and is even now at work doing that very thing!).

~ the Taj Mahal. Definitely a highlight! As beautiful, majestic and awe-inspiring as any description I've read said it was - perhaps even more so. Also beautiful was the Agra Fort and Red Fort in Delhi and the Jama Masjid mosque we visited. What grand, amazing works of architecture! And I love just being surrounded by walls, towers, minarets and structures that are so much larger than I am - the feeling of being very small while surrounded by such architectural grandeur.

Fam

2008-04-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had a get-together with the women on the MTW team and I invited Fam to join us. During the course of the evening, I asked her how she knew about Adam and Eve and where she had heard the little bit she knew about Jesus. When she told me that she had seen part of a movie about Jesus and read something about Adam and Eve in books, she said that she'd like to read more about it. I told her she ought to read the Bible. At first she wondered if the writing would be too difficult to understand, but I got out one of mine and showed her which parts would be the best to read for what she wanted to learn about (those "beginning" stories and about Jesus' life). While the others were talking, she sat there and started to read some of the places I had pointed out. I told her she could borrow that Bible and she said she was would really like to read it - and that if she didn't understand something, she would just ask me.

It's like a dream come true for me! I have been thinking recently how wonderful it would be to study the Bible with her and it looks like that's going to happen, in an informal way. Please keep praying for my friend - that God will open her eyes to the truth and beauty of the gospel!

Urgency of the gospel

2008-04-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had the privilege of sharing the gospel with my dear neighbors, A and Fam. I am so very far behind on blogging that I have not written anything about my trip to Vietnam (or now to India!) and the amazing way that God brought the three of us together - hopefully that will come later - so I hesitate to even share this now except that I am so very grateful that God answered my prayer today to allow me to share more fully about Jesus Christ with them!

How interesting it is/was to share the story of the Bible and talk about Jesus to people who know so little about Him! I guess I do it every day with my students at school, but because the teacher/student relationship is so different and they are so respectful and childlike, they always just listen respectfully (sometimes very eagerly!) and don't always question it (although sometimes they do!). Also, they are hearing it from many of us at ICS, so they are developing an idea of who Jesus is. My neighbors are very solid Buddhists - actually some of the few Thais I've met that seem to be genuinely and thoughtfully/purposely trying to follow the teachings of Buddha and who are earnestly trying to live wise and good lives. I like them very much and surprisingly, I've found that we have many common convictions as to how to live life and/or similar standards - only, of course, our whole reason behind it is different. But they are very good people - far more than I am - generous and loving. And I love spending time with them!

Tonight after dinner I mentioned that our friends Andrew and Becky (MTW missionaries that they also know) were going to return to America for 3 years to go to school to study the Bible (at Covenant Seminary). A was shocked - "the Bible?!" He wondered why it would take 3 whole years to study the Bible. That led to him sharing with me the Buddhist view of life and afterlife and some of what he learned when he was a monk for several months. Then he asked about the Bible. So I told them what the Bible said - the whole story that I've grown to love this past year even so much more than I did before. : )

Again, so interesting the things they had no idea about - and what surprised and shocked them. When I spoke of Jesus' coming back to life again, A's mouth dropped open and he said, "What?! After he was dead he came back?!" He had never heard of such a thing. At some points, he looked at me like he couldn't believe I believed all of what I was saying and I realized how radical it must sound to someone who's never heard it before. And yet, they (especially Fam) listened very thoughtfully, and knowing them, they'll probably continue to think about it. At least, I pray that they will! Please pray with me for them and their salvation. I am really growing to love this couple very much and it grieves me to think about them being apart from Christ!

I have felt such a weight of conviction and urgency concerning the gospel the last several days. Part of it, I know, was brought on by the sights I saw in India - the brokenness and poverty and lostness there. It's all just so overwhelming to me. I've never encountered such brokenness before as I have in the last couple of years and even in the last few weeks. And I'm coming to see how it is all the result of man's "fall" - our sin and rebellion against God. And yet, more and more I am convinced that there is no other solution to this brokenness, injustice, poverty and sin than Jesus Christ. He IS the answer! The only One who is able to heal, redeem and restore this broken earth and make it what it was supposed to be. And, praise God, He WILL! I know He will, and I long for that day more and more as time goes on. Every imperfection in this world and in myself causes me to hunger after the perfection He will bring. But even as I pray for His coming, I find myself praying against it - afraid that if He comes too soon and judges the nations, He will find many who have not trusted in Him. And so I wrestle in prayer for His mercy on those peoples surrounding me - so few of whom have even heard about Him.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night after (in the middle of?) a rather strange dream and I sat up in bed with the thought - "I've got to tell every person I come in contact with about Jesus - that He is the answer to their every grief and problem - before it's too late!" I soon went back to sleep and when I woke up this morning and thought about it with a more awake brain, it almost seemed silly to me that I would even think that in my 1/2-asleep delirium. Sadly, that's not how I normally think. And yet, that same sense of urgency has been with me this entire day, making me all the more grateful to be able to unleash that desire tonight over dinner.

Please pray that I will continue to feel this way and will have the boldness to bring this hope to the many who are lost around me! It is a rather "urgent" time spiritually at our school: over spring break one of our students (a 7th grader - from India) died suddenly. I didn't know her, but her death has obviously impacted many of the other students and teachers. My prayer is that as our students grieve her loss and encounter the shortness of their own life, they will find hope in Christ and see their need to turn to Him now and not later. Again, please pray to this end!

"His Story"

2008-03-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

Last week, my 3rd and 4th Graders starting working on their Spring musical. In past years, the Elementary students at ICS didn't have a spring/closing performance of any kind and I found that a little anti-climatic last year, so I requested that we put one on the calendar (which, in a sense, was adding more work to my own plate, but it's making my spring a lot more exciting! I'll probably be ready to shot myself in a few weeks though...) So, on May 15th, we'll perform this musical.

I told my students that the special thing about this musical was that it has never been performed before the way we're doing it - because another teacher and I are the ones that are putting it together! This has been a long process that's been on my heart and mind since last summer - and it's still not completed! But I'm really excited to see what God is going to do through and with it!

It all came about last summer when I was searching for the "perfect" musical for my ICS students. This is such a unique school filled with some MKs who know the Bible very well, but with most of the students being raised in homes that are not only not Christian but are actually practicing other religions. And yet the freedom is there at our school to "preach" the gospel, and I want to take every opportunity to do it! I've been praying for a long time about what musical to do because I believe that the music in it and the story, and experience of practicing and performing it, will stick in the children's minds for many years to come.

Well, I didn't find the "perfect" musical. And I think the reason is because I had something very specific in mind already that I felt they needed to hear: the story of the entire Bible. God has been teaching me a lot this past year about the unity of the Scriptures and has been showing me how they all fit together in the framework of "Creation-Fall-Redemption-Fulfillment". Seeing them from the lenses of that whole framework has made everything (the gospel and all of life) make so much more sense to me. And it's changing the way I teach and present the gospel. I'm seeing that these students don't only need to hear about the cross and resurrection, or even just the about birth and life of Jesus Christ. They need to know Who God is, why He created us, what happened at the Fall and what the cross and resurrection of Christ did to repair that. And especially for my students, who don't have any sort of foundational knowledge of the God of the Bible within their culture - they need to hear this story from beginning to end.

I didn't find anything like that. So I prayed for a while about writing my own musical, but felt tremendously inadequate in the area of script-writing. Long story short, God brought another teacher into my life who has had more experience with writing scripts and he found a script online and has edited it to fit our school. I am now editing it further and have chosen (and in some cases, arranged) songs to fit within that script (actually, I chose the songs first, and he fit the script around them). The result: "His Story"! I'm excited about what it's becoming and the chance it has given me to "create"! Again, I didn't really write it, but maybe this is one of the first baby steps in the direction of being a composer of children's music and musicals one day (something I think I'd enjoy being/doing).

Please pray for this project, though. Pray for me as I continue to edit this week. There are several doctrinal things in the original script that I didn't quite agree with and so I'm trying to figure out how to make it more true to what I believe Scripture says. Please pray for clear guidance from the Spirit and Word of God in that. This whole thing is revealing my need to know the Word so much better and because I will soon (already am!) teaching it to my students, the feeling of urgency to know exactly what the Bible says now is very strong. In fact, more than once in the last month, I haven't been able to fall asleep at night because of the weight of the desire or "need" to know!

Please also pray for my students - for their understanding of the Bible as a whole to grow and for them to come to know the God who offers this redemption and salvation! Pray that the songs and words in this script will get stuck in their heads and will instruct, convict and comfort their hearts, leading them to Christ (even if it's not until many years from now that they put their trust in Him)!

"Best of Catherine"

2008-03-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

My 6th and 7th Grade classes are working on a piece called "Best of Beethoven" - a very simplified arrangement of three of Beethoven's most famous melodies. Today I let 6th Grade listen to a recording of part of Beethoven's 5th symphony so they could hear how it's supposed to sound (we have a LONG way to go!!). Then I ended up sharing a mini-biography of Beethoven - including all of the random facts I learned from my co-operating teacher during my internship. After class one of my students, Earth, came up to me and said that I need to write "notes" (a piece/song) for the class to play and then call it "Best of Catherine"!

Same class (which is getting nuttier and nuttier but is oh so fun!): I gave the students a "surprise" this week - those involved in our school musical (who will be in rehearsals for over 16 hours this week! I'm in the pit orchestra too - pray for us!) got an exemption from practicing this week. They were thrilled and relieved. Boss immediately said, "Miss Catherine, you're beautiful!" : ) (Now what not giving homework has to do with being beautiful, I'm not sure!)

On a more serious note, one student told me (at least I think he being serious!): "Thank you for leaving America to come all the way here to teach us." One of those moments that makes it all seem worthwhile!

2008-02-20T01:35:00.000-08:00

Helen Henry asked where she could get a copy of "Awesome God" - the children's worship CD I keep talking about. It's produced by and can be ordered at Sovereign Grace Ministries. I (obviously) LOVE that CD and think a lot of it speaks powerfully to adults as well as kids! I've taught almost every song to at least one group of students over the last few years.

I also highly recommend "Valley of Vision" and "Upward: The Bob Kauflin Hymns Project" (the first song on "Upward" was one of the things God used to bring me to Thailand in the first place!).

2008-02-20T01:28:00.000-08:00

I held up a recorder to show my 1st Graders today and half the class, of course, got excited and had their hands raised wanting to tell me that either a) they own one too or b) their older brother or sister plays that instrument. (I've discovered that enthusiasm for the recorder doesn't wear off until around 5th or 6th Grade!) Virain, one of my Indian students, said, "It's a flute! One of my gods plays that instrument!" The boy sitting next to him thought he said "guard"; no, it was "god". He described it/him to us - he is in Virain's house (I think) and sits on (or is friends with?) a snake and plays the flute. That was one I'm not used to hearing! All I could think of to say was, "Oh really? That's interesting." Then I changed the subject!

Idiosyncrasies?

2008-02-18T03:42:00.000-08:00

Kim Cunningham (who has a new blog, btw, now that's she's back in the States: www.mommyscircus.blogspot.com) "tagged" me recently on her blog to share 5 of my "idiosyncrasies." I'm not sure if these are exactly what she meant by "idiosyncrasies" (sorry, Kim!), but here are a few things that most people would not consider quite normal!

1. I like cleaning. (Meghan would probably say this is one of the weirdest things about me!) That's not to say at all that my apartment or classroom is always, or even usually, spotless, but I do enjoy the process and sense of accomplishment that comes from transforming something from being a dirty, filthy wreck to something beautiful. I've found that it also - along with baking - somehow makes me less homesick while here in Bangkok.

2. During the freezing cold of North FL winters (like when temperatures drop down to the 40 or 50 degrees Fahrenheit!), I dance around my house, drink mugs of hot water and wash dishes to keep warm. Of course, I never have that "problem" in Thailand!

3. I've always wanted to own a pair of boxing gloves and a punching bag and to take up kick-boxing. : )

4. When given the choice, I almost always prefer to sit on the floor as opposed to on a chair or couch. Comes in handy while teaching my younger students!

5. If I could live anywhere in the world, based solely on location, it would be Chattanooga, Tennessee. I've had a crush on Tennessee for number of years now. I dream of living in a little 2 bedroom house with a front porch (complete with porch swing, of course) on a large plot of land on which my golden retriever would run. And in this dream, I would play either fiddle or upright bass in a bluegrass band.

Now that I've listed a few of the strange characteristics of Catherine Rogers, I would like to tag Melanie and Rhianna to keep the game going and find out more about them!

2008-02-18T03:35:00.001-08:00

Jenny, one of my piano students, wrote me a song and played it for me at her lesson today. I video-ed her playing it on my digital camera and if I were more computer savvy, I would post the video. But until I figure out how, here are the lyrics to her composition:

Hello, I want to tell you how I learned piano
It all started with my piano teacher
She was really good at playing piano
And I hope she enjoys my song

I did! : )

2008-02-17T05:29:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading The Christian Mind by Harry Blamires. It is an excellent book on Christian world-view - how a Christian should think and look at life. I have written down so many quotes from it, but a couple I read today I thought I'd post...

“The Romantic principle is far different. It gives rein to individual fantasy and passion to a degree which opens the door to lawlessness, intemperance, and disorder. But the door which opens to lawlessness, intemperance, and disorder, offers at the same time a clear path to the exploration of limitless yearning and aspiration. In opening this door, Romanticism virtually proclaims that there is no final and complete satisfaction for man within the finite. The rejection of the Classical spirit is the rejection of the possibility of achieving stability and perfection at the terrestrial level. The assertion of Romanticism is that man’s profoundest yearnings and aspirations break beyond the bounds of any principle of order or harmony that can be fully manifested within the finite. The works and lives of great Romantic artists, if they testify to nothing else, certainly testify to the Christian belief that man is tortured and delighted by dreams and longings which earthly experience can never realize or set at rest. It is true that few Romantic artists have sensed the full significance of the yearnings which they have nursed and glorified, teased, sharpened, and even worshipped; but this failure in understanding does not invalidate the fundamental Romantic principle that it is right for man to fling his heart to the stars when the inner inspiration cries out for a reality beyond the scope of human fashioning. Instead this failure, like the current distorted romanticism of jiving, sex-ridden, gang-minded teenagers, stands as a challenge to Christian thinkers that they should touch man with the guidance and penetration of a theology at the point where his whole soul cries out that earthly life is not enough. And surely this cry is implicit in the rebellion of the delinquent teddy-boy or of the more educated but nonetheless amoral student, as it is in the tortured self-explorations of a Berlioz or a Baudelaire….

“If the dreams and longings of youth did not lose their edge and their delight, but moved to culmination in a final, though finite, satisfaction, we should have less cause to know our homelessness on earth. Because they lose their intrinsic joy, we know our early dreams and longings for what they are, the pointers to fulfillment and reality; not ends in themselves, but significant disturbers of our peace. Unsatisfied longings must be nourished in us, and the elusive dream of fulfillment dangled before us, or we should never know that we are not here, on earth, in our proper resting-place. Utterly divested of this disturbing inheritance, men’s hearts would never desire the ultimate peace and joy offered by God. The Christian mind makes sense of passionate youthful longings and dissatisfactions as pointers to the divine creation of man and the fact that he is called to glory.”

“God calls; and all the vehicles of natural and human beauty are at His disposal in tugging at the soul of man with the vision of the glory. Man responds; and all the richness of human appetite, thrust, and aspiration are at his disposal in either answering obediently or answering rebelliously. He may submit to the discipline inherent in each call to taste and see, making of all things an offering and a self-dedication. Or he may assert the predominance of the grasping, enjoying self in a riot of claimed and plumbed indulgences. The one way leads to peace; the other way to torment.”

Omniscience

2008-02-14T21:51:00.001-08:00

I've been meaning to write this for a few weeks now...

The "song about God" that 1st Grade has been working on this past month was "You Are Always With Me" (from Awesome God - I've telling you, I LOVE that CD!!). I chose it because 1st Grade has been studying the attributes of God in Bible this year and recently learned about His omniscience and omnipresence. This song is taken almost straight from Psalm 139, so it clearly described those attributes.

When introducing the first verse (below), I told the students that I had good news and bad news. The good news is that God knows everything about us: all the things we're good at and do well, everything we're feeling even when no one else understands, etc. The bad news is - God knows everything about us and sees all that we do, even the things we think no one sees and we try to hide from others.

I shared several examples and as I was talking, I noticed the room get very quiet and a sickening look of guilt cross every 1st Grader's face (it might very well have been a reflection of my own expression as I thought about all the things I wished no one knew about me, especially my holy Judge). The whole class was so serious and looked so guilty that I realized - these kids need to hear the gospel in the midst of this terrible news! So I quickly added, "But the good news is, even though God know everything about us, He loves us and sent Jesus to be punished for all of those bad things so that we wouldn't have to be!"

As I was turning on the CD so that we could actually sing that song, I heard Aim (probably the worst behaved student in that class) ask "Does God love when we do bad things?"

I barely heard him before the music was turned on, so I didn't answer right away, but when it was over, I asked Aim to repeat his question. He changed it slightly, asking "Does God love when we are not a Christian?"

We had such a good (and hopefully gospel-centered) class discussion springing from those questions. My students are full of good questions - many of them difficult ones that require me to do some research! It's a very humbling thing as I want so badly to speak the truth to my kids and show them that the Scriptures have an answer to those tough issues. I feel like I have so much to learn still regarding what the Bible even says, what the gospel is and how on earth to communicate that to children, many of whom have no Christian background at all. But I'm so glad they're thinking and feel comfortable enough to ask me.

In another 1st Grade class, after teaching on the same things (God's love and willingness to forgive all the sin that He sees in us), little Sine said, "That is good news!" : )

You know everything about me
You know when I wake and sleep
You know everything I'm thinking
You know all my secret deeds
You know every word I say, long before I say it
You know everywhere I go and all my ways

You are always with me, Jesus
Where could I go? Where could I hide?
You are always with me, Jesus
You never leave my side

If I flew away to heaven,
Jesus, there I would find You
If I sank into the ocean,
Jesus, You would be there too
Even in the darkest night -
to You it's bright as day
You have laid Your hand on me
It's wonderful!

For You Are Holy

2008-02-14T21:43:00.000-08:00

This week I introduced a new song to 1st Grade: "For You Are Holy" (also from Awesome God). We talked about all the things they've learned about God this year and how no one else is all those things or quite like God. I let them listen to the music first, telling them that it wasn't like some of the other songs we'd sung that make us want to move around or dance or be excited. The person that wrote this song wanted us to be very still and quiet and think about who God is and how no one else is like Him.

Afterwards Daniel said, "When I heard that song, I started crying because it made me think of God and all the things He did for me to save me from my sin and it made me want to give Him something to Him but I can't because He is in the sky."

"Come Here"

2008-01-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

Tik, a 1st Grade student, was showing off his family of hamsters after school today. He called me over to introduce them to me. The "baby" that everyone agreed was the cutest he said was named "Ham Ham" (sounds very Thai, actually!). Then, "this one that's the whitest is called 'Whitest'; and...and this one is called 'Come here'!" He was so very matter of fact about it all. Made me laugh! : )

And the latest Emmy Mills quote (I don't think I even told Rhianna about this one; Emmy keeps me laughing!): We were lying on her bed last Saturday night preparing to read a chapter out of "Little House on the Prairie" (I was "guest reader" for the night!) and Emmy was showing me her new "M&M" pillow. She traced the letter M on it and said "M...M...it's like the shape of our nostrils!" : )

God with us

2007-12-24T07:10:00.000-08:00

I am sitting on the plane, about twelve hours or so into the journey home. (Boy, this trip doesn’t get any shorter, no matter how many times I take it!) The more time goes by, however, the more excited I get about what awaits me when I arrive in Jacksonville!

I must admit, I’ve been very homesick the last few weeks. I can’t tell if it’s been because of the holiday season or the “concert” season, but I have missed my family terribly! Everything seems to make me think of them and causes me to miss their presence. God continues to be faithful to meeting my needs – the areas of “lack” that I feel by each person of my family not being around – but I often wish He would meet those needs again through them, not apart from them. I feel very ungrateful in these thoughts though: I have been able to stay in such close contact with my family even despite the distance. I marvel at God’s gifts to me through the internet and the ability to fairly inexpensively call home frequently, not to mention the opportunity to go home twice a year! How many missionaries of the past were only able to receive letters every few months and when they left their homes in the first place, were not able to see their families again for years – if ever! God is indeed gracious.

But the desire remains to be with my family members. I can’t wait to hold or be held by each of them, to play games and watch movies with my siblings, to spend hours talking to my mom over coffee in the mornings, to make music with my Dad (and everyone else at Pinewood!), to laugh and joke around the dinner table. There’s something to be said about being in the physical presence of those you love.

Thoughts of which led to a sweet insight tonight into the preciousness of the gift of Christ’s presence on earth, given to us at Christmas. As I was thinking about these things, I was reminded of 1 John 1…

”That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life – the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us.”

God knew we needed the tangible, so He sent Jesus into the world as a Person we could see, hear and touch. What love and condescension! What grace and mercy – that He would be our Immanuel!

Intent

2007-12-08T04:43:00.000-08:00

Last Monday I met with my principal to give her my "letter of intent." I told her that from what I can see at this time, God is leading me to stay another school year (2008-09) at ICS.

I had been sensing that this was God's answer for a few months, but somehow it was still a hard decision to make (thus one of the reasons I've waited almost a week to write about it here - I've been too sad to want to announce it!). Although I felt a complete peace regarding staying during the months of October and November, December hit with all its holiday memories and Christmas concert stress, and I've been overwhelmed by homesickness. So the thought of being away from my family and home church for even longer is a little hard to bear.

But praise God that He is bigger than my heart's emotions and is able to speak sure words into my confusion, sadness and fears. He did that through wise counselors in my life who were able to sort through my emotions and show me what is true in the midst of them. He spoke to me through situations, answering my questions and needs through them and graciously allowing me to see His work here. But even more amazingly, He spoke to me through His Word! I am now more convinced than I ever have been that the Word of God is living and active (Heb. 4:12). So many of the specific questions that I brought before the Lord, He answered directly through His Word, and in my times of fear and doubt, He very graciously spoke His promises to me again, showing me that "He who call is faithful" - He will supply all my needs and better yet, His presence will indeed be with me as I remain here.

But lest I give the impression that only sadness has resulted from this decision...I am very excited to stay and minister in Thailand. As I mentioned before, this year has been totally different from last year and I feel so much more settled, able to understand my students and serve here better without the stress of having to figure out how to live life all over again! Much of my reason for staying is because I want to "build" on what I've started in the relationships I have with my students (and kids at Maahathai). I really feel like I'm getting to know them as people this year and I want to continue that. In addition to that, overall (aside from the continued homesickness!), I am very happy in Bangkok and blessed in my work, friendships and church. God continually shows me what an amazing family I have amongst the team here and through them he has given me many substitute brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. And lastly, He is growing me. I am continually stretched in my faith and challenged to know and love Him better. He has been causing me to rethink many things and grow in my understanding of how the gospel relates to my daily living and thinking as well as what it means for the people of Thailand. So God has been good and I trust He will continue to act lovingly as He fulfills His purposes for me.

Phaasaa Thay

2007-12-06T01:51:00.000-08:00

I just finished my Thai lesson with Khruu Awe for the week so I'm pumped! I've been telling everyone "Chan rian phassaa Thai!" (I am studying the Thai language!) I'm going to state the obvious here, but...learning Thai has been really useful! It's definitely not easy and I have to study and practice in between lessons, but I've been amazed at how many words/phrases I either already knew or hear on a regular basis but just wasn't sure what they meant. It's funny because the thing that's slowed me down (and yet at the same time, helped me learn more) has been learning to read the Thai phonetics that my book uses. Sometimes I'll be slowly sounding out a word and then go "Oh! That's _____" (a word I already use all the time but didn't recognize). So that's fun. : ) The things I'm learning in Module 1 are also just super useful. Last week we covered the lesson on directions and while I knew over 1/2 the vocabulary for that lesson, I wasn't quite putting the sentences together in the correct way. Not only that, but I discovered a couple of words/phrases that opened a whole new world for me giving directions to taxi drivers! So last weekend I took taxis to the MTW office both times I went there (I usually go there by bus because it's cheaper) just so that I could tell the taxi driver how to get there in advance (instead of telling him to "go straight, go straight, go straight...turn left here!"). After I did the first time and he understood me, I grinned and said "Chan rian phaasaa thay!" He just kind of laughed and complimented me on how well I speak it, which is a lie but was very kind.

Also funny (and has been obvious to many of you for a while but I'm just now realizing): I'm discovering some neat correlations between this tonal language and music. So many people have told me that Thai should be easier for me because I'm a musician, but I've never really thought so up to this point (and I'm still a little doubtful...). But as I'm sounding out my words, I find that "conducting" myself with my pencil helps me say the words correctly. AND I've started using "tones" to teach my kids in class! There have been a few songs I've been teaching them by rote for the Christmas concert but they haven't been singing the endings of phrases correctly. I finally discovered a pattern in one song and wrote it on the board telling them that "this word is a low tone, this one is high tone, this one is a rising tone and this is falling tone..." They immediately sang it correctly! So I guess I'm learning to speak their "language" in more ways than one. : )

Afternoons

2007-11-20T02:59:00.000-08:00

The last few afternoons I've realized that there are many activities that I've been involved in this fall most of which I've never written about on my blog, all of which are great opportunities for God to work if He so chooses and which I have been feeling the need for prayer in. So, in case you needed more specific things to pray for me about (hint, hint), here's your weekly guide as to how to pray for Catherine!

Monday ~

At the beginning of this year, I began praying for 3-4 private students to teach on one afternoon a week after school. Last year I was so busy with other things that I didn't want to fill up even more time with extra music teaching, but then I missed that one-on-one time with students so much that I really wanted to add it back into my schedule. However, knowing that it could add up fast, I decided not to "advertise" but asked that God would bring me the specific students (and their families through them) He wanted me to teach and get to know and that their schedules would work with mine. I now have 2 piano students, both 2nd Grade girls, and one 3rd Grade boy cello student. One girl, Jenny, is an MK (daughter of one of the teachers at ICS); the other, Sunny, is Taiwanese and, if I'm remembering correctly from a conversation I had with her homeroom teacher last year, she and her family are Mormons. The boy, Lyon, is Thai and I'm assuming Buddhist. Yesterday I noticed he was wearing an amulet necklace with either a little image of Buddha or a monk inside it (I didn't get a close enough look). These are really popular here and are sold everywhere. I tried to ask Lyon what it was or was for, but he didn't really want to talk to me about it. He just said his dad gave it to him. Anyway, all 3 students have delightful parents/mothers and work hard and are progressing well in their instruments. Please pray that they will know Christ, though, and that I might be able to point them (and possibly their parents) to Him.

Tuesday ~

Recently a few of my 7th Grade violinists asked me if they could meet to practice in one of my rooms after school (an answer to my prayer!). 2 are in my Strings class - the most advanced by far in that class - and one is so advanced he's not even in my class (which is probably a good thing!). Last week they asked me to play the cello part in one of the quartets they are working on. They all sounded so good that it was really neat to play with them and exciting to play more difficult music. They certainly are challenging me musically, however!! From the practice logs that they turn in, I'd say they practice an average of 2-3 hours a day (I haven't practiced that much since college!). So that's good and again, fun to think about the musical possibilities there. But again, another opportunity to get to know them and spend time with them and find out where they are spiritually.

Thursday ~

A few weeks ago I started Thai language tutoring! I'm so excited! My teacher, Khru Awe, who used to work with the MTW team but is now teaching Thai at ICS, comes highly recommended. She's taking me through the same textbook that Paul and Crystal went through in Lop Buri, so it's very systematic. From the first two lessons, I've come away both encouraged and a little overwhelmed - encouraged by the amount of vocabulary that I've been able to pick up on my own over the last year, but overwhelmed by how poorly I've been pronouncing everything and by how difficult the language is to learn! But I've been practicing and it's been neat to already be able to communicate with the Thais around me better.

Friday ~

I mentioned that last year Katy Veldhorst and I were meeting for discipleship...at the beginning of this year I asked her if she wanted to continue that and if so, in what format, and she asked if we could open it up to 2 of her other (best) friends to join. So now there's three (all now Freshmen in HS), the other two girls being the daughters of ICS teachers. We've met a bit sporadically due to crazy schedules, but the times we have had Bible study, it's been so much fun and so encouraging to me personally. All three of these girls are amazing and incredibly mature (spiritually and otherwise) for their age. I've really felt like I have nothing to teach them and they've already taught me some things, but it is a joy just to meet and study the Word and hang out together. Last Friday one of the girls asked me several questions she had after doing her devotions that week. What questions! I wanted to say (and did start to...), "Yeah, I've wondered the same thing!" But at the same time, I felt like God gave me some answers to share about what I've learned about those things over the years and, while it probably didn't answer her questions completely, hopefully it shed some light on the subjects at hand. Between these girls and my students at ICS, I've been super challenged in my own study of the Word. I need to know it so much better than I do!! Pray that I'll be more disciplined in that area and that God will give me understanding so I can better teach others.

Saturday ~

I've continued to go to Maahathai on Saturday afternoons this year and the kids there continue to be a delight! I feel like I've been able to get to know them a little better, especially as I'm learning to communicate with them in their own language and their English improves through the English lessons. Recently we've had a lot more kids show up - ones that I've never even seen before - so that's exciting too! Many of these kids also come on Sunday to Thai worship or hang out at the office throughout the week and a few have professed faith. It's so awesome to see God at work in their lives! The best part about being there is probably to be an observer of that work and of the Thai Christians (MTW interns and my friends!) who teach them - and of course, being the recipient of hugs and cuddling from the kids!

So, I am being challenged and obviously have a lot of growing to do in all of these things. Please pray for those mentioned, when God puts it on your heart, and ask that God would pour out His grace on all of these dear people in my life!

7th Grade Boys

2007-11-12T02:04:00.000-08:00

While my students were packing up at the end of class today, the boys were joking around (as usual) 1/2 in English, 1/2 in Thai. Then Preedee calls to me...

"Miss Catherine, when is your birthday?"
"June 7th."
"What? It's already past?! I should have burped for you!"

And let me tell you, Miss Catherine was bitterly disappointed to have missed that one!

Just thought I'd let you in on some of the nuttiness of my 7th Grade boys...

Heart to Change the World

2007-10-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight while I was praying I turned on the song "Heart to Change the World" and almost immediately started weeping. If truth be told, I was already crying before I listened to that song, but when I heard the words of it again, I completely lost it. Partly because it brought back so many precious, precious memories of my children's choir kids at Pinewood and my own family and the process we all walked through and grew in the year before I came to Thailand as we worked on that musical. It made me miss home and long for everyone there so much! And not only that, but ache for the continued growth of all those I love at home in having a heart for the nations. I prayed for many of the children by name tonight...I wished I had my old choir roster in my hands so I wouldn't forget anyone!

But I also wept because of my own heart and what those lyrics revealed in what is lacking within. Do I really have a heart to change the world? Supposedly I'm in Thailand for that reason, but is that what is really driving me being or staying here?

The last few weeks have been filled will longer, more intense times of seeking God's face as I try to figure out what He desires for my future. He has not yet made the "ICS decision" clear, but He has most certainly heard my prayers and has met me in those times of praying with His Spirit to do His work in my heart. He's been revealing many things to me - much about Himself and much about myself. Lots of sin and impure motives in my decision-making have come to the surface and have needed to be confessed.

Tonight was no exception. Do I have a heart to change the world? Do I long for my students and Thai friends and neighbors to come to know Christ? I've been thinking a lot this past week about the great things - almost miracles! - God has done in response to my/our prayers. He is so powerful and truly does hear when we cry out to Him! Every prayer answered has encouraged me to pray more often and more specifically and then to wait more expectantly for Him to answer it. I think about how hopeful and even sure (Heb. 11:1) I was that the Lord would return the violin - and He did! Why don't I pray that specifically and expectantly about vastly more important things than lost violins and teacher openings at our school? God has been revealing my prayerlessness and faithlessness when it comes to the salvation of my students. I often try to be - and hopefully am - faithful in proclaiming the Word during class (with more or less passion, depending on the day or subject at hand), but so often I just figure that all that I say either will or won't be remembered by these students and that eventually everything that all of us teachers are teaching them about the Word will not return void but will accomplish what God desires. I believe all of that to be true, from what the Bible says, and it keeps me humble knowing that whatever comes of my little service is God's work. But there is no urgency or expectation in that and I am rarely ready to see God's work when it does happen.

God has been convicting my heart to pray for my students more specifically and to be more watchful about His work in the near future. One thing I've started to pray for (and that I would ask you to also pray for, my effective pray-ers!) is for one-on-one, "gospel" conversations with my older students. With around 200 students, it's rare to ever have one-on-one conversations with any of them, but more often this past year, I've had students come to my room after school to pick up instruments or practice or hand in assignments. It's been fun to see them more often and get to know them a bit outside of class, but please pray that some of those conversations will be longer and go deeper. And pray that I'll be ready for them when God does answer this prayer! : )

The Lord is so patient with me and my apathetic, faithless heart! It is moments like these that I am so grateful my salvation and His forgiving of me rests in something (Someone) other than myself - something so sure, that is already completed. Thank the Lord for His great mercy!

You and I've got to have a heart to change the world
Let the song start to sing in every boy and girl
Start to share, start to care, from a heart of love
Let the world know that Jesus loves them

Jesus told us to go and share in every land
Over seas, through the hills, across the desert sand
Start to share, start to care, from a heart of love
Let the world know that Jesus loves them

How will the people know? How will the people know?
How will the people know unless we show them?

By God's grace, in God's strength, we can change the world
Let the world know that Jesus loves them.

Our Omniscient, Omnipotent God

2007-10-25T22:54:00.000-07:00

God has shown Himself powerfully to my 5th Grade class, just like I asked Him to! Just a few minutes ago, I was cleaning up the string room, straightening the chairs in my anal way, and I saw some instruments lying around that students had failed to pick up for the weekend. I decided to check the labels on the cases, as I've done the last few weeks, to see if God had answered my prayer to return Boom's violin. I must admit, the last week and 1/2 I've been pretty discouraged about that whole situation, about our administration's decision to not replace his instrument, and even a little disappointed in God for not answering our prayers as a class and my own frequent prayers to bring his instrument back. But encouraged by the Hudson Taylor biography I've been reading a little more of recently, I decided to keep praying and keep looking. And God proved Himself worthy of my faith and waiting on Him! I found a violin with Boom's name all over it lying on the floor of the string room, just where he said he had left it in the first place. It obviously hasn't been there for weeks and I have no idea how it got back to that location, other than that perhaps God Himself brought it back. I picked it up, opened it to make sure the violin was still actually there and then raced up to one of the 5th Grade rooms to check with Boom to see if there was something I didn't know. He was as surprised as I was and the whole class cheered and clapped when they heard the good news. I was able to share with them this work of God and God's love for us demonstrated through it and then we all stopped to pray and praise God together (I totally interrupted poor Ms. Marina's social studies lesson to do all this, by the way - although I don't think the students minded!). So exciting! My heart is full of praise!

While I had been cleaning, I had a CD of chapel music jamming in the music room and one of my favorite songs on that CD was on, one that speaks of God's greatness and power. The chorus is "This God, He is Our God, forever more and ever more. He'll be our guiding light from now until the end of time. Alleluia." I love it because it's almost feels like bragging when singing those words. That's what I feel like doing right now: bragging on my God!

Next Step

2007-10-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad told me a few weeks ago that people at home have been asking what my plans are for next year. People have been asking since last year when I came home at Christmas and I've been saying the same thing each time: "I feel like I need to wait until I've gone back after the summer and live some of a “second year” in Bangkok before I'll be able to make an informed decision as to how long I should stay here." The first year was such an emotional rollar-coaster ride - with one minute me being thrilled to be here, the next ready to pack up and move back home - it was hard to even begin to see clearly what God had for me.

The last few months of this "second year" have been good. One of the best parts about it has been being in the same place more than one year, not having to face constant "newness" and not having to worry about making a massive, life-altering decision. I decided to not even seriously think or pray about the upcoming decision of next year until the middle of October, not so much because I didn't want seek God about it, but more that I wanted to enjoy where He had placed me and thought that the best act of trust in His guidance and provision would be to actually not think about it constantly. And He has given me the grace to not worry about it.

Well, it's the middle of October now and I was reminded of that fact by an email from our administration saying that letters of intent would be passed out next month and then would need to be returned by early December (earlier than they were for teachers last year, due to struggles with recruiting teachers this year). So consequently the "decision" (I feel like that word should be accompanied by some ominous "dum, dum, dum DUM" kind of sound effect!) is now occupying much more of my thoughts and prayers.

Last weekend, I must admit, I began to get more anxious about it too. There are pulls on many sides: many possibilities exist, all of which seem to be very good and all of which tug at at least one piece of my heart. So I need much prayer for guidance as I walk through this process of sorting through things and determining where God wants me to be next year.

The beautiful thing is, however, that the anxiety of last weekend was short lived. God is really giving me the amazing ability to wait on Him about this and to be content in not knowing the full picture. That has almost never been the case in the past. But the more I live life, the more happy I am in knowing only the little bit that lies ahead and being able to entrust the rest to God. I remember one time when I was a teenager, I came to my dad, asking him about the future and why didn't God just let us know everything that was going to happen at one time. My dad asked me instead what I would think if God told me that twenty years down the road I'd be taken captive in a foreign country, watching my husband and children being brutally murdered before my eyes - would I really want to know the whole picture? I decided I probably wouldn't be able to handle that knowledge. It's a hard thought but one that's stuck with me. And it's true - the more things that happen in my present, I realize that several years ago I would not have had the ability to accept or handle them at that time. But God's grace is sufficient for each day when it arrives: it's not early and it's not late. So I delight to wait on Him in the knowledge that whatever He asks of me for next year, the ability to do that thing (or accept His will in that) will also be there when the time arrives.

The other beautiful thing that He's been doing through this time of seeking Him is He has been making my path clear and has been guiding me as to what I should do, just as I've asked Him to. Last weekend I prayed that He would speak into my confusion through His word and He DID! Through Scriptures quoted in a sermon I was reading and then the next day in a sermon I heard in worship. And it was such a direct answer to my questions that I felt like both were spoken to ME! (The same thing happened again in yesterday's sermon, except in that case I really am suspicious that Dave was directing his comments at me! : ) And not only that, but my parents have shared some very insightful things, not only about my different "options" but about where they (who know me so well) see my heart is and what their own hearts are leaning towards. Thank God for godly parents who love the Lord and are so incredibly wise!! So God is making it clear, step by step, and I feel confident that He will bring me to complete peace as to how I should respond in December.

Some of my favorite verses that I keep going back to…

”Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!...How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” Isaiah 30:18-21

Boom's Violin

2007-10-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

And speaking of 5th Grade strings... (It seems like that's all I've been speaking of on this blog recently!) We have a problem. (Translation: we have a situation in which I and others have been shown to be powerless and therefore we have an opportunity for God to show Himself powerful in our midst!) "Violin Boom" came to me after school 2 weeks ago saying that his violin was not in the string room when he went to pick it up. The music faculty at ICS has been requiring this year for the students to all label their instrument cases and keep them in the music rooms during the school day so as to keep them safe. Well, somehow our plan faltered. Boom, being the good student that he is, labeled his violin case outside and inside and left it in the string room after class. At the end of the school day, it was gone. I have no idea what happened. In the past couple of weeks we've questioned the students, teachers, maintenance/cleaning staff - no one has seen it. I thought probably someone picked it up by mistake - there are 26 other violinists in that one class! - but no one has admitted to that. I hate to think of theft, but I really don't know what to think anymore. Sadly, Boom got in trouble with his parents when he got home and his Dad has come to school asking about it several times. We (music faculty and administration) are currently discussing our policy on instruments and who is responsible in a situation like that (I think the school is...) but for various reasons, haven't made a decision yet.

In the meantime, I've been praying. Alone and with my students during class. And the more I pray, the more I'm convinced of the fact that the omniscient God I trust in knows exactly where that violin is and saw it when it left the room and that the omnipotent God I pray to is able to bring it back! It's been a really neat teaching opportunity to share these facts with the kids as we pray together and I'm almost excited that God has brought up this situation. However, the more I pray (especially with the students), the more hopeful I become that God will work mightily in this situation, not merely so that Boom will have his violin back, but so that the 5th Graders will see that God really is omniscient and omnipotent and able and willing to answer our prayers. I'm no longer concerned about Boom getting a violin - it looks like if it doesn't show up in the next few days that the school will most likely pay for him to get another one. (If they don't, I might!) Right now I'm afraid (in my flesh) that God will miss this opportunity to reveal Himself to the students. (I know that's silly. His way is best and if He chooses not to work in the way that I currently think would bring Him most glory, I'm sure He has other plans for making Himself look good in this...) Would you please pray with me for a great demonstration of God's power? And further, that hearts in my class (and in Boom's family) will be changed because of it? Not sure if I'm crazy or just excited but I want so much for this to happen! : )

Sad

2007-10-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

Just after the "high" of International night when we celebrated our school's diversity... This morning I was changing the seating arrangment of my 2nd grade class for the 2nd quarter (hard to believe we're 1/4 of the way through the school year already!!). When I told one of the Thai boys to go and sit by another boy, he made a face and sat down only halfway on the chair, as far away from the other boy as he could possibly get while still being considered in that chair. One of the girls in the class (who enjoys pointing out the misbehavior of others : ) said that this boy didn't like being around the other boy - because of his dark color. It made me so sad (and angry!). Boy #2 is a precious Indian student with a perpetual toothless grin. It grieves my heart that those feelings even exist at our school, but the longer I work here, the more racism and "separatist" attitudes I see in our students. I didn't respond to the whole thing very well today in class - I was so taken aback I didn't really know how to respond - but it really seems like it's an attitude that I can't change anyway. God needs to do a work in this boy's heart and in all of our hearts to give us a true love for those who are different - and only He can make that change.

"Musician in the Rain"

2007-10-13T05:52:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to take this picture ever since coming to Bangkok. This is my imitation of the poster on Mr. Bjella's (my cello professor at Stetson) wall. The real photograph was a black and white of a man in a raincoat, standing beside a street in Paris, France. Well, this is my SE Asian rainy season version, complete with palm trees and roosters in the background!

And speaking of the rainy season, the weather here has been overcast and dreary, if not outright raining, ever since I returned in August. When I was at home this past summer, my grandmother told me that every time she looks at Bangkok's weather in the newspaper, it shows a raincloud. Well, it's true! It rains and/or storms just about every day - sometimes in the morning, more often at night. The good part about it is that it's a bit cooler than it would be otherwise; the downside is that I often end up wet! The last 3 nights we've had some of the most intense lightning storms I've ever been in. I sat in the dark last night just looking out my glass windows and doors, awestruck by the power of God. The shots of lightning were almost blinding and the storm went on for at least few hours...

Cello section!

2007-10-13T05:39:00.000-07:00

Boom, one of the 6 cellists in 5th Grade (we have 2 "Boom"'s in that class - "Cello Boom" and "Violin Boom" - and a "Bam": makes for a "dynamic" class! ; ) groaned the other day as she was taking her instrument home, "The cello is too big!" I wanted to say, "I've been thinking that for years..." but instead the teacher in me gave an enthusiastic, "Yes, but it has such a deep, beautiful sound that it's worth it!!" Poor girl. I'm afraid she's already day-dreaming of playing the piccolo.

And here's me with Kaymee, resident violin-tuner and bridge-setter-upper extraodinaire!

My 5th Grade

2007-10-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

Kamyee, my wonderful 5th Grade strings assistant, took these pictures during class last Thursday. I'm so proud of the students! They are working so hard and are really coming along!

International Night 2008

2007-10-13T05:15:00.000-07:00

I have about decided that "International Night" is my favorite ICS event. I just got back from the show and dinner and it was so much fun! It's always so cool to see the students in their national, traditional dress and to learn more about their culture. And I'm always blown away by the talent of our students! In my opinion, it's as good (if not better) as some of the tourist Thai cultural shows I've been to. There was some incredible dancing, singing and music-making tonight! My favorite dances, costumes and food are still Indian, I think, although the Taiwanese "Kung fu" demonstration was pretty inspiring (makes me want to sign up for martial arts classes!), as were the Korean percussion ensemble and the Taiwanese and Chinese dances. There were a few more countries represented this year, with slide shows and national anthems sung from Canada, New Zealand and the Phillipines, but sadly the US was probably the least well done, with only an attempt at "God Bless the USA" (and our food table was again almost all desserts; no wonder Americans weigh so much more than Asians! Sigh...)

This year was doubly fun because Tang, my Thai friend (and MTW intern) came with me for the evening. It was fun to introduce her to my students and see her reaction to all of the acts. She obviously had a deeper appreciation for what it took to put together the Thai dances, but interestingly enough, her favorite acts and food seemed to be from Korea. She ate very little Thai food and went straight for the sushi and kimchi! Having her there was a treat. : )

Cambodia Firsts

2007-09-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we had Friday off from school so I took the opportunity to get out of the country, going to Phenom Penh, Cambodia. Although it was my second trip to Cambodia, the weekend was full of "firsts," the first of which was the fact that I went there alone. The whole point of the trip originally was to meet up with my cousin Christina and her friend who are traveling around SE Asia this month and to "see the sights" with them. However, a few days before I left, she emailed to say that some of her travel plans had been necessarily changed and because it was so tricky to even get in touch with each other, the "meeting up" part fell through. By that time I had already purchased a plane ticket and gotten my visa, so I decided to go on by myself. I don't think I've ever traveled around a foreign country completely by myself, with the exception of maybe the journey I took from Bejing to Hong Kong while I was in China (and I guess going to Hong Kong in the first place). It was a neat adventure, even if it was a little strange. It ended up, however, that I spent very little time alone in the three days I was there. A few weeks prior to going, I had emailed the new MTW missionaries in Phenom Penh, Lloyd and Eda Kim, and introduced myself, asking them what kinds of things they had going on ministry-wise on the weekends. When Lloyd wrote back, he volunteered to pick me up from the airport and take me to my hotel, which was a great blessing. On Friday morning we met in person at the airport and when he found out that I was alone for the weekend and had no concrete plans except for maybe exploring the city on my own, he decided to help me plan out my time in Phenom Penh. (He was probably afraid I'd get myself lost or something!) He loaned me a cell phone to use while I was there and assigned the MTW intern, Richard, to come and pick me up and show me around the city. Richard was super great and, having been in PP for 4 months, knew how to get around better than I would have (he was quite the bargainer when it came to tuk-tuk fares!). He took me to the Imperial Palace, Wat Phenom (a park/temple), market-shopping and to a few very cute and classy cafes in the Riverside area of town. A really neat guy, I enjoyed hearing his perspective on what God is doing in Cambodia and what he's learned from his time there. It was also a blessing to have a male escort in the evenings as Phenom Penh is apparently more dangerous than I had thought (Richard said that most of his students have gotten mugged at some point after dark).

On Saturday afternoon I went to the ministry center where the MTW team and other missionary couple that they are partnering with teach English classes and have Bible studies. On Saturdays they have a music practice for the Sunday worship service, then train the students (Christians, mostly between the ages of 16-22) to go out to the villages on Sunday afternoons to lead children's Sunday school and other outreaches. The non-MTW missionary couple, David and Lalit Clarke (from Australia and the Philippines), has been in Phenom Penh for 8 years now and it was so awesome to get to know them and see the fruit of their long(er)-term ministry! There were about 25-30 students who came to worship on Sunday morning and around 10 who were at the training time on Saturday afternoon and later went out to the villages. What a beautiful thing to see these newer believers going out and sharing the gospel with others! I also enjoyed worshipping with them. They let me play piano/keyboard for some of the worship and I attempted to help one of the girls who was learning to play piano and usually helped lead (I actually think I messed her up more than helped though!).

Later on Saturday evening, Lloyd and Eda invited me over for dinner with their family and then the Clarkes encouraged me to stay at their place (the second floor of the ministry center) that night. I am continually amazed at the hospitality of those in the body of Christ! They were so kind to invite me in and put so much effort into serving me, someone they didn't even know! And I was so enriched by getting to know them, hearing about their work, what God is doing in that country and gaining from their experience and wisdom. It was a great blessing just being around these amazing people!

Oh - my other two "firsts" of the weekend: on Saturday night I rode 3 to a "moto" (motorcycle). Though I've ridden on motorcycle taxis many times in Bangkok, it's typically just been me and the driver. With three of us on the seat, my feet were practically dragging on the ground when we turned corners and I'm surprised I didn't fall off the back! I thought it was particularly fitting that this first experience should occur in Cambodia where anywhere from 3-5 men, women and even children on a motorcycle is commonplace.

And the other: Sunday afternoon Lalit took me out to the Cambodian countryside to see their village ministry. I could not ride in the van with the others because I had a plane to catch, but she saw that I really wanted to go (I fell in love with rural Cambodia on the bus ride I took last year from Phenom Penh to Siam Reap) so she asked her driver to take us out to one village in her car so that I could see it for a bit. One of the first things she said when we got in the car was that it was on her and her husband’s "to do" list to get a new car this month because this one was getting so old. Rather prophetic of her to say so. : ) About 30-45 minutes down the country road, we heard a ticking sound and had to pull over. For the next 1 and 1/2 hours or so, we sat by the side of the highway, the driver looking under the hood and Lalit calling people on her phone in turn. I just laughed and stood there taking pictures of all the interesting vehicles, people and cows that passed us. I must be cursed when it comes to cars - I feel like I've been stranded by so many roadsides in my lifetime that this experience didn't even phase me. If anything, it was just more interesting and adventurous-feeling because it was in a foreign country in the middle of nowhere. But it was one of those "Where am I and how did I get here?!" moments in my life that seem to be occurring more and more frequently these days. The real adventure began when we started talking about how to get me back to the Phenom Penh airport in time for my flight (we sadly had to give up on going to the village altogether). The car eventually made it to an extremely rough-looking garage to get new sparkplugs put in, but that was supposedly going to take too long for me to wait on. So Lalit said, "Let's hitch-hike!" Most of the vans that passed us by were full and spilling over with people (and in Cambodia, they literally "spill" over - people piled on top and hanging on for dear life!!). We ended up flagging down a tuk-tuk with 3 women and a little baby in it, hopped aboard and before long were bumping along the highway back to the airport. It probably took 20 minutes longer in a tuk-tuk than in a car - even motorcycles were passing us! – and it had to have been the bumpiest and most dusty ride of my life, but Lalit and I just laughed the whole way. I got my fill of Cambodian countryside that afternoon and made it back to the airport in plenty of time. : )

String Update

2007-09-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

For those who have been praying for me: God has clearly been providing for my huge 5th Grade string class. All the instruments arrived last Tuesday and the parents who came to pick them up throughout the afternoon trickled in nicely so that I was able to talk to them and get them everything they needed in a calm manner. It was actually pretty fun to talk to the students and their parents one on one (or two on one, as the case may be) and as these new players picked up their brand new violins and cellos, I found myself getting as excited as they were! It took a ton of work to get them all ready to play and, after working until 8:00 p.m. on both Tuesday and Wednesday, I found myself having let go of my over-ambitious hopes of having everything set and ready to go for the semester by last Thursday. Thursday was a little rough as it was the first day with the new instruments, but even then God provided in sending a helper! The wife of one of the new teachers at the school is a violinist and has volunteered to come in and help me with these classes. She is so fun and I can already tell will be great with the students (she used to teach herself before her daughter was born). Thursday she came in and just started tuning. In one class period, she had one row of students tuned up and after today, I think she had made the rounds of the whole class. She is a huge answer to prayer, as that is one major thing I don't have to worry about while teaching and I have hopes of even spliting the class in the future for sectionals with her. Oh, and I have no fallen bridges or broken strings to report (other than the ones my students broke themselves at home), so that's made me a little less uptight. Praise God!

Overwhelmed

2007-09-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

This evening I left work at 7:00 for the second Monday in a row. A long work day, considering that I arrived at school at 7:00 this morning. I guess it's nothing new to being a teacher - and so many other teachers (my mom!) work so much harder than I do - but I've been feeling rather overwhelmed recently, regarding one class in particular. After 4 weeks or so of meeting with all four sections of 5th Grade classes at our school together with me and the band director trying to figure out who would be in band and who would be in strings, we finally decided and separated into two classes. This year instrumental music is required in 5th Grade (that may change next year because of all that's happened!), so dividing about 75 students between two teachers didn't leave much hope for me to begin with, but the more classes that went by, the more students I found wanted to be in strings and now I have a class of 33 beginning string players all to myself! (To clarify, that's 33 10-11 year olds who have never held a string instrument before.) At first I was just glad to know who was in my class and finally get started, but the more I think about it, the more that number grows in my mind in terms of responsibility and planning and classroom management and grading and so on. I've been so spoiled with small classes! Last year's 15 in beginning strings seemed like the largest number I could comfortably handle. Now I have twice that many! Yikes.

The biggest stress of the last week concerning all this, however, is not the kids. I'm really grateful because I know almost all of them from last year. They're all (mostly!) super great, respectful, enthusiastic and eager to get started, which excites me. It's getting them instruments and thinking about tuning those instruments twice a week (I'm thinking it'll have to be less this year) that feels like a huge weight right now. I put in a large order of instruments and supplies last Friday and they are all arriving tomorrow. Some already had instruments, so tomorrow I'll "only" have 15 violins and 4 cellos to get set up (bridges up, fingering tape on, etc.) and tuned in one afternoon - a huge project when today it took me 30-45 minutes to tune and/or change strings on about 4 or 5 instruments. Nothing makes me more uptight than hearing bridges "pop" when they fall down or strings breaking - something that has been and will continue to be common occurance for me, it seems.

But I'll stop complaining. God has granted me this learning experience and I know I'll grow tremendously through it. On the plus side, I am very excited about having so many string players added to our fledging program. 27 new violinists and 6 cellists! Naturally, I'm especially excited about the 6 cellists and so is Sam (our lone 6th grade cellist at ICS). If I can manage to teach them something in the two short class periods a week I have with them, it will be a really great thing in a few years. And they are great students, so I'm sentimentally glad I don't have to give them up to the band director. : )

Another beautiful thing God has been showing me in the last few weeks is the growth and learning I've already gone through this past year with regards to teaching strings. I'm no longer a first-year strings teacher! (I feel just about as excited as when I passed the first-year teacher mark.) I feel a lot more secure in what I'm doing and have a list of things that I should "never do again" that are helping to guide me in this new year. I'm so glad God gave me a smaller and incredibly sweet class last year to begin to figure all this out.

All that to say - please pray for me, especially on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 7:15 as I take on this large responsibility! And pray for the times in between when I'm planning for it and trying not to dream about it at night (already had that teaching nightmare a few nights ago! Sigh...). I truly covet your prayers as I see that God always hears and answers them.

This is Thailand

2007-09-13T05:02:00.000-07:00

Today the power cut off for almost 2 hours during the school day. (Turns out it was not just at our school but the whole neighborhood, including my apartment complex.) No lights, no computer and most importantly, no AC! My 7th Grade string class came into my room after PE already hot and sweaty. During the whole class time they kept asking to open the windows (which we did, but it actually seemed to make it worse!) and if they could "try" out the lights, "just in case" the power had come back on. After about 45 minutes of rehearsing in a hot room and hearing my students complain, I saw sweat dripping from one of my Thai student's faces down onto his violin and decided to call it quits. I told them to pack up (20 minutes early) and we went to the cafeteria where I bought them all ice cream! : )

When I got back to my classroom at the end of the period, I noticed that several teachers in the Elementary building had opened all their windows and doors in hopes of catching a breeze. Hot as it was, it was kind of fun as the whole campus seemed to be more connected. I could hear teachers' and students' voices in the background and it made me wonder if this was (is?) how a lot of Thai schools were not too long ago. When the power came back on, I could hear cheers from all over the campus! : )

My friend Jaime and I look at days or events like this and say to each other "This is Thailand!" It's just one of many things that happens fairly regularly here that didn't seem to at home.

I don't know if I've written this on my blog before, but the Thai word for hot is "rang" - pronounced "wrong." I agree, it's just wrong!

Beautiful Sounds...

2007-09-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

...that I've been enjoying recently. : )

*the tinkling of the windchimes hanging from my balcony as I go to sleep and my neighbor's windchimes that I pass on the walk to school each morning.

*giggles from my younger students when they hear the end of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" by Grieg (listening selection of the week). It's so fun that they enjoy this music and catch the humor in it!

*cello etudes coming from the second floor apartment in another building in my complex that I pass by. The apartment belongs to Sam, our token ICS cellist, and I often hear him practicing by an open screen door as I walk home in the evenings.

*my Middle School string classes when they play in tune and all together (which they are doing more often these days!). Reminds me of when "Jack" (Joshua Daniel) observed in class a few years ago that "it sounds really good when we all play together". That was one of my "YES!" moments as a teacher! : )

*2nd Grade singing out on "Standing on the Promises" and 1st Grade as they sing all those 4- and 5-syllable words in "Indescribable" so well! The looks on their faces are just precious when they raise their hands to the words "You are amazing, God!"

Parkland pool

2007-09-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

One of the many gifts God has given me here!

The building in the background of this picture contains a convenience store, coffee shop, 3 restaurants (one of which is becoming a favorite: the "Som Tum" restaurant!), post office, pharmacy, gym, massage parlor and a few other things. It's really nice to have everything so close, within walking distance! During the week, I rarely need to leave this area.

Parkland

2007-09-10T06:48:00.000-07:00

My apartment complex - what I walk through everyday on my way to school (or anywhere!)

My view

2007-09-10T06:45:00.001-07:00

The best part about where I live...

My new apartment

2007-09-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

Dad's been after me to post pictures of my new apartment. I wanted to wait until my furniture (table/counter and bench) was delivered before I posted them. Here's the little, quirky studio apartment that's becoming home for me... : )

My "bedroom"

My "living room" (note the bright red bench that Rhianna convinced me to buy! I figured the furniture selection in my apartment couldn't get any crazier than it already was and maybe a little red would balance out the rest of the blue furniture and "lovely" blue, palm-tree dotted curtains!)

My "kitchen" - thanks to my new table, I no longer have to cook on the floor! : )

My bright blue refridgerator:

Praying "Big"

2007-08-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

God is so amazing. He has answered a "big" prayer that I decided to start praying last week in a way that exceeded my expectations and hopes. Even though I didn't even ask you, my readers, to pray for it, I wanted you to share in the joy of the answer and in the wonder of our great God!

For the past 8 months or so, ever since the hiring process at ICS began for this 2007-2008 year, the school has been struggling to find teachers. God provided for many positions, but there were so many to be filled this year that we continued to be in need, even at the start of orientation on August 1st. A few of the positions had been filled originally, but setback after setback occurred as teachers who had originally committed to coming did not follow-through. All last spring we prayed - many fasted for these positions. This August, upon our return, we prayed even harder, bewildered at what God was doing. Didn't He hear own prayers? Surely He knows our need - why would He not provide qualified, kingdom-seeking Christians to come and teach in Bangkok? Our administrators have been stressed, to say the least, and working overtime, interviewing and trying to contact even more interviewees. School started and we began with subs in several of the Middle and High School positions, with other teachers' schedules rearranged to take on extra classes to make it work. We continued to pray - alone, in small groups, as a faculty.

Last week, after talking with one of the MS subs, I discovered that she would not be able to stay longer than two more weeks. The next day I found out that the other MS sub also had a two-week or so deadline. So I decided to start praying more specifically: that God would bring two new teachers for those positions to Bangkok within two weeks. Impossible-sounding, I know - especially in consideration of the fact that the process would involve not only actually finding, interviewing and hiring two teachers, but both of them being able to pick up and move overseas (most likely) in the space of two weeks. I almost didn't want to pray it, because I was afraid of being disappointed. But I kept thinking of Jeremiah 32:17: "Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too difficult for You!"

That was last Wednesday. On Thursday I prayed that prayer with some other teachers who sounded surprised that I would even ask such a big thing. First thing this morning (Monday) I got an email from our MS principal. She said that the school just hired a "teaching couple" - a husband and wife whose qualifications fit our exact MS needs! Not only that, but this couple had taught for many years in Thailand several years ago at a different school, then went to Korea and were just now finishing their teaching assignment there and visiting family in Canada. They will be able to be in Bangkok and at work next week!! I could hardly believe what I was reading! Both needs, both prayers, answered in one moment - in a way that was clearly ordained by God long ago. He knew - as I had suspected ; ) - His plan to fill those positions for years and waited until we were ready, when He would be most glorified, to let us know. I am blown away!!

Indescribable

2007-08-23T04:40:00.000-07:00

One joy of the last few days as we've started more of a typical music class routine has been teaching my students about God and singing His praises with them. This year I'm making an effort to collaborate a little bit more with the classroom teachers regarding the hymns/songs I choose to teach the kids. ICS uses John Piper's children's (Sunday school?!) curriculum, which is supposedly super good, and each year/grade they focus on different Biblical themes. 1st Grade is learning about the attributes of God, 2nd Grade is learning about His promises, 4th does the names of God, etc. For 1st and 2nd I'm trying to pick monthly songs or hymns that go along with what they are already learning. (I had already decided to do something a little different for 3rd and 4th, working through redemptive history - creation, fall, redemption, etc.) It helps with planning for me, but more than that hopefully it'll help the kids understand these things better.

The first thing that the 1st Graders are learning about God is that He is "incomprehensible." Kim, my 1st Grade teacher friend, said that the kids love saying that word as they count out all six syllables. She said that they feel (and rightly so) so smart to know such a big word! As I was praying through songs to choose for them, I was reminded of Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable", which speaks of God in a similar manner. I almost didn't want to teach it, though, because of the huge words it includes, but then I decided to take the risk. I figured that, if it was presented in the right way, maybe the students could grasp these 4-, 5-, and 6-syllable words (or not grasp them, as the case may be!). So yesterday I began to explain how God is "uncontainable," "all powerful," "untamable," the One who placed the stars in the sky millions of light years away - AMAZING! We've only begun to work on this song, but one class yesterday almost had their mouths open, saying "Whoa!" - and these precious young ones even attempted to sing all of those big words with me! It touched my heart.

Also encouraging: a rather "ADD" (don't know if he really is, but he tends to come across that way!) 3rd Grade student of mine interrupted me a few days ago, reminding me of the story I told last year of a bird I discovered flying around in the music room (it was a little startling at first, then very funny!). When he brought it up, I told the story again to this year's class so they could enjoy it, then Com said, "Yeah and you told us about how God made it..." I remembered using the bird as an illustration of the wonder of God's creation while teaching the beautiful song "I Adore You, Jesus." I didn't figure this boy was even listening, much less would remember that months later. It was a good reminder that God is going to use what He wants of what comes out of my mouth when He wants to, even when I doubt it's possible.

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings.
All exclaiming...

Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, Untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...

Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.

Kanchanaburi pictures

2007-08-21T03:29:00.000-07:00

Kanchanaburi

2007-08-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

This past Monday, the Ministry of Education in Thailand declared a school holiday for the purpose of encouraging people to vote on the draft of the new constitution. Since we didn't have school, a few of my girl-friends and I seized the opportunity to get out of town, traveling to the little town/city of Kanchanaburi, which is a couple hours west of Bangkok (actually the same place where the English camp was held when the Pinewood team came in May - except at that time we stayed at a resort a little bit outside of the city). Two of my friends had discovered a cheap but really nice little guesthouse there last year and ended up staying there about 3 times over the course of the year. Set right on the "River Kwai", it was a beautiful, cool place to stay and rest. My friend Jaime described it as delightful; Kim's word was "money." : ) I agree with both. It was definitely a treat!

So what did we do? Almost nothing but rest! The guesthouse had a open restaurant (kind of like on a covered deck) that overlooked the river with low tables and Thai cushions to lounge on. We arrived on Saturday mid-day, ate lunch, then read books at the restaurant until we fell asleep. Upon waking we read more, talking at intervals while sipping on mango lassies or other fruit drinks. Later we went on a walk around town and ended the day with facials and massages.

[While reading over this before clicking the "publish post" button, the thought occured to me how insanely crazy it is that I'm able to enjoy all these things and even be here! 3 years ago I probably wouldn't in my wildest imagination have pictured teaching overseas like this. As Joanna said - somewhat bitterly : ) - "I'm really suffering for the Lord here in Thailand!" Not that everything here is this easy, but it is a blessing.]

Sunday was also wonderful. We all rented bikes (for $1 a day!) and went riding around the countryside - right through the most beautiful green farmland and fields while gazing at the mountains surrounding them. It all reminded me of the bike rides I used to go on in Huntsville through Jones Valley, looking up at Monte Sano or Green Mountain - except everything had a tropical and Asian feel to it. Even the cows looked Asian! : ) It was so wonderful to breathe in that fresh air and take in such beauty while riding!

Also a blessing was the rich fellowship I was able to share with my friends. God has provided community for me ever since my arrival in Thailand a year ago, but I feel like more recently I've been develop those friendships on a deeper level. Each of the girls I went on this trip with (Kristi, Jaime and Kim) are so beautiful and amazing! They all love Jesus so much, have a heart for the nations that really challenges me. And they are so open and honest - very real - so much so that talking to them about just about anything ends up leaving me with a greater appreciation for the gospel. Not to mention the fact that they are very funny, love to travel and share many other common interests we me. I feel so blessed and loved by God!

First days of school

2007-08-16T06:37:00.000-07:00

We have now completed two days of school and I am very tired but very happy. It's been a push to get everything together for the start of school and I still have so much to do! It was also a jolt to get up at 5:15 again and work long days, but all in all it's good to be back and so fun to see my students again! Again, I'm blown away by the difference between this year and the last - it's like night and day. At Open House I was completely at rest, knew exactly where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do (which is the opposite of last year!) and was all smiles as I saw my students for the first time in months. Now I know their names! And I can greet them in the walkways and carry on conversations with them! And I'm not nearly so scared or nervous or insecure. Praise God!

The first few classes I've had have gone fine so far. Seeing the students is the most exciting part - the classes themselves have been mainly beginning of the year "business." One of the biggest delights of the past few days has been seeing my last year's beginning strings class. I love those students so much and they hold a special place in my heart, partially because they're just an incredibly sweet class but also I think because I started them on their instruments and they love playing so much. I feel like they're my little chicks that I hatched and I just want to put my wings around them and hold them close. Silly, I know, considering that they're 6th Graders now, but it brings me so much joy to have them come up to me and ask me questions about strings this year. "Miss Catherine, can we still play violin in 6th Grade?" "Miss Catherine..." It's really sweet. Today was the first day they brought their instruments and they had them out and were playing in little groups around the room long before I had finished all my "business" stuff. Oh, and one student in particular made my day when he said, "I've been practicing all summer! One hour every two days!" I think it's going to be another good year with that class. I'll have them for a longer amount of time each week and all but 4 are continuing to be in strings (last year instrumental music was required for them; this year it's an option).

God answered my prayers about my 7th Grade string class too. It is a rather long and involved story but the end result is that I will be able to teach them and I'll have a smaller but hopefully more dedicated group this year, which I'm looking forward to.

All that to say, God is continuing to answer my prayers and bless me in numerous ways each day. Hallelujah!

Nightmares

2007-08-13T06:35:00.000-07:00

My Pinewood students will appreciate this...

Last Saturday night I had my first teacher nightmare of the year. Guess I was more stressed than I thought! I dreamed that on the first day of school I went to the Secondary band room to meet with all of the Middle Schoolers and try to work out my 6th and 7th Grade string classes and ended up spending the whole day there. Then right as the school day was ending, I realized that there were 4 younger Elementary classes that I was supposed to have been teaching all day and I panicked, thinking about those classroom teachers arriving with all of their new students at my door and me not being there and them having to keep them for the whole period! I woke up with the thought "we've only had one day of school and I've failed! I ruined the whole year!"

Come to find out today that my friend Jaime also had a nightmare last night. She dreamed that she slept an entire 24 hour day in addition to her normal night's sleep and woke up on Tuesday morning - the morning of Open House - having missed this whole day (today was a holiday with no teacher's meetings because of the Queen's Birthday) in which she intended to work all day and finish getting ready for school to start!

Well, the school year's definitely right around the corner! On our holiday today I put in at least 8 hours in my classroom and I still don't feel nearly ready. I had a super panic/stress hour this afternoon, which I think was due to a combination of having more to do than I realized and drinking an caramel iced cappuccino a few hours before (Thais put SO MUCH caffeine in their coffee - I had kind of decided last year not to get coffee off the street anymore because of it but then forgot how it affected me and tried it again today. Now I remember!) God was gracious though and helped me calm down later and be at peace enough to leave school at 8:15 this evening. Hopefully He'll also protect me from more bad dreams tonight! : )

Joy

2007-08-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

As I sat just now pondering as to how to start this post, the words "my cup overflows" passed through my mind. Truly the Lord is my Shepherd and has not allowed me to be "in want" in the last 2 weeks since I last wrote. I have been filled with such joy and excitement on my return to Bangkok this time - so much so that I keep thinking about how strange it is that I would be so happy and I wonder if this is a fluke or something and if soon I'll be struggling again! But for many days now I've just been thrilled to return to this "second home" and be starting a new school year. It's been so fun to reconnect with my friends and church family - last week at church I was almost giddy to see everyone again! I'm enjoying my new apartment immensely (I'll post pictures as soon as I finished getting it all set up) - I like not being on campus and being surrounded by "green" so much more than I thought I would. And I've been amazed all over again at the hospitality and closeness of the community God has given me here. In 2 weeks I've hardly eaten a meal alone! God has poured out His love and provision for me through so many here.

It's been good - and actually not too stressful yet - getting back to school/work. I'm excited about some new items in my classroom (the biggest of which is a piano!!! It's so nice to have a "real" piano to myself now!) and also been excited about different ideas I have about things I want to teach my students this year. But the greatest part about this year so far is that I'm not a first-year teacher (at ICS) anymore!!!. The difference is unbelievable! So many things that caused me tremendous stress and confusion last year are not even issues this year. It's SO GOOD to come back to a classroom, school, co-workers, students and city that I'm familiar with and know how to function in. Not that there's not plenty more to learn or grow in, but everything's not new anymore. I coming to see all over again why people stay in jobs for more than one year.

Another blessing has been my times with the Lord. I've had a little more time in the mornings to spend in prayer and Bible-reading and God has been so good to meet me there at those times. While I haven't been as stressed or afraid (yet!) of this school year, I have been very sobered by my need for God's direction and help and wisdom as I plan out the next year. I feel like God has put me in a good place of dependence on Him. It seems like every need is being met in His presence. All glory be to my Shepherd!

Distance of Power

2007-08-03T04:27:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I had a most fascinating conversation with one of my good friends and prayer partners at ICS - the kind of conversation during which I wished I had been taking notes! Kristi has been going to grad school over the last couple of summers through a program offered here sort of at/through the school and is now starting her thesis. Her thesis concerns cultural impacts on students' motivation (intrinsic/extrinsic) and our conversation started there but branched off to many cultural differences between Asian countries (Thailand specifically) and Western countries (America) that she discussed in various classes this summer and that we both have observed. I hesitate to even write about these things because I didn't take notes (much less the class!), but I found one thing we talked about very interesting, especially after having a direct application of it a few hours later...

"Distance of Power" she said is one of the 4 marks/distinctions of a culture (?! I forget the term she used!)(all 4 of which Thailand and American cultures are on opposite extremes - no WONDER we experience culture shock in coming here!!) - meaning the way or extent to which cultures view distinctions between people in different positions of authority or socio-economic status. In the US (many would disagree with me here, I'm sure) everyone is pretty much treated equally, no matter what their job, socio-economic status or race is. Not so in Thailand. And I feel it often.

This morning in one of our meetings, a teacher made the comment that we need to make sure we talk to and show appreciation for our Thai custodial staff. While our headmaster definitely agreed, he also pointed out that we need to be careful because sometimes it's actually more embarrassing for them than honoring because it's so out of the norm, unexpected and not Thai. As Americans, of course, it's our way of showing love and treating them "equally" but it may not come across as "love" to them.

I feel this "distance of power" most keenly on the bus. Riding the bus appears to be something only Thais do here based on the fact that I'm usually the only farong riding every time I get on - that and the fact that if I'm alone at the bus stop, I usually end up standing there for 15+ minutes trying to wave down bus after bus and only taxis end up stopping, but as soon as another Thai comes and stands beside me, the busses stop for him/her! Well, this evening I took the bus back to my apartment after doing a little errand running and the whole time I was on, I was watching carefully for my stop (a bit harder to see in the dark). I moved towards the door a little early, so as to be ready, but did not ring the bell. The entire time I was on the bus, I could sense the bus driver and fare-taker-upper (I have no idea what that person's title is! : ) watching out for me, along with several surrounding, well-meaning passengers. I don't know if it's because they're particularly kind or if I just look particularly clueless (probably a combination of both), but they seemed to want to make sure I got to where I needed to go. So as soon as I made a move for the door, the bus driver pulled over at the next stop and actually came to a complete stop (something they rarely to for fellow Thais). I felt embarrassed at the attention and sorry for the inconvenience I apparently caused by accidentally communicating that I wanted him to stop there. When I said "mai pen rai" and that I didn't want that stop, they asked where I wasgoing and made sure I got there safely, again coming to a complete stop at my soi.

I came away from that whole incident feeling bad, unduly honored and humbled at the same time. I feel like I'm on a different plane than most of the Thais around me and while at times the attention or special treatment is nice, I'm not sure that's what I want. And the American in me would go so far as to say that it's wrong and unjust and not the way things should be. But wait a minute - I was taught in all my "pre-field" culture shock training sessions that differences in culture are not wrong, but just that: different. How does God want me to view this difference?

A week later (I'm writing this in two sessions), I find that God has given some insight in answer to that question. I've been reading through the Westminster Confession during my quiet time the last few weeks and I got to Chapter 7 last Sunday: God's Covenant with Man. It starts out...

"The distance between God and the creature is so great that, even though rational creatures are responsible to obey Him as their Creator, yet they could never experience any enjoyment of Him as their blessing and reward except by way of some voluntary condescension on His part, which He has been pleased to express by way of covenant."

The distance between God and the creature...the distance of power. Wow. All of the sudden I saw it - what God is revealing to mankind through this facet of the Thai culture: the great distance between our Creator God and us. God's greatness and power and "unapproachableness" in contrast with my lowly, humble state makes so much sense here as I see the King of Thailand in all his grandeur and honor. Our God is not a "Mr. President" - a regular man like us who was chosen by the will of the people and will govern with many restrictions for a short term. Not that the King of Thailand has absolute power either, but he certainly was not chosen and before many of the younger generation were even alive, he was reigning. And unless God intervenes, one of his descendants will continue to reign after him. I know this is very basic and not at all exclusive to Thailand, but the "felt" honor and preference of certain people above others - even to the extent that certain ones don't feel worthy to be around or have a casual, friendship with certain others - gives me a picture of the distance between my King and me and shows me how presumptuous I am to assume I can casually waltz into His presence, acting like I belong there. Apart from His initiation of a covenant with me through His Son, I could never know Him at all. What a preparation for worship last Sunday!

Back in Bangkok

2007-07-30T23:24:00.000-07:00

Once again I have felt strongly the prayers of others on my behalf - especially regarding the return flight to Bangkok and God giving grace in leaving home yet again. I (and all my luggage) not only arrived safely and on time last night, but God granted a few special gifts along the way. The first was an unusually under-booked flight for the 13 hour, Chicago to Tokyo leg of the trip. I was sitting in the middle aisle and there were 3 empty seats between me and the man at the end of the row. I stretched out on two of them, he on three, and I was able to sit and sleep relatively comfortably during that flight. What a blessing! However, upon arriving in Tokyo, I was mentally and physically "through" with traveling and had no idea how I was going to make it through the next 3 hours of layover and 6 hour flight (this trip seemed longer and more boring/lonely than past flights). God knew how I felt and gave me a big surprise in Tokyo! As I was exiting one airplane, I saw Emily, a friend and teacher at ICS, ahead of me - apparently she had been on the same flight and I didn't know it! I caught up with her while she was looking up a flight of our other friend, Jen, who was supposed to be flying out of Tokyo at the same time we were. We went to the other concourse in search of Jen and ended up running into 2 other ICS teachers! How fun it was to see all of them and catch up briefly - not to mention it made the layover "fly" by (pun intended!). The 3 other girls where on one Tokyo-Bangkok flight and Emily and I were on another. Although I was not seated beside her, it was nice to have someone to travel with and when we arrived in Bangkok 6 hours later, another teacher was there to pick her up (which she had arranged previously), so I was able to also ride with them back to my apartment, instead of traveling by taxi alone. Seeing familiar faces was a blessing for all of us, I think, as we were all a bit emotional about leaving home. I continued to be amazed at the Lord knowing and meeting even my smallest needs.

Please continue praying for me in the upcoming weeks, though. I told Carol Wilkening a few weeks ago that I've discovered that I am typically happiest wherever I am, which is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing for obvious reasons, but a curse because it makes leaving that place of happiness very painful. The weeks before leaving a place (especially home) are usually filled with dread, panic and tears (which I experienced off and on the last few weeks) and the weeks following in the new place are also very hard and emotional as I adjust and the "felt" separation is very real. God has given me so many gifts in Bangkok, I know I'll grow to be content here once again in a few weeks or months, it's just this in between time that's so hard. Thank you for lifting me up before the Father!

At the beach

2007-07-19T07:34:00.000-07:00

My last two weeks in the States are being spent vacationing at the beach: first with my immediate family (excepting Jason, who will come later) in St. Augustine, then with my extended family on my mom's side in Myrtle Beach, SC. 4 days now into the first week, I can definitely say that I am LOVIN' this beach life! Days where my hardest decisions consist of what book I'm going to read (I'm rotating through 3 at the moment), what game to play and with whom, and whether I should swim in the ocean or the pool. The resting and lack of schedule has been super refreshing and it has been so fun having our whole family in the same place for meals and play. So many laughs and good conversations and fun memories!

Special

2007-07-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Sunday, my last Sunday at Pinewood for the summer before returning to Bangkok, was a very special one for a number of reasons. God granted several precious gifts in terms of my church family - playing beautiful, almost "blue-grassy" type music with my string trio collegues, Warren and Rick, and a cello/piano offeratory with our wonderful accompanist, Susan. Also in terms of my sweet students and children's choir kids - of which 3 of my favorite girls presented me with a beautiful "music" quilt after the service that they had purchased with their own funds at the missions auction! I was so honored by their gift and generosity.

It was also a special time for our family, my older sister and her children just having arrived in FL late the night before, we were all there to worship together. Joanna pointed out after the service that it's probably been years, if ever, that Mom and Dad have sat together on the same pew with all 5 of their children (for the sermon at least!) - of course, part of the reason for that is that it takes a long pew for us to all fit! But it was an unusual treat. And I was blessed by having my seven-year-old nephew sitting next to me during the sermon. Each time I see my nephews and niece, I am struck anew by what an amazing job my sister is doing in raising them to know the Lord and His word. During the sermon, Joanna helped Gabriel find the sermon passage in a Bible, which he read quietly as Pastor Phil read out loud. Then when our pastor asked us to turn to another passage, Gabe found it on his own (1 Cor.) and read along again, after which he sat quietly during the remainder of the sermon. It's so neat to see him growing, not only in his reading abilities but also his knowledge of the Bible.

Sweet

2007-07-12T19:13:00.001-07:00

I've been getting a little emotional about leaving home again in a few weeks and last night I came home from a string rehearsal at Pinewood crying. Only the boys were home for the evening and Clint saw me crying when he opened the door. He made a face like "Uh-oh - better not say anything!" and went back to playing Gamecube with Will. After I had calmed down and wiped my tears, I went to fix myself dinner and called to the boys in the other room...

"Would you guys like to play a game with me?" Something between a grunt and "I dunno" came from the den. So I pushed a little further: "We could play Yahtzee...Monopoly...RummyKub...Taboo..." No response. A few minutes later I said in a somewhat shaky voice, "Um...if you guys don't play a game with me, I'm probably going to cry again" (which was true; I was not trying to be manipulative!).

Immediately both brothers paused their video game and said "We'll play Monopoly!" They hopped up and hurried into the kitchen. Clint gave me a hug while Will set up the game. I was touched. : ) We had a super fun, goofy evening together!

Lest I give the impression, however, that my brothers are all sweetness...

Today I was exercising in the den, lifting weights, etc. and Clint walks up with a big grin, pats me on my tummy and says, "Trying to work-off your belly fat?" After a shocked and slighty hurt gasp, I proceeded to give the old "Don't you EVER say that to your girl-friend (or she'll dump you) or your wife (or you'll be sleeping on the couch)" lecture. A few minutes later Will came in and I shared what Clint had said, hoping for some sympathy (Will is generally more encouraging). Will shrugged his shoulders, smiled a "positive" (otherwise encouraging) smile and said, "Well, you're on the right track!" Sigh...

Awesome God testimonies

2007-06-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

I am getting ready to send off a package of thank you notes that my students wrote to Bob Kauflin and Sovereign Grace Ministries to show their appreciation for the Awesome God CDs he/they graciously donated. What a neat testimony they are! I wanted to share a few...

"Thank you for the CDs. My whole family loved it. I listen to the CD all the time! Sometimes when I am afraid I turn the radio on and listen to the CD...."

"I love your CD! My sister once told me to be quiet, but now when I let her listen to the song, she sings and sings! Thank you!"

"Thank u 4 the awesome CD. My favorite song is 'Almighty Creator.' I also made up a motions too! It is my favorite because I understand the song. I memorized it! I understand a lot of things!"

"Thank you for sending us an Awesome God CD. In the CD, my favorite song was 'Mighty, Mighty Savior.' I like it, because I know God is very powerful and strong, also a genious. When I was listening to the CD, I understood more about how Jesus was like. Thank you once again for the great CD!"

"Thank you so much for sending us cd's....I think all the songs on the cd were wonderful. But, if I had to chose one of them, I would say I like 'For You Are Holy' and 'Sovereign One' the most. They both have relaxing tunes and they make me really want to focus on God. When I listen to this cd I feel calmed. Every time I listen to it I feel like I am getting closer and closer to God. I am so thankful that you gave us these cd's. Thank you."

How wonderful to think that even while we are on summer break, these students - and their families! - are able to listen to words about Christ and learn about who He is and be comforted by His love and promises! So neat to see God at work in them! Thank you Sovereign Grace!

Interesting day

2007-06-06T00:56:00.000-07:00

Today I learned that being sick is probably 10 times more bearable in air conditioning than in heat!

Last night the air conditioner unit in my lovely new apartment stopped working right before bed. I was super tired, so I just glanced at couple things before determining that it was beyond my know-how to figure out what was wrong. I turned on my little floor fan and went to sleep thinking, "Thais live without AC all the time, surely I can for at least a night." Well, I'm not Thai. At some point in the middle of the night I contracted a terrible headache and I woke up to my alarm feeling super nauseas. I took some medicine and planned to go to school as usual, maybe just a few minutes late (my first class was canceled today anyway). Long story short, I never went to school because I never felt better. I spent the entire morning and early afternoon lying on my bed with the fan blowing directly on me, sleeping in between quick runs to the bathroom which I was sure would result in vomiting (only 3 did). I can't figure out if the heat actually caused the headache or not, but my headaches rarely last that long, so I'm going to assume that laying around in a 95+ degree apartment did not help matters much.

In the midst of this, I called my landlord to get the air conditioning fixed. Between today and yesterday's 3-hour process of calling her and several other Thais who I couldn't understand to get the internet in my apartment set up (talk about a "cultural moment"! In fact, the headache could have been the result of all that built up stress and frustration!) I've gotten a lot of experience calling her recently! She sent a technician to come and work on it this afternoon. Praise the Lord: within an hour or so, he had it fixed and I am already beginning to feel a little better. Wow - so many things I've never had to do by myself before! Makes me miss my Dad and wish I didn't have to be an adult and on my own now. : (

My Bangkok family and new apartment

2007-06-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like God has lavished His goodness on me this past week. As my first year in Bangkok comes to a close, he has been showing me not just His provision of sustaining grace in the past few crazy weeks, but also how He's provided for my needs all year. This all came to a climax in my move to a new apartment last Thursday. The way He brought about this move was replete with evidences of His love to me.

First of all, I guess I better explain. This past year I've been living on campus in apartments designed to make the transition for new teachers moving to Bangkok easier. It did just that and I am so grateful that God provided so much right away through the generosity of ICS. I was able to focus on work from the beginning without having to worry a whole lot about setting up home in a foreign country. Some new teachers moved out of those apartments within a few months when they found a place, but most of us were actually content to stay as long as we could because they were/are very convenient and nice apartments. But with a whole new crew of new teachers coming in next year, we were kind of encouraged (asked!) to find a new place to live before the end of the school year.

God very clearly led me to an available apartment in the large, very nice apartment complex next to the school (where many of the teachers and students at ICS live). This apartment is actually in building that I had hoped and prayed to live in - because it has probably the best views of all the buildings! - and it is the size and price I was looking for. It is a small studio apartment - perhaps even smaller than my other one, but everyone who has been here has said that it feels more open because of how it's set up. It is fully furnished (except for a kitchen table) and even has a washing machine! The furniture is pretty quirky - with a bright blue refridgerator and everything else being either different colors of wood or different shades of blue (nothing matches) but it's actually kind of fun and I've arranged it in a quirky kind of way! But the best part is, it is on the 8th floor (these apartments have elevators!) and has a balcony with sliding glass doors and another large window. The windows open towards the morning sun (I love bright sun in the mornings!) and look out across a huge green field, with the city in the background (and no other apartment buildings or parking garages in my immediate line of vision!). I have been leaving my curtains open all day and night and am constantly looking outside! I have a little longer walk to school in the mornings, but half of it is on a winding sidewalk through the park-like grounds of the aparment complex, with trees and green grass on either side, flowers, benches, a pond and even gazebo! It makes me feel like I have a yard again! It is so beautiful and life-giving to me! God has been so good to meet my needs and answer the desires of my heart!

Another huge way God has shown His love to me is through the love of the MTW team in serving and caring for me these last few weeks. Soon after I had found the apartment and scheduled a meeting with the landlord, I shared with Crystal about everything and she asked if I needed anyone to come with me to the meeting. I had been asking advice about what to ask the landlord, but it hadn't occurred to me to invite anyone to join me. Crystal rearranged her whole schedule and care of her children to come with me that Sunday afternoon and I am SO GLAD she did! My new landlord is Thai and understands a fair amount of English, but not nearly enough to answer my many questions. Crystal was able to translate and advise while we looked at everything and I felt so much more at peace when she said it seemed like a good deal and that she also had peace about it. Later, Paul volunteered to let me use his truck to move my stuff (Paul and Crystal always give so freely as they serve others with their vehicles and home!) and help me move. Last Thursday (which was a school holiday), he and Dave and James, Katy and Jonathan all came to help me move - volunteering before I could even ask for help! And I couldn't believe it, with all of them helping, I was out of one apartment and into another in less than 1 and 1/2 hours time! (It would have taken me a few days and dozens of walking-trips to get it all over there alone!) At the new apartment, Dave looked over my Thai lease and talked to my landlord again, reaffirming that I was doing the right thing. Then Katy stayed for a few more hours that afternoon to help me rearrange my quirky furniture and unpack some of my stuff. Later that evening, I went out to celebrate Yu's, Kieow's and my birthdays with the women on the team (eating at an incredible Mexican place, then having ice cream cake and watching a movie at the "girl's" apartment). The whole day made me feel so loved, so humbled and yet so honored, and so protected and cared for - I honestly felt like I had a family here in Bangkok that was caring for me in the same ways my family would have had I been at home. God is so good!

Awesome!

2007-05-27T06:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was told that 6 of the girls and one boy from Maahathai prayed to receive Christ at Thai worship this afternoon!! They were all given Bibles and the Thai staff is going to start discipling them next week. Wow! What an incredible work of God for Him to draw these children/teenagers to Himself - so exciting to be here watching it happen!

weary

2007-05-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

I taught this memory verse in Good News Club last week and it’s been on my mind ever since, convicting me as I truly feel like giving up. I am so weary. So ready for the school year to be over. When Dad left almost 2 weeks ago, I looked at the calendar and thought, “We hardly have any time left – only 4 weeks left of school!” At that time it seemed like there was so much to do in so little time, I figured the time would just fly by. Now that there are 2 weeks left, it feels like FOREVER! The days are super full, with barely a moment to “sit” but they seem to drag by in a sense and all I can think of is how much I want to be home.

Unfortunately, I feel like this is beginning to affect my attitude toward my students. This week I’ve been getting frustrated and impatient with them for almost no reason except that I’m so tired of being responsible for large groups of children (that and I’m so tired of getting up at 5:30 every morning and “going” all day.) I also feel like I’m losing my vision of why I’m here or my desire to share Christ with these kids. Again, I just want to go home. So I’ve had to pray frequently that the Lord would help me treasure this time with them and the other teachers and people I work with in Bangkok (many of whom will not be returning next year) and that He would help me seize every opportunity to share the gospel with them before the school year ends. Please pray that I’ll press on.

On the positive side, things are winding down: last Monday was my last cello lesson of the year and last Tuesday was the last Good New Club and my last Bible study meeting. Tomorrow I have a concert at Prong Jai (the smaller campus) and next Wednesday we have our 5th grade beginning band/strings concert, then I’ll be finished with concerts. Grades are due and will somehow get done by Wednesday as well. Thursday I move to a different apartment. Other parts of my school year and life are closing down. The week ahead will be especially crazy, but by the time the last week of school rolls around, I can hopefully finish packing for home and enjoy a week of class parties and end-of-the-year (and Catherine’s 26th Birthday!) celebrations. Then I’ll be on that plane headed back for the States! My flight leaves early on the 9th of June, at which point I’ll fly to Arizona for a few days to visit with Laurel and Brian (and Aline!) in Yuma and Amanda in Phoenix. I will get back to Jacksonville late on Wednesday 13th and will be home (or in the vicinity of home!) until the end of July. I cannot wait to be there and to rest with my family!

In answer to my prayers!

2007-04-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I mentioned that God has been working in some of the students hearts through the music we sing in chapel. I am quite overwhelmed right now by the things that are happening and hopefully will happen on that end - I just had to share!

I have actually only been leading music for the upper Elementary chapels (3rd-5th grades; two other teachers wanted to lead it for the younger students) and I share role that with Scott, one of the 5th grade teachers. We do it a little differently than the way I led at Pinewood's younger chapels (for many reasons) but one thing I've been able to introduce to the students here are the songs from Sovereign Grace Ministries' Awesome God CD. We used most of the songs from this CD last year at Pinewood when we taught on the attributes of God. This is one of the richest collections of children's music I've ever heard: each song takes a different attribute and explains it in ways everyone (even young children) can understand. The music is also great. In short, I love it and so does just about everyone I've introduced it to! : ) The thing that excites me most, though, is that these great truths of the gospel are filling all of our heads. If God brings them to the children's minds 1/2 as much as He has to my mind, they will be regularly comforted by the gospel and who He is!

But back to ICS specifically... A few months ago, Shawna (another 5th grade teacher and friend of mine) approached me, asking where she could get a copy of the music we've been singing in chapel. She told me that one of her students really loved the music and wrote about it on her "chapel response sheet" after every chapel. Shawna had told me before the she had become a Christian herself by listening to recordings of worship music and she told me that she saw that same heart in this student. When Shawna said that she thought this girl would probably come to Christ through music, I told I'd get her a copy of the CD. I quickly downloaded it from itunes, burned a CD and gave it to her.

Later I heard another testimony from Scott: he had a student tell him at the beginning of the year that he and his family loved reading the Bible. Scott, surprised, said, “I didn’t know your family were Christians!” The boy replied, “We’re not, but we love reading the Bible because it is true. It’s just so hard to understand!” It turns out that this ESL student was reading an old King James version of the Bible, so Scott quickly got him another simpler translation for his family to read. A few months later, the boy again approached Scott, saying that he really liked the songs we’d been singing in chapel. Scott let him borrow a copy of “Awesome God” to listen to at home. Just recently the boy and his mother came to school saying, “Mr. Scott, we’ve got to talk to you! We want to become Christians!”

As these teachers were sharing these stories with me, I wished so much that somehow all the upper Elementary students had the opportunity to listen to this music at home. The wheels in my head started turning, trying to think of how I could possibly buy (or raise support to buy) enough CDs for the students (there are a LOT!) and I began praying that God might make that possible. A few days later I discussed it with my Dad, thinking that perhaps I could write a letter to the music ministry at Pinewood asking if anyone might want to give to the students in this way. Dad gave his approval, but suggested I first write Sovereign Grace to see if they might be willing to give a discount for buying CDs in bulk or might be willing to donate a few CDs. He also strongly encouraged me to share with them all that God is doing through their music.
I had never done anything like that before and was a little intimidated (Bob Kauflin, the head of the music team at Sovereign Grace and the composer/author of so much of the music they've put out is the equivalent of a movie star to me in terms of how I revere Him!), but after more prayer, I did write to him sharing the many ways God has used his music in my life personally, as well as what He has been doing in the students' lives.

I was amazed when, not 2 days later, he wrote me back, asking how many CDs we needed and telling me he would see what they could do. After several emails back and forth, I received one last Friday saying that 60 CDs were on their way to Dad, who will bring them with him when he comes in May with the team from Pinewood. I was so overwhelmed that I started crying after I read it! Overwhelmed by his generosity; overwhelmed with hopes and dreams of how God may further use this music in the students' lives and families as it is played in their homes and becomes written on their minds. Praise God for the great things He has done!

The following is one song from Awesome God that has been on my mind (and playing on my ipod) so much the last few weeks while I've been praying about this:

Have You Heard?

Have you heard about Jesus? Do you know who He is?
He's the very Son of God, He's the King of Kings.
Have you heard of the gospel? Do you know what it is?
It tells us Jesus died for us to save us from our sins.

(Chorus) This is the best news that we could ever hear;
More than amazing, it drives out every fear.
By trusting in Jesus Christ and His saving sacrifice
We can be made new, we can be made new.

Have you heard of the promise God has made to us all?
That if we turn from our sinful ways and put our faith in His love.
He will freely forgive us, He will wash us clean
And when we stand before His throne He will shout, "Welcome in!"

In answer to my mom's prayers...

2007-04-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took my sister back to the airport and said goodbye. The rest of the day I was crying off and on and just felt so homesick. It's really made me wonder again why I'm here and if it's all worth it.

My good friend Amber, one of the 1st grade teachers, saw my sadness and to encourage me, handed me a "report" that one of her students wrote. In answer to the question "What have you learned about God this year?" he/she (not sure who it is yet!) wrote the following (I'm leaving it unedited : )...

Wath Song Did I Know About God
I know alot of song about God. I know the song Not thing but the blood of Jeuse. I know the song Our God Is The Great Big God. I know the song Silent Nigth. I know the song Tell Me The Story of Jeuse. Wath song did you know about God?

3 of the 4 songs listed are ones I've taught in music class. In a way, the "report" doesn't say a whole lot, but in another way, this child now knows - has probably hidden in his heart - words that tell of Jesus birth, life, death and resurrection. And words of His atoning work on the cross. Whether he understands it or not is questionable, but it's there and God promises that His word (and I'm sure words about His word) will not return void. I was encouraged.

Also encouraging were some "musical" developments I saw yesterday and today:

~ almost all my 1st graders matched the pitch I sang to them individually (I changed it for each child) and almost all did the rhythmic dictation I gave them correctly (4-beat measures using quarter notes and rests and eighth notes)
~ my 2nd graders could read/clap/speak (in rhythm syllables) rhythms including tied quarter notes and half notes
~ my 3rd and 4th graders could name and read the notes on the treble clef staff and were playing harmony! Many were able to play a duet in pairs and actually practiced went I sent them to other parts of the room (or to other rooms)
~ my 5th grade string students played together, have pretty good intonation and overall are sounding great!
~ one of my 6th grade students came back from spring break and told me "I practiced a LOT! And I can play the first page of "Sourwood Mountain" perfectly!" Most of that class sounded like they had practiced as well over the break (which was a pleasant and true surprise!) and I saw a lot of improvement.

Again, little things but they encourage me...

Friday's chapel

2007-03-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Quick update for all my wonderful readers who pray!!

Last Friday's chapel went very well. It's hard to know the outcome of the gospel that was shared, but it was shared, with lots of Scripture in the message, and the students seemed to listen a lot better than they typically do (usually there's a lot more talking between music and memory verse and teaching, etc., something that frustrates me a bit and really makes me miss Pinewood's chapels!!). The music also went very well and I think the closing song ("The Gospel Song") was very powerful. The music seems to be impacting the lives of the students, which is something I hope to elaborate on soon. Thank you for praying for that morning!

Also, I think I've seen ONE mosquito in my apartment this entire week!! And that was only this morning. They have mostly left and I have been sleeping very well.

As we used to say when I did CEF, you must be righteous because God answers your prayers! (James 5:16b)

Team Maahathai : )

2007-03-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

Ren, Dave, Me and Dang

And where we meet...

More of Maahathai...

2007-03-24T06:10:00.000-07:00

Maahathai

2007-03-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

I think I'm falling in love. Dave warned me repeatedly that it would happen - "these kids will steal your heart if you keep coming," he said - and they are! They are keeping me up at night (mainly because I'm too excited to fall asleep after I see them!), making me smile ear to ear while simultaneously causing my heart to ache and are filling my prayers and thoughts. In many ways they are giving me a fresh vision and purpose for being in Thailand. Yes, they are slowly "stealing" my heart.

3 weeks ago, after sensing God speaking to me all week regarding mercy ministry (from many different places: music I was listening to, the book I was reading, my Bible studying of the week) and the importance He places on it in His Word, I called up Dave (Veldhorst, MTW team leader and my pastor) and asked if I go with him to the Maahathai neighborhood the next day for one of their weekly visits. The team has been working in the "Maahathai 3" neighborhood/slum (Dave prefers to call it a "community") for almost a year now, ever since Halley (an MTW intern last year) researched opportunities for mercy ministry in the area and got her foot in the door. I really didn't know what to expect in going - and I really didn't think I would be of any use to their work there due to the fact that I know so little Thai - but I really felt God encouraging me to go. Within the first hour of being with those children, I knew that was where I needed to be every Saturday afternoon - for them and for me. They are some of the sweetest children I've ever met. Upon arrival, they all rushed out to the taxi and greeted us with a wai and curtsey. They helped set up chairs and everything in the little building we use as a meeting place and were so grateful for any thing given to them (a small prize for answering a question, a yogurt drink/snack, even a pencil to use for the lesson!). And - my favorite thing! - they are so hungry for love that they quickly embraced us and even touched me, nestling close and holding my hand. My heart didn't stand a chance! : )

And - praise God! - He had/has a job for me there and showed me a need that I could meet! Dave asked me to lead English songs and then later (after the Thai songs and Bible lesson, a game and snack) I taught the older kids their English lesson. It meets a need, I think, because the other two people who go with us, Ren and Dang (who are both SO much fun!! They are Thai interns from the Bangkok Bible College and Seminary), don't know English very well, so I can provide correct pronunciations of English words and explanations of English grammar. This also, I think, frees Dave up to go and visit with the adults and walk around the neighborhood while we work with the kids. So I think I've actually been able to bless these children, even as they bless me so much.

It's just so much fun too! Who would have ever thought that being with them would be one of the main highlights of my week?! They make me so excited about what God is doing here and cause me to dream about my involvement in it!

Today I brought my camera to Maahathai. I actually didn't have it long as Fern borrowed it for most of the time to take pictures of everyone. She took some good ones too. Here are some portraits of the kids who rock my world...

"Chang"

2007-03-24T05:31:00.000-07:00

What I saw on my soi (street) tonight as I walked back from the bus stop:

please pray!

2007-03-15T08:28:00.000-07:00

The question I receive most often (and I think my parents receive on my behalf) is “How are the mosquitoes?” I must write about that a lot! So a quick update: they come and go (as do my restful nights) but overall have been much better since I last wrote. I have tried a few other “strategies” (such as pouring bleach down the drains – I have now definitely confirmed that as the place they are coming from), but I truly believe that that isn’t the reason for the recent relief. It is from YOU praying! After I wrote my story of woe, many of you must have prayed and God hears and answers your prayers on my behalf. I’ve been amazed at this power of prayer - which has caused me to ask myself – why don’t I ask people at home to pray for me more often and about far more important things than relief from mosquito bites?!

So I write with another prayer request: please pray for our chapel tomorrow morning (Friday, March 16th at 7:15). It is “Upper Elementary” (Grades 3-5) chapel week and our theme for the year for the Upper Elementary chapels has kind of been an apologetic one, attempting to answer their questions about who Jesus is, how we can know the Bible is true, why evil things happen if God is good (Dave Veldhorst was actually a guest speaker for that chapel; I recruited him and he did an incredible job unpacking that difficult issue and making it understandable to children), etc. After each chapel message, we pass out sheets of paper for the students to write down questions they have and twice this year so far we’ve had a whole chapel dedicated to answering those questions. They have many and they are not always easy to answer! Tomorrow is what you might call the climax of the year and one of the teachers will be presenting the gospel. This chapel and its potential impact on the students’ lives has been heavy on my heart the last few days. Please pray that the message will be understandable to the students and that they will find and put their hope in Jesus Christ alone. Our songs for the day go right along with the message and I’ve spent a lot more time practicing them this week too: “Nothing But the Blood” (with a few “guest” 4th grade recorder players accompanying!), “Mighty, Mighty Savior” (from Awesome God) and “The Gospel Song” (also from Awesome God and/or Sovereign Grace ministries – this one I’m particularly nervous about because I’m going to attempt to pick instead of strum my guitar, which is something I’m just figuring out how to do!!). Some of the students are miming a very powerful sort of drama during the “Gospel Song”. Please pray that it will be worshipful and will stick in their heads.

Another thing that’s been heavy on my heart: please pray for the students at Prong Jai. There are 65 students at this smaller campus where I teach once a week and I’ve been realizing recently how much more spiritual oppression they are (or seem to be) under there. Last night in the middle of the night I woke up to mosquitoes buzzing in my ear and eating my skin. In my frustration, I ½ complained, ½ wondered why it seems that I often have trouble sleeping on Wednesday nights before I go to that campus. Of all nights, it’s the one night of the week that I want to get the most rest because I have to get up and leave so early in the morning. Often on Thursdays I end up really tired. (That’s also been the afternoon I’ve been meeting with Katy.) Then in my sleepiness, I began to wonder if this were not spiritual warfare and then to sense the need to pray for those students at Prong Jai. So I got out of my bed, out from under the mosquito net and onto my knees and prayed for each child by name (most – a few I couldn’t remember!) and for their teachers. As I prayed for the teachers, I thought of how my friends at Prong Jai seem to be up against so many more (and greater) spiritual battles – with students and in their personal lives – than it appears most teachers are at the larger campus. When I went to school this morning, I was reminded of why…

As we neared the campus in our taxi, I saw a woman who was passed out on the sidewalk, with a man leaning over her. I was super concerned and wanted to stop and help her and make sure she was not seriously hurt. Mrs. Elsie did not see her, but she didn’t seem nearly so surprised or perhaps as concerned. Apparently that community (where the campus is situated) is a hub for many drug-dealers and often people get stoned and pass out by the streets. Talking to my friends at school, I was reminded that this neighborhood (or one nearby where they live?) is also the gay-district of Bangkok and daily they see all forms of sexual perversion. (Most likely the students get to see a lot of that too). Many more of the students at Prong Jai seem to come from homes/families that are actually opposed to the gospel, rather than merely indifferent (like many parents seem to be at Bangna). I heard that young Dhavani, who I’ve been praying for a lot, has a mother who is a Hindu priestess and she is expected to be the next, following in her mother’s footsteps. No wonder there is a feeling of spiritual oppression in that place! No wonder there are so many battles just to teach there day by day (or week by week, in my case).

And yet, in the darkness, God’s light is shining. I had another extended conversation with the second grade class today about Jesus’ death and about heaven. SO many questions about heaven! After speaking of Jesus, one boy said, “I wish He would come back.” I got excited, “He will! And He’s going to take all those who believe in Him with Him to the place He’s been getting ready for us!” Some acted like they had never heard anything like that in their lives! It was exciting for me to open up Revelation 21 and speak of that wonderful place and talk about how different we (and everything else) will be. And most of all, how we will soon be with Jesus!

Please, please lift up your powerful prayers on behalf of these children and their teachers. God is able to do great things in that place!

Coffee-Dessert Party

2007-03-15T04:01:00.000-07:00

This is mainly for Beka and all those who asked me what my new dishes look like. Last Sunday I had a little coffee-dessert party for one of my friends' (Shawna) birthday. We had so much fun!! I made chocolate chip cookies and York-mint brownies (thanks to a care-package Elizabeth sent!) and served Reeces Pieces (thanks to Valentines packages from Meghan and Beka) and mango and sticky rice. Mango are now starting to be in season and the ones I got at the market were so yummy! All the desserts were devoured while we played Scatagories and Imagine If. (I bought the apron, by the way, pretty much because it matched my kitchen towel and pot holder and because it makes me feel domestic! That and because it reminds me of my mom. : )

March has been the month of birthdays at the school. Last Friday a large group of friends went downtown to Tony Romas for dinner for my friend Anna's birthday. It was such a treat to be there - stepping into that restaurant felt like stepping into America! We all oohed and aahed at the littlest things that we missed or loved or that defined American dining vs. Thai dining. Most were things I hadn't thought about in a while as I've already gotten used to the Thai way of eating. For example...

*the menu was entirely in English and it served wonderful (fattening, sigh...) things like ribs, steaks, baked potatoes, onion-ring-type appetizers, huge salads, American-type sandwiches with a lot of meat on a roll or bun (not like the restaurant next to me which defines a chicken sandwich as a thin slice of deli chicken on two pieces of white bread).

*free refills!

*American-size napkins! Thai napkins are about a 1/4 the size of most American napkins (if that!).

*the silverware was wrapped in a napkin and included a fork and KNIFE! Thai meals always come with a fork and large spoon. You rarely receive a knife.

*all of our meals came at the same time!! At which point we started eating at the same time! Typically Thais will serve the dishes as they are ready.

*at the end of our HUGE meal, we took leftovers home. I hardly ever do that at Thai places (although I probably could; I guess there just usually aren't any!)

*unfortunately we paid American prices for these luxuries. My meal and drink (with tax and tip included) was almost 500 baht - around $13! I haven't paid that much for food in months. Most Thai food costs between $1-$3, or maybe $5 at a nicer place. I think it was worth it for the special occaision that it was, though. : )

Fun with students

2007-03-09T09:24:00.000-08:00

I've been praying recently that the Lord would help me to enjoy my students and to find delight in them. He has over and abundantly answered that prayer with so many fun, "giggly" and precious moments with my kids in class! He is teaching me to take the time to pause and enjoy their responses to music and even the expressions on their faces (instead of being so strict about sticking to my lesson plans) and to take the time to just laugh with them. I don't know how much of the following will make sense - I think most of these things are "had to be there" moments - but even just for my own sake, I wanted to write them down. And maybe, if you read, you can get a picture of what my students are like...

Things that make me giggle and bring me great joy:

*hearing my K4 students (especially Harrish and Nathan) sing back to me "Hello, Miss Catherine" (sol-mi, sol-sol-mi) with the biggest smiles on their faces

*Ji-Won's expression (another K4 student) as she is frozen mid-movement, looking at me expectantly as we play the "Talking Tambourine", just waiting to see if the tambourine will say to walk or skip.

*watching Camp (4th grade) play recorder, sitting perfectly (almost too) erect with his elbows straight out to his sides, not realizing how extreme he looks. I've dubbed him my "perfect recorder posture man"!

*my 6th grade violinists: every time I say "get your violins up" they all hold them up high in the air. It cracks me up! They are a truly nutty class!

*the expression on all my students’ faces when I told them that Handel was ESL! : )

*seeing my students get so into the listening selection of the week - squealing with surprise and delight during Haydn's surprise symphony; creating vivid and interesting stories while listening to "March to the Scaffold" and thinking that Berlioz looks like Abraham Lincoln (we have composer posters at school that I've been using); "moving" with my K and 1st grade students to the music and giggling with them through it. Some of my 4th grade girls who have music on Wednesday told me that they always look at the "Composer Corner" (where I hang the poster and name of the piece for the week) on Tuesdays when they are in the music room for Good News Club - so they always have a "sneak preview"! During Beethoven's week, when we listened to part of his 9th symphony, they came to class with a recorder version of "Ode to Joy" and played it for everyone. I was amazed at the coincidence until they told me that they had seen the sign the day before and looked it up!

*Miss Mary's 4th grade class. Because it's last period on Friday - when we're ALL ready for the weekend - we often get silly. Last week when I asked the students to play a certain song on their recorders and counted them off, I saw Benz (who was sitting right in front of me) scramble for his recorder and hurriedly lift it to his mouth, only to realize that he was holding it upside-down! Pratu (one of the sweetest little girls in the class) saw it out of the corner of her eye and made the funniest expression as she tried to hold in her laughter. I lost it and not 2 measures into the song had to cut the whole class off and let the rest of the students in on what had happened. It took us a while to regain "self-control" enough to continue on with class!

*my K students at Prong Jai. That class only has 6 students, so it is a lot more relaxed. We play a lot of music games which require one student to close his/her eyes while I give an object and/or call on another student to sing, then letting the one student guess who it was. My Prong Jai Kindergartners LOVE making ME be the one to close eyes, then they always think of some silly way to try and trick me, never imagining that I can tell exactly what they're doing! A few weeks ago, Jonathan (usually the leader of the class silliness), figured out that I could probably hear everything they were scheming, so he came up behind me and covered my ears with his hands. It didn't block out any of their talking and it was so funny it hear them plan together how they were going to "trick Miss Catherine"!

*(sweet not funny:) chubby little Pan Pan (one of the K students at Prong Jai), pulling out the handkerchief in her shirt pocket and wiping her tear-filled eyes after listening to "This is How We Know" (1 John 3:16 - from Steve Green's "Hide 'Em in Your Heart"). "It's so beautiful!" she said.

*the silence that comes over the room when I take out the child's story Bible and read a story about Jesus before we sing "Tell Me the Story of Jesus" (the newest hymn we're working on). They all listen so intently (unless they've heard the story before, in which case they're raising their hands and practically bounding out of their seats because they want to tell the story!).

*the story of this week was of Jesus' last meal with His disciples when He instituted the "Lord's Supper". After quoting Him saying "This is my body...this is my blood", one of my students asked "What about His bones?" Another student got excited - "It's just like 'Nothing but the Blood'!"

Thais on the beach

2007-03-08T05:41:00.000-08:00

It was very humorous observing the differences between Thais and "Farong" (and even the extremes of Thais and Europeans) when it came their response to the sun. All the Europeans were out in the sun with their bikinis and speedos, especially in the middle of the day, trying to soak up as much sun as possible (and most of them were sun-burnt!). The Thais, however, wouldn't hardly come outside or out from under the shade until after 5:00 and then when they went swimming, most of them went in the ocean fully dressed (with swim-suits underneath). They are so afriad of getting darker than they already are!

It was funny coming back to school on Tuesday and seeing my students' response to me. I was, of course, very sunburnt, despite my attempts to avoid it by putting on lots of SPF 45 sunblock, wearing a t-shirt and not swimming much in the middle of the day. My students kept asking me why I was so red. One 3rd grader, Praise, really didn't seem to understand it. I told her that many farongs get red when they stay in the sun too long and that she should feel blessed that the Lord created her to be Thai so that she never gets sunburnt. She looked so baffled!

Also funny were the options for fillings at the crepe stand on the beach. Not sure if the print is large enough to read it very well, but you could get blueberry, strawberry jam, shredded pork, cashew nuts, squid with chili, raisin, ham, steamed eustara (I don't even know what that is!), sausage, chocolate, tuna, banana - in that order! - or any combination of those. As I waited to order my chocolate-banana crepe, I noticed the person in front of me had them put banana, ham and chocolate on hers. Ugh!

Koh Samet

2007-03-08T04:42:00.000-08:00

Last weekend was a 3-day weekend due to a Thai holiday on Monday (sadly, I don't even know what it was about!), so me and 10 other teachers headed for the beach! We went to an island about 2 1/2-3 hours south of Bangkok called Koh Samet. It was quite a different experience than being at Khao Lak (on Phuket) with the MTW team last fall. It was a little less remote (although we took a speed boat out to the little beach where our resort was and the beach didn't have a pier, so we had to roll up our pant-legs and carry our lugguge on our backs or heads from the the boat to the shore), a little more busy and touristy and had a bit of a "party-town" feel to it. We had a very fun and relaxing time, though, and got some much needed rest.

Some highlights from the weekend...

*Sleeping in until 8:30 a.m. for 3 days in a row; lots of time to read my new book (sent to me from Dad via the Henrys: J. Hudson Taylor, God's Man in China) while lounging on beach chairs; swimming in clear, turquoise and blue colored water; and watching chick-flicks at night with my girl friends.

*Eating every meal on the beach while watching and hearing the ocean, either on patio furniture-type table and chairs or lounge chairs with a small table in between or on mats with Thai-triangular pillows to lean up against and a low Thai-style table to eat on. Most lunches we just ate on our beach chairs or mats, buying "snacks" from little stands or vendors who were walking up and down the beach: fresh tropical fruit, "chicken on a stick", som tum and sticky rice, crepes and roti (kind of a flat, dessert pancake - my favorite flavor was banana and chocolate). One nicer place we ate at on Sunday night was possibly the most beautiful, romantic restaraunt I've even been to, as we sat under trees decorated with white lights with the ocean beside us and a full moon above.

*Renting motorcyles and driving them up and down the main road of the island which ran right beside the coast. This was my first experience driving a "moto-cy" myself and the guys we rented from didn't have anymore automatics, so I got to learn how to shift gears! It was a little "lurchy" (gave me a new appreciation for the motorcycle taxi drivers I've ridden with!), but once I got to the 3rd and 4th gears I felt like I was soaring! What a thrill! I even took my first passenger (Jen) and we did not get in any wrecks (although we had some close calls with a chicken and a large truck).

*Playing pool in one of the restaraunt/bars on the beach. : )

*Taking a snorkling tour around the island. We circumvented the whole island in our boat, stopping at two different spots to snorkle and then to see a fish farm. The sea creatures and plants I saw under the water were so beautiful and brightly colored (deep blue, purple, turquoise, gold, black) - I just wish I knew what they were all called! At the second stop, one of the crew on the boat threw food out to the fish and in a few seconds there were hundreds around our boat. I went down and swam in the midst of them - how exciting! The fish farm - although I was doubtful at first - was also incredibly cool! I wish I could describe the way it was laid out with squares of net holding the different grouping of marine-life and narrow boards lining the nets that we walked along to view all the different kinds of fish, sharks, and sea turtles. I saw a giant grouper and could hear Clint's 4-year-old voice quoting his "Dangerous Sea Creatures" book: "Did you know that a giant grouper can swallow a man in one gulp?!" : ) It was very neat!

*Jumping, diving and attempting back-flips (still can't do one!) off the different levels of the boat. It's been a while since I've had a platform high enough and water deep enough to enjoy a true dive - and it was even more exciting diving off the edge of a boat as it was moving up and down in the waves into beautiful ocean water!

[The enjoyment of so many of these things, I discovered, was greatly enhanced by the absence of picky safetly regulations. It's so much more fun being in Thailand where no one requires you to wear a life-jacket while snorkling, cares if you jump off a boat or makes you wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle (actually, I couldn't have even if I had wanted one - they didn't have any!). It really made the whole weekend so much more "adventurous" feeling. : )]

Yes, very fun. Made it very hard to come back to Bangkok and go to work the next day!

barricades and ammunition

2007-02-27T05:44:00.000-08:00

I would not consider myself a particularly aggressive or hostile person. In fact, I usually avoid conflict at every turn and would much rather let myself be wronged over and over again than having to address an issue. It takes an often repeated offense which deeply wounds or bothers me to the core for me to stand up and fight back. Well, I have reached that point. Catherine has gone to war.

I'm not sure when I actually crossed the line or when this deep-set hatred officially settled into my heart, but I think it happened a some point the week before last. If I had to name a time, it would be at 2:30 a.m. on Thursday morning when I sat up alert in my bed, scratching the bites that covered my arms, neck and face while watching several mosquitoes buzz around me tauntingly as if to say, "You can't catch me!" That was the second time that week that I was up for at least a 1/2 hour in the middle of the night- not to mention the rest of the nights which were all rather restless - and I woke up in the morning, exhausted, with spots of blood on the hem of my sheet and bites all over my skin. Something, I decided, must be done.

That afternoon my girl-friends came to the rescue. My dear, intuitive friend, Tara (from Jacksonville) had given me a mosquito net for Christmas which I brought back to Thailand but had not managed to hang yet. At first, I didn't see as great a need to hang it because when I returned after Christmas break, it was the cool season and mosquitoes seemed to almost have disappeared. Well, I have since learned that they were anything but gone. Apparently the cool season is time when mosquito eggs have been laid but are dormant. When the 2 1/2 week cool season left us and the heat began to increase again, it proved to be the incubation time for those mosquito eggs - otherwise known as "mosquito season." And mosquitoes have been everywhere. Especially in areas surrounding water or drains. Walking into the women's bathroom down the outside hallway from my classroom was like walking into a fog of mosquitoes. I now know how Pharaoh felt and why he let the children of Israel go!

Anyway, when I realized I did indeed need the net over my bed at night, I then had a difficult time trying to figure out how to hang it up. Basic items (like hooks and string) are still hard for me to find in Thailand, so it took me several days to find and purchase them. Then when I did, I realized the task of hanging up something like that with four corners and pieces of string going in four different directions was more than one person can do. Unfortunately I am only one person and all the friends I know that live nearby seemed to be busy all that week. So finally, after the previously described night of misery, I had my two prayer partners over to "pray" (truly, we did!) and asked them to help me hang it up. See photo below:

That night (and most nights since) it worked wonders. (Thank you, Tara!!) It has shown itself to be the perfect fortress against my enemy, protecting me from their pointed attacks. Now I lie (did I use that word correctly, Dad?) underneath, watching that "pestilence that stalks in the darkness" (from Psalm 91:6 - a verse I've found great comfort in this last year) land on the outside of the net and I get to say, "Ha! You can't get me!" : P It's also been a very fun, cozy little place to hide away in. Sitting and sleeping underneath my net takes me back to the days when Joanna and I shared a room and would makes tents or "boats" out of our sheets, tucking all our stuffed animals and pillows and important belongings underneath them to keep them safe from the impending storm above or crocodiles below. It makes me feel like a child again. Because it's one of the few (usually) mosquito-free places in my apartment and because it is so fun to sit underneath, I've started to read a lot under here and even work on my computer or talk on the phone. (In case you were wondering: yes, I'm typing this while sitting on my bed underneath my net. : )

Unfortunately, even strategies as good as setting up barricades are not fool-proof. A few nights in this past week a mosquito or two have somehow snuck under the net (probably as I shot under it quickly myself) and then seemed to have a hey-day there, as they had no other place to go except to me. This has pushed me to the offensive and I went out in search of better ammunition. I bought another mosquito batter/racket, which appears to be just about as worthless as the other different one I purchased last fall (I feel like I need to get a lesson in how to use these things from a Thai person - they use them all the time!). I also bought an "Electrical Mosquito Killer" (like a small, inside version of one you've probably seen before). The box says, "the killer can be used in bed-room, hall, hostal, office, chicken farm, animal huslardry, and any other places where needs killing mosquitoes" so I thought it would be perfect for me! In a matter of days, I counted 15 dead mosquitoes on the "killer" - which is very exciting, however there are more than 15 mosquitoes in and out of my apartment these days, so that alone has not eradicated the problem. But it does definitely help. My strategy of the week, after respraying the entire apartment, is to keep my shower and sink drains covered with a bowl or jar at all times. So far, a combination of all these things has helped tremendously. Katy came to my place yesterday afternoon and laughed at my net and drains and looked at me like, "is it really that bad?" A few minutes later, she killed three herself.

And where is Sam in all this, you may ask? Well, he has proven to be a fair-weather friend (er, gecko) in the midst of difficult times (either that or he ate his fill for the year after a few nights, then left.) I haven't seen him in weeks, which only affirms the wisdom of what my parents always told me: never let strange boys into your bedroom at night, no matter how nice they look.

As if this entry wasn't long enough already, last weekend my friend Amber (a first grade teacher who is very proficient at rhyming words) inspired me to write a lullaby about my experiences. If nothing else, maybe singing this to myself at night will help me fall asleep!

Hush, little Catherine, don't mind the bites;
Mama's gonna buy you a mosquito light.

And if those 'squitoes won't go away,
Mama will get you some lethal bug spray.

But if that spray doesn't kill every bug,
Mama'll get some to go in an electric plug.

But if the poisin still doesn't set,
Mama will cover you with a mosquito net.

And for those few that sneak through the crack,
Mama will strike them with a zapper-bat.

Then to grant your every wish,
Mama will buy you some mosquito-eating fish!

In case those bites disturb your calm,
She'll cover your skin with some tiger balm.

And if you will only pray and let go,
God will send you a small gecko.

But if none of these things work,
She'll understand why you go berserk!

Composed by: Catherine Rogers and Amber Vawser

Apt

2007-02-25T03:51:00.000-08:00

I just found out yesterday that the Thai word for "smelly" (as in, bad odor) is men! I thought this was very fitting, especially as I remember driving my brothers home from soccer practice. (Sorry, Clint and Will!) It made me laugh! : )

confusion

2007-02-22T07:01:00.000-08:00

"I pray to Buddha and to Jesus. Miss Jaime, I don't understand. If I don't pray to Buddha, I won't get merit and I'll go to hell. But if I don't pray to Jesus, I go to hell. I don't know what I'm supposed to do..."

I had a long talk with one of my friends this afternoon in which she shared with me the above quote from one of her second graders during a class discussion (I'm probably mis-quoting it somewhat, but that's the main gist). Although this particular second grader thinks and speaks way beyond his years (Jaime described him as her "Socrates"), his comment seems to capture the feelings of the whole class. These children are confused - and rightfully so. Jaime (who lives downtown and works at the smaller, downtown campus) says that every morning she passes by a corner where a Buddhist monk stands, surrounded by 8-12 people who are offering him gifts and provision as they wai to show him their humble respect. She imagines her own students standing there (as they probably do) with their parents handing them incense and gifts and teaching them how to wai to the monk; then a few minutes later they are sitting in her classroom hearing the Bible lesson of the day. What is going through these children's minds each day? How on earth do they sort through the conflicting messages they are hearing? And if they choose to believe in Christ, how do they go against their parents' teaching and instructions?

Last Friday a couple of Thais at the larger campus (X and Yo - both are Kindergarten aides, dear sisters in the Lord and are becoming good friends of mine) shed some light on this last question when they shared their testimonies in chapel. Both of them are from Buddhist homes and are currently the only Christians in their families (except Yo, who has a Christian mom but Buddhist dad). They became Christians in their late teenage/early college years, but they were still expected to go to the temple with the family for worship. I think in both cases they waited a few years before telling their parents about their faith in Christ while in the meantime they often made up excuses to not go to the temple or to sneak out to go to church on Sundays. When they finally did tell their parents, it caused an explosion: a huge argument and the very painful words "You are not my daughter anymore." I cried as they shared (X cried too and had to stop many times during her testimony). The Lord has since worked in each of their family's hearts and they are back on good terms with them, but they still do not know the joy of worshipping with their family members. I can't even imagine...

Please pray for these precious young ones in their confusion and inner turmoil, that the Lord will reveal His truth to them and give them the faith and courage to believe in Him.

Khao Yai

2007-02-03T07:08:00.000-08:00

Today I went with a group of ICS teachers and friends of theirs to Khao Yai National Park for a day of hiking. My friend, Kim, described it as "life-giving" and I would have to agree. With being in the fresh air, hiking through a mountainous rain forest full of green plants, rippling streams and open spaces, seeing waterfalls and getting great exercise, my body was thoroughly refreshed. And being with people and enjoying "good conversation" (as one of the other girls commented) refreshed my spirit (which has been rather dry and depressed as of late). God truly blessed our day in every way, from handling the details of the trip (of which I was extremely grateful as I was actually the instigator/organizer of this particular outing) to putting together a most wonderful group of people, some of which did not know each other at beginning of the day. [Interesting: 5 of my 6 companions of the day were from the state of Colorado! This seemed to add validity to our hiking venture and I learned several things from their experience. : )] Today was what I have been hungering for a long time. Another example of God knowing just what we need.

skeptical

2007-02-03T07:05:00.000-08:00

Kim and I took a few self-photographs after our hiking adventure, trying out different expressions. This one was supposed to be "skeptical." We laughed so hard at her face (which is actually a common expression of hers, usually accompanied by either "Shoot, man!" or "Get out!") that I thought I'd include it on the blog. She is one of the funniest people I know.

And another attempt at skeptical (a bit more aloof, I would say...):

Cool Season

2007-01-30T03:06:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been full of Thai "firsts"...

Sunday was the first time I have ever felt cold in Thailand. I took the bus to church in the morning, and sitting by the open window with the wind coming through as we bumped along the roads, I found myself quite chilly (I was wearing pants and a short-sleeved shirt). Although it warmed up throughout the day, it was a nice sensation to come back to my apartment around noon after walking a few blocks to and from bus stops and not feel sweaty!

Then yesterday morning, it was very cool when I woke up. I took a hot shower and then actually wanted to blow dry my hair (something I have kind of given up on the last few months because it's been so hot) and wear hose to work. When I got there, I pulled on my button-down sweater, which has been draped over the back of my desk chair and not been worn since arriving.

Last night was the first time I've slept (most of) the night without either the AC or my floor fan on (most of the time I use both!) - and I still woke up chilly and did the whole "hot shower/blow drying the hair" thing again.

"So, how cold is it?" you ask. I looked up the forecast online yesterday morning. The lows for this week are in the mid-60s!! (Granted the highs are upper 80s or 90.) I couldn't believe it! I didn't think it ever got this cold in Bangkok! Thursday the low is supposed to be 63! How exciting! The whole thing has caused me to be in a very good mood recently. : ) (Although it's also been the source of a head cold I seem to have contracted yesterday - either that or my K4 class! - and the reason I've been drinking Airborne the last few days.)

My students, however, are not as thrilled as I am over the low temperatures. I'm on morning duty this week (something I actually really enjoy doing because it allows me to see my students in a more relaxed, less formal, non-classroom environment and get to know them better) and it was pretty funny seeing their reaction to the cold weather yesterday morning. They were all shivering, wrapped up in (very light) jackets and snuggling close to each other, their parents and even me (which I didn't mind at all). I heard many say, "I'm freezing!" Pat, especially, cracked me up with her purple ear-muffs. She sat at the table, hugging her self and groaning (in her very Thai accent), "I'm going to die!" So funny! : )

Disgusting foods people eat

2007-01-27T08:31:00.000-08:00

Joanna told me that she and Gabe just read a book about disgusting foods some people have eaten throughout the ages and around the world. Interestingly, one of the foods mentioned from Asia I just ate last night.

Today was Jen's birthday and last night X, one of our Thai friends, organized a dinner and karaoke party for her. She prepared a game for us all to play that involved passing around a present that had been wrapped multiple times while music played. When the music stopped, the person holding the gift had to open up a layer then do whatever "task" the note on the wrapping said. Several other people got pleasant, happy things like "sing a song that the birthday girl will dance to" or "say 5 Thai words or phrases". When it landed on me, I unwrapped the gift to find "eat a special Thai snack". Right away I knew what sort of "snack" it would be. X handed me a little package and said I only had to eat one sliver. It was dried squid. After she passed it around the whole room so everyone could smell and be disgusted, I plugged my nose, stuck in my mouth, crunched and swallowed. At first it wasn't so bad - until the smell reached my own nose. I tried to drown the fishy taste in pepsi and ice-cream cake, but the whole thing was disgusting. I managed to keep it down though. Griffin would have been proud.

Tonight I had another food adventure. I got myself some "take home" Lebanese for dinner and was just beginning to enjoy my meal when I popped what I thought was a raw green bean into my mouth. (This may sound like a strange thing to assume it was, but many Thai dishes here, and apparently Lebanese dishes, are served with raw vegetables.) I ate it like I would have a raw green bean. Soon my whole mouth was on fire and I was reaching for anything remotely "cool" to ease the pain: water, slices of cucumbers and tomatoes, reeses pieces, mango juice, more water (in that order). (I probably drank 2 or 3 full glasses of water in a matter of seconds!). My eyes were all watery and my nose was running. It took a while before the inside of my mouth stopped hurting and I could taste my food again. I took a closer look at another of the "green beans" and it was, of course, a type of green pepper, which I guess eaten whole, is quite hot. Another lesson learned...

Nothing can for sin atone...

2007-01-27T04:26:00.000-08:00

It's been another week of amazing conversations with my students while discussing the hymn "Nothing But the Blood of Jesus." This week I taught most groups verse 2 which begins by talking about Christ as our atonement. What a hard concept to explain to kids! Even after looking up various definitions in dictionaries and study Bibles, I still stumbled around a lot in my words. I realized that the idea of "atonement" needed some background, so we also talked about God's just wrath, our need of punishment, and Christ's perfections. Again, I was amazed that so many classes listened so intently - some students even with tears in their eyes. One particular class (one of my most difficult!) had a lot of questions, most of which came from a boy named "Pow". He seemed really concerned about God being angry at unbelievers and of his own connected God's punishment with what he had heard about hell (although I didn't really talk about hell originally). He really seemed to be sorting through everything I said, but continued to have a heaviness on his heart. Please pray for him and the rest of his 2nd grade class. His teacher from last year was amazed when I told her about our conversation. Apparently he spent most of last year telling the other students not to listen to the Bible lesson and not to believe in Yahweh because He was not true (Pow comes from a staunch Buddhist home), but slowly throughout the last year has begun to open his heart to God's word - even to the point of memorizing class and Good News Club memory verses! But I think it's still a great battle for him. Like many others, he has completely different teachings being thrown at him that he has to sort through (as a 7 year old!), and should he choose to follow Christ, it would be at a great cost.

Today my friend Jaime read something to me as we shared our hearts over coffee at a cute, Thai-style Starbucks. It was such an encouragement to me in my weakness as a bearer (or explainer!) of the gospel, I wanted to post it...

"This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God's way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities.

And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!

All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in him, we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don't let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."

from Ephesians 3, The Message

Nothing but the Blood of Jesus

2007-01-16T05:14:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been full of opportunities to share the gospel with my students. Starting this week, the hymn of the month(ish) is "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus". This was my mom's excellent suggestion as it is a fairly easy one to learn (even for young and/or ESL students) but yet is full of rich doctrine. So far the kids have loved it! Several of them knew the first verse from Good News Clubs (which we have on campus once a week after school) and already loved the singing it. As I was teaching on the meaning of the words in the first verse, I shared all the ways/times that Christ bled for us leading up to and during the crucifixion, giving them hopefully a picture of His great love for us. In just about every class (so far this week I've introduced it to one K, 1st, 3rd and two 2nd grade classes), the students grew extremely serious and even sad as I talked about the cross. And not just that, but I don't think I've ever had every single student's rapt attention like I did when sharing about it. It's been amazing to see the Spirit at work, causing them to listen to the gospel message. And they've asked several questions too - especially my 2nd graders to whom I gave the assignment of making visuals for the hymn (the fold-out cross visual we used to use in CEF). "I don't know what this means...precious is the flow? What does 'flow' mean?" "What is 'atone'?" I had to pray many times throughout class that God would give me the words to put these concepts in "kid" language.

Another neat thing I started yesterday is meeting with Katy Veldhorst (Dave and Jan Veldhorst's daughter) after school to study the Bible, memorize verses and pray together. She's in 8th grade and goes to ICS (too old to be in any of my classes though). I'd like to say that I'll be discliping her, but I have a feeling that I'm going to learn much more from her than she will from me. She a very godly, ministry-minded girl and I have really enjoyed getting to know her this past fall. We actually have a lot of common interests too, despite the difference in age, so I think our Monday afternoons are going to be a lot of fun.

God has encouraged me these last few days. It's been so neat to see Him at work. Since coming back after Christmas, I've been trying to get to school earlier and spend a bit of time in prayer for my students (praying for each by name - Laurel's challenged me so much in this area) and dedicating the day to the Lord. I'm finding that I'm always in a position of need and almost nervous fear as I approach each day, but it's amazing to see God work despite that need and weakness. Maybe me praying only opens my eyes to better see what He is doing, but it seems like recently God has really been "showing off" (as Dave said in his sermon on Sunday, God loves to do : ) - taking what is so difficult for me and what I know I can't do and showing me that He can do it! It's neat to be a spectator here. : )

The following are verses that really challenged me as I prayed through them last Thursday (especially in light of the fact that, as Maria Francis said, I have the "nations" in my classroom):

"Sing a new song to the Lord!
Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!
Sing to the Lord; praise his name.
Each day proclaim the good news that he saves.
Publish his glorious deeds among the nations.
Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.
Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!
He is to be feared above all gods."

Psalm 96:1-4 (NLT)

roommate - part two

2007-01-14T05:58:00.000-08:00

I wrote the last post around noon of yesterday, but as the day progressed, I got less and less enthusiastic about having a gecko around. At first I thought Sam had left, as I hadn't seen him most of the afternoon, but in the evening I saw him crawling around again. While I was on the phone with my family, my eyes followed his movements back and forth along the walls and I could feel my body tensing up, especially when I saw him crawling on the ceiling right above my bed. I wondered how I was ever going to fall asleep.

While I was watching, I shared with Dad and Meghan about my new roommate. Dad's reaction: "That's great!! God answered your prayers and provided you with a solution to your mosquito problems!" At first I just sat there wondering at his positive attitude. "This is God's provision?" I thought skeptically. (And even deeper down: "I wish He had provided for my needs in a different way.") But it's amazing how one comment can completely change your view on things. My Dad always seems to be able to point me to God's providence. As I sat there the next several minutes and continued watching Sam, he seemed to change from being merely a slimy lizard to being my fearless little defender on a mission from my loving Heavenly Father. He acted as if he had been given strict orders to keep me from harm as he very intently made the rounds along my the tops of my walls, pausing only every now and again to look around for "danger" (or perhaps in his case, food. : ) By the time I went to bed, I almost felt safer knowing he was there and knowing that God cared enough for me to send this little gecko my way.

And I slept soundly all night.

roommate?

2007-01-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

I think I might have a new roommate. His name is Sam and he's been living with Jen next door, but they must have gotten in a fight while back because he left her place before Christmas. The last few nights he's been lingering outside my door with an eager look on his face. I had intended to be a good girl and leave him out in the cold (er, shall we say elements?), but today he got in somehow.

My Thai friend Nok was over for a late breakfast and while we were talking, her face suddenly brightened and she said, "Oh, you have a gecko too - just like Jen!" I whipped around to see where she was pointing. "What?!" I exclaimed. "No, he would be new." My first thought was how much I wished Clint or Will were here to kindly dispose of him for me (or even Lady - although she's not very humanitarian in the way she gets rid of geckos!). [I'm not much of a gecko (or even bug) catcher. When alone, I take more of a "You stay in your space, I'll stay in mine" approach to them - then I leave the room.] But then I thought, "Wait - this could be a good thing." My place seems to have grown a new crop of mosquitoes and little spiders since I left for Christmas break. I'm hoping Sam and I might be able to strike some sort of deal: he eats my pestilence, I let him visit every so often. I'm not sure how I feel about him staying the night though. So far he's mainly hung out in the kitchen area of my apartment (typical guy). I'm just hoping he's not planning on getting cozy tonight! We'll see if I can get any sleep...

Arrived Safely

2007-01-04T10:46:00.000-08:00

After traveling for almost 30 hours through the airports of 3 different country's capitols, I have arrived back in Bangkok safely. The first things to greet me upon arrival were the warm air, the wonderful smell of the city's pollution, and several airport workers asking me if I needed a taxi, saying that they could get me a "deal", taking me to my nearby apartment for 700 baht (to which I replied, "700 baht?!" "Or else you will have to wait in the long queue downstairs to get your own taxi." "I'll wait." Which I did for less than 10 minutes and saved myself over $10.) Yes, I'm back in Thailand.

Thank you for your prayers for my safe return. Although I had been rather nervous before leaving due to the recent bomb scares in Bangkok, God gave me His perfect peace as I traveled and took care of me the whole way.

Middle School Concert

2006-12-10T03:31:00.000-08:00

If I wondered at the Prong Jai concert on Thursday morning going off without any mishaps of any kind, I was later to find out that God was just saving them for the evening! I think my part of the Middle School concert will forever be considered in my mind as the "concert of calamities"!

I had to leave Prong Jai soon after the concert was over to come back to a mid-morning 6th grade strings dress rehearsal for the Middle School concert that evening (my 5th graders will play next week). By the time I got back to Bangna, I had a terrible headache which also made me feel sick to my stomach. I pressed on through the dress rehearsal but found myself getting extremely frustrated with out-of-tune violins and a bridge on one of my student's violins which had fallen and didn't want to stay back up (I ended up just letting him borrow the school's violin for the rehearsal, saying that I'd fix it before the evening). I was pretty brain-dead the rest of the school day and tried to get a few things done, then went back to my apartment and slept off some of the headache that afternoon (it didn't completely leave until Friday mid-day). I arrived early for the concert to tune everyone's violins again, but didn't get there early enough. The one student's violin bridge fell another 3 or 4 times before it finally snapped in half! "Well," I thought, "I guess this means he'll be using the school violin for the concert!" 15 minutes before the concert was to begin, I realized that my music and all of the student's music that I was keeping was in my apartment! I had accidently taken it out of my bag with a stack of other things. To make matters worse, I had lent my apartment keys to a friend so she could use my shower before the concert (since I live on campus), so I had to go find her, walk with her to her classroom (in the 2nd floor of another building) where she had put my keys, rush up to my 4th floor apartment to get the music and run back to the auditorium (all in high heels). I made it back before the concert began but the whole thing made me flustered and rather sweaty (it was a hot evening). Our plan was for my violinists to sit together on the first row and then walk up to the front of the stage in their chamber groups at the appropriate times, but right before the concert began, when we tried to slip into the actual auditorium, we discovered we were locked out! So we stayed backstage for the first 1/3rd of the concert and had to change our approach for walking on the stage. Then as the first group (the "Indian boys quintet" and me!) were lining up to walk out, we realized one of the students wasn't there! In the chaos, I hadn't realized he was missing and had assumed earlier that he was in another room practicing with the choir. So for the concert we were the "Indian Boys Quartet" and Miss Catherine.

As to the actual performance, the students' pieces held together (for some of the groups, a miracle in itself!) and all in all sounded better than they had in the past, although not where I wish they were at this point. I played with two of the groups (to help hold them together) and was rather nervous as it was one of my first performances on the violin! The students were pleased with the way they played, I think, so I guess the important things happened, but what a trip to get there! It was the kind of night where I could either laugh or cry at all that happened - and this time God gave me the grace to laugh! : )

Prong Jai Christmas Concert

2006-12-10T02:40:00.000-08:00

This last week has been a very hefty week, climaxing on Thursday for my first two (of three) Christmas concerts at ICS. God answered so many requests concerning these concerts that I wanted to write and tell you about them and say thank you for supporting me with your prayers!!

The first was the Elementary Christmas concert at the Prong Jai campus. I don't think I've written about Prong Jai yet on my blog or ever posted all the pictures I meant to post, but it is the smaller, downtown campus that I travel to once a week to teach music. Prong Jai was the original campus of ICS where Elementary and Secondary students attended until the school way out-grew it and built the much larger Bangna campus 2 years ago. Now there are only 65 K-5th Grade students there and after much prayer and many meetings of the administration and school board this past fall, it was decided that Prong Jai will be closed after this year. Even though I've only taught there now one semester and am only there one day a week, I was very sad about this decision. I love Prong Jai. Because there are so few students there, the campus really has a "homey" feel and the students and faculty are like one big family. The teachers there work together so well and I really enjoy being with them and fellowshipping with them. And the campus itself is very beautiful (I'll post the pictures soon), with a beautiful garden/play-ground in the center of campus. It's also very peaceful there, even though it is in the middle of town. I love my Thursdays because I get to travel out to Prong Jai to teach.

Prong Jai does not have an auditorium or classroom large enough for a concert, so our Christmas concert was on platforms they set up in the outdoor cafeteria. We had it first thing in the morning (7:30) because by 8:30 or later, it would have been too hot to be enjoyable! The kids did a combination of songs from a collection called "The Signs of Christmas" and a play called "Green at Christmas" which we edited to make our own and is about 2 aliens that are trying to figure out the meaning of Christmas (it ended up very funny and cute!). The kids did fabulously and sang out so well and really seemed to enjoy it. We all worked them very hard with extra rehearsals, but they pulled it off wonderfully. I was so proud! In fact, so few things went wrong that by the middle of the program, I wondered what was going happen because some big mishap has to happen at every concert, right? We had one sound glich and that was it.

One exciting thing about this concert was that because I am only there once a week, putting it together was really a team effort of the teachers and staff. And they all gave so freely and worked as hard as I did on this concert. It was neat to see everyone's gifts being used on behalf of the children.

The two highlights (and answers to prayer!) from that morning were:

1) a conversation I had with one of my second grade Indian students before the concert. I was praying and reading my Bible alone in the music room before the concert and Dhavani came in a sat down and started talking to me (made me miss Rachel Mitts a lot!). After a minute she looked at the open Bible on my lap and asked, "Will you tell me something from the Bible about God?" I think my mouth must have dropped to the floor as my mind raced, thinking "Where do I start?!" She must have known what I was thinking because she said, "Tell me what you were reading." So I read her some of Psalm 113, sharing about the greatness and yet condescension of Christ, relating it all to Christmas and the gospel. Before I knew it, she was sharing the gospel right back to me (Dhavani has and has had excellent teachers at ICS the last couple of years!). Later she said, "I want to go to the Promised Land." I agreed with her and said that one thing I was really looking forward to was seeing people from all different nations (India, Thailand, America...) all worshipping God there together. She asked if there were going to be many Indians in heaven but when I said that I thought so, she got really sad and told me that she keeps telling her Hindu family that Jesus is the Way and Truth but that they just won't believe. I prayed for her family with her. Later when I told my good friend Amber about our conversation (Amber was Dhavani's teacher last year), she said that Dhavani's parents almost didn't let her and her brother come back to ICS this year because they were/are so opposed to Christianity. What a difficult thing for a young child and young believer to deal with! Please pray that God will sustain and grow Dhavani's faith and that her parent's eyes will be opened to the truth of the gospel!

2) God answered my prayers that the gospel message would be central to our concert and would be proclaimed clearly. With the ESL student actors, some of the lines in the script couldn't be understood so very well and many of the jokes of the play were sadly lost to our also largely ESL audience, but God answered my prayer that the students would remember and speak clearly those lines that were especially speaking of the meaning of Christmas. He guarded the climax of the musical - when the 5th graders were refuting all the misconceptions about Christmas and boldly sharing that Jesus coming to save us was the real point of Christmas - from feedback from the mics or outward distractions and it led beautifully to one Christian student (Fa - who has the most golden, selfless heart of any 3rd grade boy I've ever known!) singing the solo "Christmas isn't Christmas (til it happens in your heart)." My eyes filled with tears of amazement and joy as I watched the kids share this message with their (mostly) unbelieving parents and then again at the end when the whole student body sang out "Lord, we lift up Your name, with hearts full of praise! Be exalted, O Lord my God - Hosanna in the Highest!" Yes, Lord! Come and save! And be exalted in Thailand from the mouths of these young ones!!

"These concepts that the movies and sentimental, 'warm-fuzzy' stories and so on pick up on about Christmas are all echoes of this story of Christ's birth....But the echo without the source-Jesus-is meaningless. Although it's a lot easier for people to understand and accept, it's lost its significance." (From "Green at Christmas")

Christmas worship and outreach

2006-12-10T01:55:00.000-08:00

This morning the MTW team worship was so wonderful! It was the first time since I've been there that we've had communion (which I've really missed - they may have done it this fall, but I just wasn't there) and Dave preached which is always very good and makes me come away wanting to spend more time with Christ. The music was really great today too! Since I arrived, Crystal, Tim and I have been on a rotation for planning and leading the musical worship for the morning services. In the last month, we've also had Ren, one of the Thai interns that goes to the Bangkok Bible College/Seminary, lead Thai songs in addition to the English songs. So our service today ended up fairly long with 6 English songs/hymns (not counting the Doxology) and 4 Thai songs; the usual call to worship, confessions, assurance of pardon and prayers; children's catechism (which is another exciting thing we've recently started to do to teach the kids on the team solid doctrine); a full sermon and celebration of the Lord's Supper. But it was all so good and rich and special that I don't think anyone felt like it was too long.

The music was especially good and special today, I think. This morning it was my turn to plan and lead, but after picking out the songs (many Christmas carols), I asked several of the others to join me to play. For the first few we had me on guitar, Mot (another Thai intern) on Tim's new djembe-type drum and Tim on penny whistle. I combined two of the songs in a kind of medley - and as I thought of how to combine them musically and thematically, I felt like so much like my dad. And though it wasn't nearly as complex or fancy (or practiced!) as what Dad always plans and does at Pinewood, I felt like I had a part of him and a part of Pinewood with me this morning as we worshipped (which is a special gift from God because I've been so homesick these last few weeks!) I also brought my cello for the first time to the office today and at the end of the service, Ren and I played "What Child is This?" (my mom's favorite Christmas carol; this time around as I looked at and cried over the words in the Trinity Hymnal version, I realized why). Ren is such an amazing guitarist and I think having the cello there made many of the team members feel like they were at their home churches, which is what I hoped and prayed for as I know they are all also struggling with great homesickness at this time. It was so good (and sanuk mak! : ) to make music with other people again - which I haven't done enough of outside of school since being here. Tim and I talked afterward and we hope to do more of that in the future.

Also exciting today was that we had 8 new Thai faces in our midst! Yesterday we all went to the Maahaathai (slum) community that is near the office for a special Christmas outreach. Dave and several others have gone weekly ever since Halley got the doors open for ministry there last spring, but yesterday was the first time I had ever been. It was such a blessing! Many kids came while their parents stood on the outskirts to watch all that we were doing. We played some games, Ren and I lead a few songs, many of the other team members acted out the Christmas story complete with costumes and props, and Dave and Mot shared the message of Christmas (I think! I couldn't understand everything because it was all in Thai!). Then we handed out bags of little toys and goodies and tangerines to everyone that came. The children were so precious, so beautiful! A few of them shared their talents with us as they played traditional Thai string instruments. Dave mentioned yesterday that he'd like to start going over there on Saturday and Sunday mornings with a taxi or truck and inviting any kids who want to come over and join us for JOY Kids and Sunday worship. He did it for the first time today and 8 kids came. They joined us for worship and then we took them out for lunch at the market (where about half the team goes every week) afterwards. It's so exciting to see all that God is doing to build His church here in Thailand!

my string classes

2006-12-04T04:45:00.000-08:00

This first picture is of my 5th Grade string class - the most ideal beginning string class in the world! They work so hard and have progressed so much over the last 4 months! Last Wednesday when they played their Christmas piece (a 2-part arrangement of "Good King Wenceslas" - with bows!) as I directed, I almost started crying. My very first string class - that I started! I am so proud of them!

(The second picture is of the 5th Grade girls in my string class; the third is of some of the boys in my 6th grade strings class.)

"Where, oh where, is our tour guide?"

2006-11-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

Cambodia: the sights

2006-11-26T21:28:00.000-08:00

Cambodia: the people

2006-11-26T21:25:00.000-08:00

Cambodia: the land

2006-11-26T21:20:00.000-08:00

Siem Reap and the rest of my Cambodia trip

2006-11-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

[I know the previous post was probably more than any of you were interested in reading, but believe it or not, it actually only covered the first day and a half of my weekend trip to Cambodia! So I wanted to finish sharing about my adventures, even if only for the sake of my family and my own journaling...]

I loved Cambodia. The people, the land, the culture. All were so simple, the people so gracious and kind and serving. As I wrote before, there was such an absence of materialism and commercialism there. And it was (comparatively) unaffected by Western culture (which, to me, was both a pleasant break and a great challenge!). Imagine that - a country largely devoid of Western marketing strategies and the corresponding feelings of "need" for more. I can't say I really enjoyed their "marketing" strategies a whole lot, though: "Madam, you want a coke? One dollar!" "Book! You buy book - only 3 dollars!" (Yes, they use US currency there. I know, bizarre.) "Lady, where you going? You need tuk-tuk? I take you!" "Madam, I take you on tuk-tuk! I show you hotel!" "Lady, what you need? I give you ride on tuk-tuk!" If you can imagine getting out of a bus and suddenly being surrounded by about 15-20 male tuk-tuk drivers all shouting the same things at you at the same time, holding up their signs, trying to talk you into letting them take you around the city, you'd begin to get idea of what being in Cambodia as a foreigner is like. They followed us as we walked down the streets, then lingered outside as we went into stores (in attempt to get away!) the whole time asking the same questions over and over and trying to get us to say something so that they could start a conversation. Melinda and I decided that the best response was complete silence and no eye contact while being surrounded with sympathetic Cambodian women. I got so irritated with them all that even if I had needed a ride, I would not have accepted it from one of these drivers but would have tried to find someone who was not in my face about selling their product.

So this was the state we were in for our first half hour or so after arriving in Siem Reap. Melinda and I sat around a bit, hanging out by the women at the coke stand with tuk-tuk drivers offering their services every few seconds while Maria made several phone calls trying to find out where our Christian travel agent/guide was and if he was indeed going to pick us up. He did, just a little late. But when he appeared, he was like a knight in shining armor for us in the midst of the chaos and pressure. "Same" (his nickname) was so gracious and kind and obviously honest that I could tell right away that he was a believer. He had a taxi hired for us for the day which the four of us climbed into and soon were swept away from all memories of maddening drivers. Same could speak English very well and we could tell right away that he was an excellent travel agent because he knew just what questions to ask about our visit and just what places to recommend (which he did in a very humble and gracious manner). And with every place he suggested, he told us how much it would typically cost through his travel agency (or for a regular tourist) but then told us how much we would need to pay. He got us a hotel room, sight-seeing tickets, dinner, and more for almost 1/2 the price they would have been, making no profit for himself. We kept asking how and why he would do this for us. His reason: "You are Christian, I am Christian. We are same, same." The Lord again blessed us - more than we could have asked or imagined. Same planned out our entire day of sight-seeing at Anchor Wat and made us dinner reservations at a lovely Cambodian buffet restaurant where we could see traditional Cambodian dancers, then took us out to a market afterwards and made sure we were set for the next day.

Because he had work to do at his job, Same could not stay with us the entire day, but he met up with us before dinner and ended up being able to join us for the meal. Earlier on in the day, Melinda had asked him how and when he became a Christian and while we ate, he shared with us pieces of his testimony. Then he ended up opening up to us and sharing how since he moved to Siem Reap a year or so ago, he had not been able to get Sundays off of work and thus had not been really involved in a church much. He has only been a believer a little over a year, I think, and was now feeling very alone in his walk and very far from God. He asked us what he should do and listened as we shared different things from the Bible that had helped us. By the end of dinner, he seemed so encouraged (as were we!) and told us how God had worked out so many things during that day so that he could get away from work and actually spend time with us. He really felt that God had sent us to him to help him draw closer to God again. The whole thing was very amazing. We all parted ways filled with great joy!

Friday night I began to feel very icky and Saturday morning woke up nauseous. And what a day to feel nauseous! Saturday we were to make our way back to Phnom Penh - this time traveling by boat! This boat ride on the river was actually the thing I was looking forward to the most about our whole trip to Cambodia. Sadly, I ended up not being able to enjoy it at all. I threw up in the hotel room before we left, then again after we got to the boat dock (after having ridden in a crowded pick-up truck with exhaust coming through the windows along bumpy roads for a 1/2 hour), then threw up a third time in the boat. The smell of gasoline in the motor-boat made me feel worse, as did trying to look out the windows at the passing shoreline. So I curled up on the seats on the bottom deck of the boat, plugged up my nose and tried to sleep through the entire 6-hour ride. So much for seeing the beautiful river and aquatic life! When we arrived in Phnom Penh, it was more harassment from tuk-tuk drivers (which is doubly annoying when you feel like throwing up), more waiting on our wonderful, already hired tuk-tuk driver, then confusion in communicating with him which delayed our return back to dorm at least an hour. Almost 3 hours later, we were finally back at the girls' dorm where I could lay down on a bed and really rest. Melinda and Maria were wonderful to me and even though I ruined our sight-seeing plans for the remainder of the day, they faithfully took care of me - getting me water and crackers and coke, reading to me as I fell asleep, checking up on me every few minutes. They were amazing.

Also amazing was the Cambodian girls' response. Saturday night was their regularly scheduled English class. Since we were there and knew English very well : ), we had decided to help in any way we could. When class time came, I did not feel up to going and teaching, but Melinda and Maria did and were able to serve them in that way. Turns out the curriculum they were using taught English through Bible stories and the lesson they were on was about Jesus healing Peter's mother-in-law. As she explained the vocab., Melinda shared how she had a sick friend upstairs. Later one of the Cambodian girls asked if they could come up and pray for me! Three of them came up to our room and we sat down and all prayed together, "Thai-style" (which I'm now guessing is also "Cambodian-style"): all praying out loud at the same time. It was so cool to hear 3 languages at once being offered up in prayer to the Father! We prayed for them as well, after hearing a bit about their needs. I was so touched by their love and faith and concern for me! Also amazing was the fact that one of the girls who came up to pray was Muslim. She did not pray, but sat and listened and gave me many kind smiles.

So in the amazingly good and even in the (physically) miserable, God's hand was obviously on our trip and blessed us at each turn. He encouraged me, taught me, opened my eyes, gave me rest and refreshment and many good gifts along the way. He is so good!

Please, please continue to pray for my health though! (Can you tell I'm getting desperate?) I seem to be in a pattern of 2 weeks well/1 week sick this fall - except this past week it heightened to 3 days sick, 2 days well, then 2 days (so far) sick again. I still do not feel completely well and don't really feel up to eating much. And this all before 3 very stressful weeks of last-minute Christmas concert preparations!! Regardless of how I feel tomorrow, though, I have to go to work (my string classes need as much rehearsal time as they can get at this point!). Please pray that God will heal me and keep me well until at least January!!

Journal from Friday, November 24

2006-11-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

I’m now on a bus traveling from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap (Cambodia). The first couple hours have been spent in wonderful, edifying conversation with Melinda, while my eyes have been glued to the beautiful landscape passing before us. I feel like I’m driving through a CEF missionary story: rice fields, palm trees, one room thatch-roofed houses on stilts with white cows tied up underneath; agricultural workers in the fields wearing coolie straw hats and leading pairs of yoked oxen; Buddhist wats (and schools?) with kids running around barefoot outside, their bicycles parked all in a row beside the gate. It’s all so green, simple and picturesque – I can’t help but love it. I smile at these wonderful people and am thrilled when they give me a big smile in return. What a happy place – probably largely due to the time of peace and relief they are experiencing after their land has recently been so torn apart by war. And I wonder, too, if the simplicity of these little villages lends itself to greater contentment in life when they are so far from the materialism and rat race of our more modern culture. All in all, it is a beautiful thing to see. And so good to be out of the crowded, dirty, busy city of Bangkok.

I am traveling with two friends from Prong Jai [the smaller campus at ICS where I teach one day a week]: Melinda (K5 teacher) and Maria (secretary/nurse/substitute/aide/everything!). Our Cambodia trip was planned largely by my wonderful Thai friend, Maria, who has Thai missionary connections in Cambodia and in general, understands Southeast Asian travel better than either Melinda or I. I must admit that I am very excited to be on this trip as it is my first true backpacking travel experience. And what an adventure! I feel like I’m actually experiencing the life and culture of the Cambodians around me (although I know I’m still very much viewed by them as the “farong” tourist that I am!). I (rather uncharacteristically!) packed light for our 4-day trip, carrying everything on my back. We’re seeing the city in a tuk-tuk and the countryside in a bus in which we are the only foreign passengers. Using “toilets” (most of which are Asian squatty-potties!) at stops along the way – only partially enclosed buildings with no toilet paper (and no way to flush it if you choose to buy tissue), no soap, and a manual “bucket and scoop” flush system. (They have these in Bangkok as well – just seems more rugged here.) The girls’ dorm we stayed in last night, though spacious, was also very non-Western. No A/C, so we spent the night (still quite hot in late November) with windows open, fans on (which I didn’t end up feeling), sleeping on a platform bed with a thin foam mattress, no top-sheet and mosquito-net covering. (Other than the heat, it was actually better than being under my expensive Satin sheets and getting bitten throughout the night! I’m seriously considering investing in a mosquito net.) When I “showered” last night, the biggest question on my mind was not whether or not they’d have hot water but rather whether the running water would actually come out (it did, albeit in spurts). Cool water has never felt so good, though, after spending the day so hot and sticky and dirty. But we are traveling cheap – We are giving a comparatively “generous” donation of $5 a person per night for the aforementioned missionary dorm (they weren’t going to charge us anything, I don’t think). Our 5-6 hour bus trip is about $4/person. Renting a tuk-tuk for an entire day is $14 (divided by 3, of course). My ice-coffee and baguette breakfast on the streets was less than 70 cents. This whole experience is showing me how wealthy, spoiled, weighed down with “stuff” and snobbish I am compared to the greater population of the world. And it is helping me redefine the term “basic life needs.”

So my Thanksgiving Day was spend in such a non-traditional way that Melinda and I had to keep reminding each other what day it was! I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to take a 5:00 taxi to the airport to meet the other girls for a 7:00 flight. The flight (also very inexpensive on a cheap airline) was delayed, so after rushing to get on the little plane, we were all asked to get off 5 minutes later and ended up waiting almost 2 hours in the airport terminal. We spend that whole time in conversation with a very friendly, interesting Australian girl who was traveling alone. We arrived in Phnom Penh around 11:00 a.m. and were picked up by a very sweet Cambodian girl who works with the Thai missionary couple that Maria knows. She (can’t remember and could never pronounce her name! : ( ) took us to their house to visit for a bit before the man (OMF missionary and pastor of the church there) took the 4 of us out to lunch. He spoke English, Thai and Khmer all very well and was such a welcoming host, so we were able to enjoy a very interesting and encouraging conversation over a traditional Cambodian meal (which was very much like Thai food except less spicy). This man came to Cambodia about 10 years ago, at which time there were around 2,000 Christians in this country. He said that number has grown to the 100,000s today. In addition to pastoring his church of 100, he and the other missionaries also oversee the women’s dorm where we spent the night. Several years ago, one of the single women who worked with the team developed a heart for all the many girls who she worked with in the factory. This woman was able to buy (?) an old hotel and open it up as a dormitory for these girls to stay for an extremely small fee. There are about a dozen girls there now – “girls” between the ages of about 17-25 – and all seem to be so happy. And, although we weren’t able to really communicate with them due to the lack of a common language, they really seemed to have developed a neat community there. The Cambodian girl who picked us up from the airport, in addition to working as a security guard at the Parliament building, lives as kind of a “dorm mother” with the girls. Although she only has a 4th grade education (having had to quit school because of the war), she teaches Bible at the church and holds Bible studies for the girls at the dorm – some of which are Buddhist and Muslim, but all of which come, I think. It was very encouraging to hear these reports of what God is doing in another country.

In addition to blessing us through this man’s hospitality and conversation, God also used him to serve us as a fatherly protector of us single girls in a foreign country. He asked Maria about the details of our trip and then recommended the safest, cheapest, and all-around best modes of transportation and places to see. He put us in contact with another Christian man and travel agent in Siem Reap and before we parted ways, sat our tuk-tuk driver down and told him exactly where to take us for the remainder of the day. It was a beautiful picture to me of the body of Christ and the bond we have with other believers that supercedes all cultural and language barriers.

The most impactful event of the remainder of the day was our visit to the Tuol Sleng genocide museum. It was a former Khmer Rouge prison, used for housing, interrogating, torturing and killing over 12,000 people during the Khmer regime between the years of 1975 and 1978. It was probably the most horrific thing I have ever seen, between walking through all of the stark prison cells to reading personal journals written by relatives of the prisoners and other historical markers and information about what happened. We walked through room after room full of billboards that were covered with photographs of the prisoners – men, women and children – both before and after they were tortured. One room showed many of the torture devices used as they mercilessly interrogated these Cambodians. It’s hard to believe that the human mind could invent something so barbarous. As I walked slowly through the prison cells, I wondered which was more shocking and horrifying: that a group of government officials could actually carry out such a massive slaughter of people or that no one tried to stop them, no one was willing to fight on behalf of these oppressed. (I do not know the whole history – I certainly want to read more now – I’m sure there were people who tried, but I’m amazed that the majority of the world was either apathetic or ignorant of all that was going on – and all this happened less than 30 years ago!) And as my eyes beheld these sickening sights, I wondered why I or anyone else would even want to see them and take an afternoon to learn more or remember about what happened. As soon as the question entered my mind, the answer followed: we all need to know about this so that it will NEVER happen again.

The visit to the prison showed me how low mankind can stoop and the true nature of sin – how sickening, deceptive, merciless, and binding it really is.

I am so grateful Melinda was on this trip with me. Before bed we had a long discussion about all that we had seen – I certainly needed a debriefing session to sort through all the emotions I was feeling. We talked, prayed, and cried about it all – and actually much of our conversation led to thanks and praise to God, especially as we were thinking of it all in light of our American holiday and comparing it to our own incredibly blessed lives. I learned so much from being there and talking with her that it would be impossible to write it all down. But one of the most important things I saw in the pictures of captivity and torture was my Savior…

As we prayed, I saw so vividly the cross and my Jesus. As I thought about the torture that so many Cambodians had undergone during their time at the prison, I realized that Jesus Christ went through that exact same torture on the cross. Somehow in my safe, PG-rated world, I’m not used to seeing such horrific pain and agony. Seeing all of the photographs gave me a picture of what the cross and road up to it must have looked like. Jesus suffered just like these – but with one major difference: Most were innocent and did not deserve to be there, just like Jesus, but each of those Cambodian nationals was helpless and had no means of escape. They were taken from their villages and homes without time to run away or place to hide or power to fight. Not so with Christ. He who made the heavens and the earth, for which nothing is impossible or too difficult to carry out (Jeremiah 32:17), willingly submitted Himself to this kind of pain and torture. The high priests, Sanhedrin, Roman government, Jewish people did not force Him to be beaten, scourged, nailed, pierced – He could have broken away from them at any point. No, He laid down His life at every turn during His time on earth and ultimately to the point of death. Why? For me. For this lost world. For all of us who wouldn’t ever understand, truly “get it” or thank Him rightly for it. So great is His love for us!

I Got a Pet!

2006-11-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

Actually, 6 of them. Six small, brightly colored, female tropical fish. They are very pretty and hopefully will all adjust well in their new little home (which is sitting on top of the end table beside the Thai-style lamp in my "living room").

I must admit, as cute as my little girls are, I bought them primarily for utilitarian purposes. They are mosquito-eating fish. When I did the internet research on mosquitoes, I discovered on a "natural" solutions website that a safer way of getting rid of them, as opposed to insecticides, would be to either keep chickens, lizards or fish. Since taking care of chickens seemed a bit, um, impractical in my one-room 4th floor apartment and having a lizard around was a bit undesirable to me personally (although my friend next door had a gecko - not on purpose! - for a few months and didn't have any problem with insects), I decided fish were my only option. Tonight I went out to dinner with several people and the restaurant we went to seemed to be in the middle of the "pet store" district! (Well, not really, but there were several pet stores around!). Afterwards when everyone else was looking at the husky puppies, I inquired (through my Thai friend) about the fish and before I knew it, I ended up with 6 fish (buy 5 get 1 free!), fish food, a small tank and an oxygen pump.

I'm very excited about them - although now I have to think about the great responsibilities of fish-keeping: feeding twice a day, cleaning the tank, getting a fish-sitter when I go out of town... But if it gets me a full night's sleep, I'll be happy. This week I'm 3-0 for getting bitten in the middle of the night.

I'll post a picture soon! : )

Beaten Down

2006-11-06T04:14:00.000-08:00

This past week I feel like I've been beaten down time after time on several different fronts. But before I share about this week, let me just say how good God is. I've been concerned recently that the only things coming out of my mouth are self-centered complaints: that I'm becoming "calamity girl" who only has a new story to share about her own woes and very little of anything edifying to offer. If I grow in any way from this, I hope I become a person who offers praise to the Lord at all times and who considers others' hurts and needs before my own. Not quite there yet...still a far way to grow.

But God has been good. He has continued to fill me with joy. Concerning my Christmas concerts, He is taking care of them. He is helping me find the people and resources I need to get ready for the concerts early. He is helping the children to learn their music and, I believe, love it as much as I do. They are right on schedule, I think, for this time in the preparation weeks leading up to the concert. God has provided for many opportunities for me to talk to them about Christ, His birth and why He came. I am sorry I have not seized even more of those opportunities, but at each one, it always seems that there are one or two students in particular who are really intently listening. All listen politely, all are hearing, but some students really seem to want to know. Today I shared my testimony with the K5 classes, which was so cool for me because I was 5 myself when I first received Christ! And in one of the songs they are learning it says that Jesus was "born to save the world from sin, born to make us new within" - which is exactly how I felt after I "invited Jesus into my heart." They also listened eagerly to my story.

God is also continuing to build a community for me here. In addition to the wonderful MTW retreat, I've spent some very good times with large groups of ICS teachers (at the "Fall Party" and again tonight at a BBQ for everyone in our apartment building) and enjoyed getting to know them all better. I'm also enjoying meeting and praying with Kristi and Amber, my two "spiritual partners" on a weekly basis. And a few times recently, two of the other girls in my apartment building (Jen and Shawnna) and I have cooked and eaten dinner together, which was a really wonderful time of fellowship.

Oh, and God gave me a very special gift last week! I was walking back to my apartment after swimming laps and all the sudden, I smelled home!!! I stopped short and took a big whiff and then searched around to try and figure out where in the midst of Bangkok (which typically has a very wide variety of smells, ranging from street food to exhaust/gas/pollution to a backed-up sewer) I could be smelling my yard and neighborhood. I realized that it was coming from a whole row of trees on the one side of the Elementary building. They have hundreds of little flowers that had fallen and scattered all around that walkway and they smelled exactly like the Jasmine vine in our backyard at home. Someone told me later that those are Jasmine trees - which I didn't even know existed, but it makes perfect sense ("scents" - ha, ha! alright, bad joke...). So God gave me flowers - not a bouquet but about 6-7 trees of them - with my favorite aroma in the world. : )

It seems that every time I am filled with joy or pleasure in my work or life in Bangkok, though, something happens to either shake it or takes so much needless energy that it almost distracts me from it. This week it seemed to be a series of "little" things that led to one frustrated and then really sick Catherine. First it was my bank card again - which got eaten by the ATM machine on campus. This meant rushing to the bank two more afternoons after school to apply for and then pick up my now third card (and trying to communicate my needs to the workers at the bank when they don't know English and I don't know Thai). Then I've had a least 3 more nights this week when mosquitoes either woke me up or kept me up. The second night, I was so angry at the mosquito that had bitten my arms, face and even feet - yes, they were under the sheets - and frustrated at not being able to sleep that I got up and googled "mosquitoes" trying to find out if there was anything else I could possibly do to get them out of my apartment (I have already tried a whole list of things) or make myself less desirable to them. As to the last thing, I discovered that I can stop using scented soap/shampoo (which I may try), stop being "warm" at night and stop breathing (they like CO2). I've tried a few other "apartment" things since that night which have helped a little but have not completed eradicated them. And looking around me this evening, I think I'm in for another frustrating night of sleep.

Then Wednesday, after a week of feeling more healthy again, I had a headache all day, which turned into a sinus headache and fever on Thursday which then worsened and turn into a few other things Friday and Saturday. I taught Wednesday and Thursday, but had to leave after one meeting on Friday (our "inservice" day) because I was too weak and tired to sit through meetings. I stayed in my apartment almost the entire two days and felt worse (and ate less) than I had in a long time. Needless to say, my grand weekend plans of going to the High School International school choral festival and going Christmas shopping with some of the Thai girls who work at ICS were cancelled. I was pretty discouraged and, well, beaten down.

God was good to me in the midst of the sickness. I did not get as depressed as I have at other times in the past few months when stuck up alone in my apartment for a whole day or more. Probably part of the reason was I had a few visitors! (And was able to talk to my family and a few friends long distance too! : ) Amber particularly blessed me by bringing over a whole load of "Catherine Get-Better" stuff: chicken soup (Thai style), bottles of water, tea bags, gatorade, bread, Beth Moore DVDs and more. She ate dinner and talked with me a bit on Friday night. God showed me He could still take care of me when I feel miserable, even when my family is not near to help. (Although I will say just hearing my mom's voice when I called her made a HUGE difference in how well I felt!)

So why? Why all of these things at once? I'm so glad I talked to both Kim and Dave on Sunday at/after church about this week. I had been wondering what I was doing wrong. Trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me. Have I really been trying to do so much in my own strength that He keeps having to break my strength to prove it's Him? I haven't really felt like I've had a chance to feel strong in a while - at least not strong enough to do great things "for" God. Both Kim and Dave in two separate conversations said that it really sounds like spiritual warfare. That Satan hates it when God's children take pleasure in their Father and that, of course, he's going to do his best to strip it away in whatever means possible. Dave also talked about the ways he's seen Satan try to strip away different team member's sense of calling with repeated attacks in certain areas. In a lot of ways, this week (and what he said) only strengthens my sense of calling to be here doing what I'm doing. Praise God for grace-filled, Godly counselors.

Please keep praying. Not only for me, but for the rest of the MTW team as they also have dealt with ministry frustrations, sleeping problems and health concerns since the retreat. Also, please continue to be in prayer for the Christmas concerts and the hearts of the children that are growing more and more dear to me each week.

Khao Lak

2006-10-25T06:42:00.000-07:00

On the beach

2006-10-25T06:37:00.000-07:00

kid's retreat

2006-10-25T06:34:00.000-07:00

MTW Retreat

2006-10-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying for the retreat this past weekend!! God over and abundantly answered every prayer request (except maybe one - I'll share later...) that I asked you to pray for in my last post. The retreat was AMAZING - in every way. I will try to express a little of that in words, then hopefully the pictures will share some of the rest.

The "kid's retreat" went so very well! The children were very sweet to each other and obedient the whole weekend and seemed to enjoy what we had planned. God provided the most perfect area for us to use at the resort - which was one of my biggest worries! I was afraid that we might all be stuck up in a small hotel room, but the resort had a kids play area that was outdoors but covered and filled with play equipment that was perfect for our children's ages (you should have seen PJ and Aidan and the other boys driving around in the little cars - I think they would have been happy to just drive around the room all weekend!). That area was connected to a little bit larger area that we could run around and play games in. Also, the resort was not crowded and there were so few kids there that I don't think we were bothering anyone else and we had the room/area almost entirely to ourselves. We also were able to take the kids to the beach several times to look for shells and other "treasures" and build sandcastles and we took them on other walks around the resort. God caused the weather to fit perfectly with the retreat schedule - it only rained when we were all in meetings! The "teaching" time went very well. The kids seemed to listen better and better each time (with the exception of the last when we had one screaming 2 year old that proved to be a bit of a distraction to the rest of the group!) and they also seemed to enjoy the stories we acted out and the activities we had planned to go along with them. None of the kids had a big problem with leaving their parents during the hours we took them and I cannot count the number of "thank yous" I received from the team members. The adults seemed incredibly blessed by the sessions free of "kid distractions" or interruptions and by the time of fellowship and team-building they were able to have together. I think the entire (adult) team was very enriched and encouraged by the retreat and came back to Bangkok "full" - which is exactly what I was praying for.

Khao Lak was amazingly beautiful. I really cannot describe to you how amazing and beautiful this resort and island was nor how refreshing it was just to BE there. As soon as we got out of the plane on Phuket, I could tell a difference in the cleanness and smell of the air. We drove about an hour from the airport to the resort and it was so secluded and peaceful and quiet - I'm not sure I've ever been to a place quite like it. The beach was gorgeous and when we walked along the coast or swam out in the water, it felt like we were the only ones there (except for maybe a few Thai fishermen or women gathering mussels on the rocks). The hotel bed was a lot more comfortable than the one in my apartment, so I felt like I was able to get some good sleep, and the whole 3 days there was just so relaxing. In my "off" times, I was able to go on walks, swim, read, take naps, get a massage and pedicure at the spa, snorkel, play games with the team members, eat good food and just sit! I spent the entire weekend walking on air and looking around asking myself in wonder, "How exactly did I end up here?!" It's one of those beautiful mysteries of serving the Lord, I think: that just in the midst of the sacrifice and tired service, He grants His children the most beautiful, loveliest of gifts, causing them to say with joy that He is good and that He gives back 10-fold whatever was sacrificed.

Needless to say, I wasn't so very much eager to come back to Bangkok and work! And here's where I still need prayer... The amazing thing is that God provided times of rest and refreshment this past weekend and gave me strength to watch the children at the exact times I needed them. However, I never got fully well. My sore throat went away but a cough came and today it changed into a pretty bad sinus headache and pressure. I woke up this morning feeling very tired and yucky and have taken sinus medicine all day. God has been so good through this: it actually is a (comparatively) good week to be sick as it is a "lighter" teaching week (only 4 days this week and many classes are having their "music fun day" which requires less singing and somewhat less planning/energy on my part) and I was (unusually) very prepared going into it, so I've been able to leave work at 4:30 (early for me!) yesterday and today and rest in the evenings. And He has upheld my strength while at work. But I must admit that I am discouraged by how long this sickness has lingered on (or that it keeps coming back) and wish that I could be healthy again. God is helping me see His purpose in it though. This morning I had a "Duh!" moment while I was staring blankly/sleepily at the wall when I was trying to read my Bible and pray. I asked God in my frustration, "Why can't I just be back to full strength again so that I can teach and serve better here?" Then I realized - "Hello, Catherine! This is what the Lord keeps trying to grind into your little mind at every turn: 'My strength is made PERFECT in weakness. My grace is sufficient for you!!" I seem to have a hard time grasping this. Yes, I see God providing daily strength to go to work and live here, but I still somehow think that I would do a better job of loving my students and sharing the gospel with them and serving others and seeking God if I was my normal healthy, strong, alert self. But God is making it painfully obvious that whatever good comes out of me living in Bangkok is from Him alone. I'd appreciate it if you would keep all these things in your prayers: my health/strength, attitude and above all, God's glory in this.

Thank you. : )