stupid prayers (from Thursday)
I have determined that many of the prayers I’ve been praying for the last several years are…well…stupid.For example, “God, make me like Christ!” It struck me the other day just exactly what this means, and I thought, “Who wants to be like Christ?!” We somehow think this means that we’ll be beautiful, patient, gentle and compassionate people – and it does. But taking a closer look at what Christ was like, I’m not sure I really want to do all that He did. “Yes – make me one who doesn’t get what I want (ever) and constantly does what I don’t want to do so that others will benefit! Let me be the first to serve, the first to lay down my life, the first to suffer!” Oh boy, doesn’t that sound like fun?
Or how about this one: “I want to know Christ!” Somehow I envisioned this “learning of Christ” looking a little differently. A little more intellectual but with a big burst of wonderful “feeling” of His great love for me. His definition, I’m discovering, is quite different: knowing the “power of His resurrection” (yes!) “and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death” (no!). So now I get to experience the separation from everything that speaks perfection to me in order to come to where it is not perfect (and I might add, much harder in many ways) so I can daily lay down my life in service to others. Again, oh boy.
“Take the world but give me Jesus!” Well, you can see where that got me...
Since God seems to be on a roll, answering so many of my prayers, I think I’ll start asking for other things: maybe for a boyfriend or to be rich and comfortable or better yet, to go home. Somehow, I don’t think He’ll answer those requests though. Supposedly, He has a better, more eternal plan to carry out – I just wish this “better plan” didn’t involve such a painful process!
posted by Catherine Rogers @ 6:55 AM
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