God's Sufficient Grace

Next Step

Mom and Dad told me a few weeks ago that people at home have been asking what my plans are for next year. People have been asking since last year when I came home at Christmas and I've been saying the same thing each time: "I feel like I need to wait until I've gone back after the summer and live some of a “second year” in Bangkok before I'll be able to make an informed decision as to how long I should stay here." The first year was such an emotional rollar-coaster ride - with one minute me being thrilled to be here, the next ready to pack up and move back home - it was hard to even begin to see clearly what God had for me.

The last few months of this "second year" have been good. One of the best parts about it has been being in the same place more than one year, not having to face constant "newness" and not having to worry about making a massive, life-altering decision. I decided to not even seriously think or pray about the upcoming decision of next year until the middle of October, not so much because I didn't want seek God about it, but more that I wanted to enjoy where He had placed me and thought that the best act of trust in His guidance and provision would be to actually not think about it constantly. And He has given me the grace to not worry about it.

Well, it's the middle of October now and I was reminded of that fact by an email from our administration saying that letters of intent would be passed out next month and then would need to be returned by early December (earlier than they were for teachers last year, due to struggles with recruiting teachers this year). So consequently the "decision" (I feel like that word should be accompanied by some ominous "dum, dum, dum DUM" kind of sound effect!) is now occupying much more of my thoughts and prayers.

Last weekend, I must admit, I began to get more anxious about it too. There are pulls on many sides: many possibilities exist, all of which seem to be very good and all of which tug at at least one piece of my heart. So I need much prayer for guidance as I walk through this process of sorting through things and determining where God wants me to be next year.

The beautiful thing is, however, that the anxiety of last weekend was short lived. God is really giving me the amazing ability to wait on Him about this and to be content in not knowing the full picture. That has almost never been the case in the past. But the more I live life, the more happy I am in knowing only the little bit that lies ahead and being able to entrust the rest to God. I remember one time when I was a teenager, I came to my dad, asking him about the future and why didn't God just let us know everything that was going to happen at one time. My dad asked me instead what I would think if God told me that twenty years down the road I'd be taken captive in a foreign country, watching my husband and children being brutally murdered before my eyes - would I really want to know the whole picture? I decided I probably wouldn't be able to handle that knowledge. It's a hard thought but one that's stuck with me. And it's true - the more things that happen in my present, I realize that several years ago I would not have had the ability to accept or handle them at that time. But God's grace is sufficient for each day when it arrives: it's not early and it's not late. So I delight to wait on Him in the knowledge that whatever He asks of me for next year, the ability to do that thing (or accept His will in that) will also be there when the time arrives.

The other beautiful thing that He's been doing through this time of seeking Him is He has been making my path clear and has been guiding me as to what I should do, just as I've asked Him to. Last weekend I prayed that He would speak into my confusion through His word and He DID! Through Scriptures quoted in a sermon I was reading and then the next day in a sermon I heard in worship. And it was such a direct answer to my questions that I felt like both were spoken to ME! (The same thing happened again in yesterday's sermon, except in that case I really am suspicious that Dave was directing his comments at me! : ) And not only that, but my parents have shared some very insightful things, not only about my different "options" but about where they (who know me so well) see my heart is and what their own hearts are leaning towards. Thank God for godly parents who love the Lord and are so incredibly wise!! So God is making it clear, step by step, and I feel confident that He will bring me to complete peace as to how I should respond in December.

Some of my favorite verses that I keep going back to…

”Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!...How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” Isaiah 30:18-21

posted by Catherine Rogers @ 5:34 AM