God's Sufficient Grace

Heart to Change the World

Tonight while I was praying I turned on the song "Heart to Change the World" and almost immediately started weeping. If truth be told, I was already crying before I listened to that song, but when I heard the words of it again, I completely lost it. Partly because it brought back so many precious, precious memories of my children's choir kids at Pinewood and my own family and the process we all walked through and grew in the year before I came to Thailand as we worked on that musical. It made me miss home and long for everyone there so much! And not only that, but ache for the continued growth of all those I love at home in having a heart for the nations. I prayed for many of the children by name tonight...I wished I had my old choir roster in my hands so I wouldn't forget anyone!

But I also wept because of my own heart and what those lyrics revealed in what is lacking within. Do I really have a heart to change the world? Supposedly I'm in Thailand for that reason, but is that what is really driving me being or staying here?

The last few weeks have been filled will longer, more intense times of seeking God's face as I try to figure out what He desires for my future. He has not yet made the "ICS decision" clear, but He has most certainly heard my prayers and has met me in those times of praying with His Spirit to do His work in my heart. He's been revealing many things to me - much about Himself and much about myself. Lots of sin and impure motives in my decision-making have come to the surface and have needed to be confessed.

Tonight was no exception. Do I have a heart to change the world? Do I long for my students and Thai friends and neighbors to come to know Christ? I've been thinking a lot this past week about the great things - almost miracles! - God has done in response to my/our prayers. He is so powerful and truly does hear when we cry out to Him! Every prayer answered has encouraged me to pray more often and more specifically and then to wait more expectantly for Him to answer it. I think about how hopeful and even sure (Heb. 11:1) I was that the Lord would return the violin - and He did! Why don't I pray that specifically and expectantly about vastly more important things than lost violins and teacher openings at our school? God has been revealing my prayerlessness and faithlessness when it comes to the salvation of my students. I often try to be - and hopefully am - faithful in proclaiming the Word during class (with more or less passion, depending on the day or subject at hand), but so often I just figure that all that I say either will or won't be remembered by these students and that eventually everything that all of us teachers are teaching them about the Word will not return void but will accomplish what God desires. I believe all of that to be true, from what the Bible says, and it keeps me humble knowing that whatever comes of my little service is God's work. But there is no urgency or expectation in that and I am rarely ready to see God's work when it does happen.

God has been convicting my heart to pray for my students more specifically and to be more watchful about His work in the near future. One thing I've started to pray for (and that I would ask you to also pray for, my effective pray-ers!) is for one-on-one, "gospel" conversations with my older students. With around 200 students, it's rare to ever have one-on-one conversations with any of them, but more often this past year, I've had students come to my room after school to pick up instruments or practice or hand in assignments. It's been fun to see them more often and get to know them a bit outside of class, but please pray that some of those conversations will be longer and go deeper. And pray that I'll be ready for them when God does answer this prayer! : )

The Lord is so patient with me and my apathetic, faithless heart! It is moments like these that I am so grateful my salvation and His forgiving of me rests in something (Someone) other than myself - something so sure, that is already completed. Thank the Lord for His great mercy!

You and I've got to have a heart to change the world
Let the song start to sing in every boy and girl
Start to share, start to care, from a heart of love
Let the world know that Jesus loves them

Jesus told us to go and share in every land
Over seas, through the hills, across the desert sand
Start to share, start to care, from a heart of love
Let the world know that Jesus loves them

How will the people know? How will the people know?
How will the people know unless we show them?

By God's grace, in God's strength, we can change the world
Let the world know that Jesus loves them.

posted by Catherine Rogers @ 6:30 AM