God's Sufficient Grace: October 2006

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Khao Lak

On the beach

kid's retreat

MTW Retreat

Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying for the retreat this past weekend!! God over and abundantly answered every prayer request (except maybe one - I'll share later...) that I asked you to pray for in my last post. The retreat was AMAZING - in every way. I will try to express a little of that in words, then hopefully the pictures will share some of the rest.

The "kid's retreat" went so very well! The children were very sweet to each other and obedient the whole weekend and seemed to enjoy what we had planned. God provided the most perfect area for us to use at the resort - which was one of my biggest worries! I was afraid that we might all be stuck up in a small hotel room, but the resort had a kids play area that was outdoors but covered and filled with play equipment that was perfect for our children's ages (you should have seen PJ and Aidan and the other boys driving around in the little cars - I think they would have been happy to just drive around the room all weekend!). That area was connected to a little bit larger area that we could run around and play games in. Also, the resort was not crowded and there were so few kids there that I don't think we were bothering anyone else and we had the room/area almost entirely to ourselves. We also were able to take the kids to the beach several times to look for shells and other "treasures" and build sandcastles and we took them on other walks around the resort. God caused the weather to fit perfectly with the retreat schedule - it only rained when we were all in meetings! The "teaching" time went very well. The kids seemed to listen better and better each time (with the exception of the last when we had one screaming 2 year old that proved to be a bit of a distraction to the rest of the group!) and they also seemed to enjoy the stories we acted out and the activities we had planned to go along with them. None of the kids had a big problem with leaving their parents during the hours we took them and I cannot count the number of "thank yous" I received from the team members. The adults seemed incredibly blessed by the sessions free of "kid distractions" or interruptions and by the time of fellowship and team-building they were able to have together. I think the entire (adult) team was very enriched and encouraged by the retreat and came back to Bangkok "full" - which is exactly what I was praying for.

Khao Lak was amazingly beautiful. I really cannot describe to you how amazing and beautiful this resort and island was nor how refreshing it was just to BE there. As soon as we got out of the plane on Phuket, I could tell a difference in the cleanness and smell of the air. We drove about an hour from the airport to the resort and it was so secluded and peaceful and quiet - I'm not sure I've ever been to a place quite like it. The beach was gorgeous and when we walked along the coast or swam out in the water, it felt like we were the only ones there (except for maybe a few Thai fishermen or women gathering mussels on the rocks). The hotel bed was a lot more comfortable than the one in my apartment, so I felt like I was able to get some good sleep, and the whole 3 days there was just so relaxing. In my "off" times, I was able to go on walks, swim, read, take naps, get a massage and pedicure at the spa, snorkel, play games with the team members, eat good food and just sit! I spent the entire weekend walking on air and looking around asking myself in wonder, "How exactly did I end up here?!" It's one of those beautiful mysteries of serving the Lord, I think: that just in the midst of the sacrifice and tired service, He grants His children the most beautiful, loveliest of gifts, causing them to say with joy that He is good and that He gives back 10-fold whatever was sacrificed.

Needless to say, I wasn't so very much eager to come back to Bangkok and work! And here's where I still need prayer... The amazing thing is that God provided times of rest and refreshment this past weekend and gave me strength to watch the children at the exact times I needed them. However, I never got fully well. My sore throat went away but a cough came and today it changed into a pretty bad sinus headache and pressure. I woke up this morning feeling very tired and yucky and have taken sinus medicine all day. God has been so good through this: it actually is a (comparatively) good week to be sick as it is a "lighter" teaching week (only 4 days this week and many classes are having their "music fun day" which requires less singing and somewhat less planning/energy on my part) and I was (unusually) very prepared going into it, so I've been able to leave work at 4:30 (early for me!) yesterday and today and rest in the evenings. And He has upheld my strength while at work. But I must admit that I am discouraged by how long this sickness has lingered on (or that it keeps coming back) and wish that I could be healthy again. God is helping me see His purpose in it though. This morning I had a "Duh!" moment while I was staring blankly/sleepily at the wall when I was trying to read my Bible and pray. I asked God in my frustration, "Why can't I just be back to full strength again so that I can teach and serve better here?" Then I realized - "Hello, Catherine! This is what the Lord keeps trying to grind into your little mind at every turn: 'My strength is made PERFECT in weakness. My grace is sufficient for you!!" I seem to have a hard time grasping this. Yes, I see God providing daily strength to go to work and live here, but I still somehow think that I would do a better job of loving my students and sharing the gospel with them and serving others and seeking God if I was my normal healthy, strong, alert self. But God is making it painfully obvious that whatever good comes out of me living in Bangkok is from Him alone. I'd appreciate it if you would keep all these things in your prayers: my health/strength, attitude and above all, God's glory in this.

Thank you. : )

Friday, October 20, 2006

my exciting weekend!

Before I share about this upcoming weekend, I feel like I need to give a quick update on the last couple of weeks since my post about the wallet:

God has been incredibly good to me! I have been amazed by His kindness, protection, and love displayed in numerous ways each day. My wallet and everything in it was never found or returned, but I was able to cancel my credit card and bank card before anything happened. Also, when I called the U.S. Embassy on the day it was stolen and expressed my concern about the copy of my passport which was in the wallet, the man on the phone (an American! How refreshing to speak to a fellow American at such a time!) did not seem concerned at all since it was not the real thing. I have since gotten a new bank/ATM card and in the week or so when it was being made and I did not have access to my money, the Lord provided for every need of mine and more than enough cash to get me through the week so that I didn't even have to borrow (well, sort of from my parents, but...). So He is good.

Not only has He provided and protected me since, but I have felt stronger and healthier last week than I have in a while - which was a wonderful thing because it was a super busy week at school. So I had the energy to work very long days and even last weekend! (And believe me, after being stuck up alone in my apartment for a few days, I was very ready to get back to work!) The Lord has also flooded me with an incredible peace and contentment the last several weeks and has given me great joy in Him and delight in many smaller things that He has given me here in Bangkok. I've truly felt like the writer of Psalm 34 - that I lack nothing because I am in Christ! Thank you so much for your many prayers on my behalf. The Lord hears you and answers your pleas as you intercede for me!

One of the things that has gotten me very excited this last week - and is another answer to numerous prayers of mine - is the MTW retreat this weekend. After it became apparent that the short-term team from Pinewood would not be able to come to lead the music and take care of the kids during the retreat, Jack asked me if I would still be able to join them on the trip and help plan the childcare for the weekend, taking care of the missionary's children along with the two other interns (Irene and Tori) and Katy (one of the Veldhorst's daughters). I was very excited and eager to serve and readily agreed to go, however, as time went on and the four of us girls never had a chance to get together to plan out the "kid's retreat", I started to get more and more stressed and concerned about it. I prayed all last week for God to bring plans together - and quickly! - and then ended up meeting with Katy for most of the day on last Saturday to brain-storm. God overwhelmingly answered my prayers! Within a few hours, we had a whole theme, 4 Bible stories, a memory verse, craft and game ideas and a whole host of other fun activities planned for the weekend and then were able to spend the next few hours (and some more time on Sunday) gathering materials and making parts of the crafts as well as some "treats" for the kids. I am now so excited about what we have planned and about spending that time with all of the team kids!! AND, Katy and I had the best time together in the meantime, which was also an answer to prayers of mine. She's such a great girl (she's in 8th grade and goes to ICS) - reminds me of a Jordan or Lindsay Campbell! - and I've been wanting to get to know her better and spend time with her, but wasn't sure how. God provided that this weekend.

I wanted to ask you to pray for this weekend. As excited as I am about our "plans", I am fully aware that many of them will probably change or need to be "tweeked" when we get to the hotel and see where we will actually be (and adjust to nap schedules and weather and children's moods/interests, etc., etc.). And even if they were to all go as planned, it's possible that the whole thing will have absolutely no spiritual impact on the kids or adults. So please pray:

~ That all involved will learn and grow in the Lord and enjoy the fellowship with each other.
~ That the children will feel comfortable with Katy, Irene, Tori and me and not mind being away from their parents for several hours at a time (many are quite young)
~ That the kids will have a fun time and be safe! For no accidents!
~ That the adult team members will be able to focus on their times of worship, training and planning. That they will be strengthened, encouraged, challenged, and refreshed and have wonderful times of fellowship with each other. That they will be further unified as a team.
~ For Irene, Tori, Katy and me to be filled with the Spirit and a deep love towards the kids. That God would give us strength, energy, gentleness, patience and enthusiasm with them!
~ For my health: I started to feel sick again on Wednesday (sort throat, congested, super tired). Pray that I don't get anyone else (especially the kids!) sick and will have the stamina to teach/watch the kids and serve the team. Also, pray that somehow I'll get enough rest this weekend so that I can go back to work on Tuesday (Monday's a holiday here) in full strength.

Just in case you were wondering, it won't all be "serving" and we'll have a large block of time to rest each day and enjoy our amazing hotel and beach!! You can check out the incredible resort where we'll be staying at the following website: www.merlinphuket.com/khaolak. I look forward to posting pictures of our time there next week!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

International Night

[I started this post last Saturday and am just now getting a chance to finish it!! My days and evenings have been so full...]

Tonight was ICS's annual "International Night." SO much fun! The evening consisted of a talent show type of program, with the students from all different nationalities performing traditional dances and songs from their home countries while decked out in traditional garb. Then afterwards there was a HUGE potluck (like a real-life Kids' Praise 6!!!) in the Secondary cafeteria which spilled outside to all the surrounding halls and recreational areas. Each country represented at our school had their own table (or tables) and parents brought all kinds of delicious international foods. It was all incredibly yummy! And parents went all out on the costumes! They had their kids (especially/mainly the ones performing) in such elaborate dresses and outfits. They all looked very beautiful!

The performances were really amazing too. There was a very neat Tawainese Drum/Martial Arts Dance thing that was quite loud but so cool! One high-schooler put together a slideshow of Bangladesh with incredibly beautiful photographs. The Thai dances were very neat too and it was just so neat to see so many of my students up there with "their own." My favorite of everything (dances, food and dress) was - not surprisingly - those from India. They are such a beautiful people. It makes me want to visit there all the more and I've since started to look up online and ask around about a spring break trip to India/Bangladesh.

I'm not sure which country was most patriotic - I was expecting it to be Thailand, but there was a huge Indian presence (in the food and performances) and the Candian teachers had a whole corner of the middle school recreation floor decorated with Candian flags and photographs from Canada. The U.S. fared rather poorly in the whole thing, I'm afraid. All we American teachers did for clothes (mostly) was wear something red, white and blue and our food tables didn't have a whole lot on them. Oh, and the one American act - an "American Football Half-Time Show" (which was actually very cute) - was performed by all Asians! Small scale though it was (the "trumpet players" held 2-dimensional cardboard trumpets; all the rest of the performers were cheerleaders), it made me miss home and wish that I could see football games and marching bands every Friday night like many of my band-director friends do!

One of the best parts of the night for me, though, was that several of the kids gave me hugs! They typically just don't do that here, but all the students were so excited about the evening and their costumes and performances that several of the younger ones rushed up to show me their clothes and give me a big hug! I have been missing kid hugs (any hugs) a lot since being here and I sometimes have to sit and imagine Lindsey and Melissa crawling up on my lap or Jenny and Laura snuggling up close to me to make me feel better! : )

It was a good night overall and very exciting to see one of ICS's main visions "Unity in Diversity" become a reality.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Big prayer request

So I thought last Friday was bad...today was worse. My wallet was stolen out of my purse while I was grocery shopping this afternoon. I don't know when it happened, but my wallet was there when I arrived at the store and wasn't when I went to check out with my almost-full cart of groceries. I had just bought a cheap little wallet/change-purse a few days ago and it was a somewhat conspicuous color, so I'm guessing that's how the person saw it in my purse. The store was very crowded and it's not surprising that the person had time to reach in my cart and purse while I was staring intently at the Thai writing on various products trying to figure out if they were what I was looking for or not. Also, I'm beginning to realize just how much I stand out from everyone else here. I think that someone must have taken one look at me and thought that because I was a "foreigner" I must be rich. If the person was looking for cash only, he/she was probably pretty disappointed. However, in addition to having some cash in my wallet, I also had an American credit card, Thai debit card and - to top it all off - a copy of my passport (including my picture and signature).

After searching my purse a few times and then all of the already bagged groceries, I realized I had to leave all my almost-purchases at the store, not having any money to pay for them anymore. (I felt bad that I could not even explain to the frustrated clerk that my wallet had been stolen!) To make the afternoon even more exciting (not that I needed more excitement) I had forgotten my cell phone this trip, leaving it in my apartment. (I did buy another one last Saturday, by the way, and have been slowly gathering the contact info that was in it before. Haven't completed that task though...) So, not only did I not have money to get back to my apartment, I had no way to call anyone for help either. Fortunately, the store I was in is only a few miles from my apartment, so I just started walking. And I spent the entire walk back praying. Surprisingly enough, though, it wasn't just panicky, "please help!" praying. As I walked, I found myself full of praise/thanksgiving, confessions and, of course, questions...

Praise:
~ I did not panic. I didn't even cry. God gave me peace this whole afternoon as I discovered what happened and later when I was making lots of phone calls to cancel credit cards, contact people, etc. Not only an absence of panic, but He gave me an assurance of His Sovereignty over this situation and of His presence with me and I found a great sense of security in that. I had thought that my cell phone primarily gave me that sense of "security" - that I felt safe knowing that many others were merely a call away. But more than even having others on call, I found peace today knowing that my heavenly Father was watching over my every step. All of those promises in the Psalms have seemed so real lately: God truly does have His wings spread over me and I rest in His shadow (Ps. 91:1-4); He watches over each one of my "comings" and "goings" (Ps. 121:7-8). As I walked home alone, along the narrow edge of a very busy highway, I felt like nothing or no one could touch me. I even came across a street dog who growled a me and looked for a minute as if he were going to bite or attack, but then he turned away and walked the other direction. The LORD is indeed my fortress.

~ All this happened in the daytime on a sunny day. I think that contributed to the lack of panic. If it had been at night, I think I would have been a lot more scared. If it had been raining, it would have been harder to walk home.

~ I was close to home. Thank the Lord I was not downtown with no money and no way to get back!

~ Nothing more than my wallet was stolen - and I'm pretty sure I was able to contact everyone/place to cancel things in time. It could have been worse.

Confessions:
~ I am way too careless as a person. I should have been more careful with my belongings, been more alert and should think more in general. I struggle with this often and often it gets me in trouble.

~ More importantly, in a spiritual sense I have been way too careless. I have been praying but not with the faithfulness and urgency that I need to while living and ministering here. I am in a battle and I've been playing around as if on a vacation. I let my mind daydream often (of many wonderful things that are not wrong, I don't think) when I should be disciplining it for war. I have not sought protection from my Father in the way that I should, nor realized my utter dependence on Him.

As I prayed, I held out to God my questions in all this. Why is all this happening to me? Not just today, but last Friday and a whole week of physical sickness (I had to take a day and 1/2 off of school this week) in between. It is so clear to me that God is Sovereign in this - not one of these things is beyond His control to prevent - in fact, the obviousness of His sustaining grace and care is evidence to me that He is causing these things for a reason. But what is the reason? Am I being disciplined for my carelessness and stupidity? Is this spiritual warfare? How does God feel about me right now? Is He displeased with the fact that I haven't sought Him more? Is He listening to my confused cries of need, concerned about meeting them?

I thought about my Dad. Actually, he was the first person that came to mind when I realized my wallet was gone. I thought about having to tell him what happened. I could just hear him say "Catherine!" with a frustrated "when are you ever going to learn to be more careful?!" tone of voice. But then I know if I saw him, I'd also see great concern in his eyes (especially now as he's so far away) and that the next minute he'd be doing everything in his power to make it right and to protect me.

I have a feeling the Lord is displeased with me - that He is not in approval of my sometimes way too happy-go-lucky, "it'll all work out in the end" approach to my own spiritual life and warfare. But I don't think it's the disapproval of Him as a Judge, but rather as a Father. A Father who loves me enough to discipline me for such sins in order to wake me up! And I think that if I were able to actually see God, I would see concern and great love in His eyes and would know that He cares about all my predicaments. And then I would be able to watch, as I already have seen in part, Him do everything in His power (which is any and everything possible!) to make it right. Thank you God my Savior that I am covered by the work of Your Son Jesus Christ so that I no longer stand under the condemning eyes of a Holy Judge but rather the compassionate eyes of a Dad!

Will you pray and praise for/with me also? Please pray for protection against identity theft. Pray that I will be able to get new cards without too much hassle or complications (and more groceries without further excitement!). Pray that God will continue to protect me, heal me and watch over my ways. And pray for protection against spiritual warfare in this dark land.

Monday, October 02, 2006

The Rainy Season

This last picture is actually our school's soccer field (you can see a bit of the goal in the corner). One morning when I got to school, I did a retake because it literally looked like they had put in a large, beautiful pond in the middle of campus! Needless to say, the PE faculty have had to do a little bit of rearranging of their class and game schedules these last few weeks. : )

God's Sufficient Grace