Praying "Big"
God is so amazing. He has answered a "big" prayer that I decided to start praying last week in a way that exceeded my expectations and hopes. Even though I didn't even ask you, my readers, to pray for it, I wanted you to share in the joy of the answer and in the wonder of our great God!
For the past 8 months or so, ever since the hiring process at ICS began for this 2007-2008 year, the school has been struggling to find teachers. God provided for many positions, but there were so many to be filled this year that we continued to be in need, even at the start of orientation on August 1st. A few of the positions had been filled originally, but setback after setback occurred as teachers who had originally committed to coming did not follow-through. All last spring we prayed - many fasted for these positions. This August, upon our return, we prayed even harder, bewildered at what God was doing. Didn't He hear own prayers? Surely He knows our need - why would He not provide qualified, kingdom-seeking Christians to come and teach in Bangkok? Our administrators have been stressed, to say the least, and working overtime, interviewing and trying to contact even more interviewees. School started and we began with subs in several of the Middle and High School positions, with other teachers' schedules rearranged to take on extra classes to make it work. We continued to pray - alone, in small groups, as a faculty.
Last week, after talking with one of the MS subs, I discovered that she would not be able to stay longer than two more weeks. The next day I found out that the other MS sub also had a two-week or so deadline. So I decided to start praying more specifically: that God would bring two new teachers for those positions to Bangkok within two weeks. Impossible-sounding, I know - especially in consideration of the fact that the process would involve not only actually finding, interviewing and hiring two teachers, but both of them being able to pick up and move overseas (most likely) in the space of two weeks. I almost didn't want to pray it, because I was afraid of being disappointed. But I kept thinking of Jeremiah 32:17:
"Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too difficult for You!"That was last Wednesday. On Thursday I prayed that prayer with some other teachers who sounded surprised that I would even ask such a big thing. First thing this morning (Monday) I got an email from our MS principal. She said that the school just hired a "teaching couple" - a husband and wife whose qualifications fit our exact MS needs! Not only that, but this couple had taught for many years in Thailand several years ago at a different school, then went to Korea and were just now finishing their teaching assignment there and visiting family in Canada. They will be able to be in Bangkok and at work
next week!! I could hardly believe what I was reading! Both needs, both prayers, answered in one moment - in a way that was clearly ordained by God long ago. He knew - as I had suspected ; ) - His plan to fill those positions for
years and waited until we were ready, when He would be most glorified, to let us know. I am
blown away!!
Indescribable
One joy of the last few days as we've started more of a typical music class routine has been teaching my students about God and singing His praises with them. This year I'm making an effort to collaborate a little bit more with the classroom teachers regarding the hymns/songs I choose to teach the kids. ICS uses John Piper's children's (Sunday school?!) curriculum, which is supposedly super good, and each year/grade they focus on different Biblical themes. 1st Grade is learning about the attributes of God, 2nd Grade is learning about His promises, 4th does the names of God, etc. For 1st and 2nd I'm trying to pick monthly songs or hymns that go along with what they are already learning. (I had already decided to do something a little different for 3rd and 4th, working through redemptive history - creation, fall, redemption, etc.) It helps with planning for me, but more than that hopefully it'll help the kids understand these things better.
The first thing that the 1st Graders are learning about God is that He is "incomprehensible." Kim, my 1st Grade teacher friend, said that the kids love saying that word as they count out all six syllables. She said that they feel (and rightly so) so smart to know such a big word! As I was praying through songs to choose for them, I was reminded of Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable", which speaks of God in a similar manner. I almost didn't want to teach it, though, because of the huge words it includes, but then I decided to take the risk. I figured that, if it was presented in the right way, maybe the students could grasp these 4-, 5-, and 6-syllable words (or
not grasp them, as the case may be!). So yesterday I began to explain how God is "uncontainable," "all powerful," "untamable," the One who placed the stars in the sky
millions of light years away - AMAZING! We've only begun to work on this song, but one class yesterday almost had their mouths open, saying "Whoa!" - and these precious young ones even attempted to sing all of those big words with me! It touched my heart.
Also encouraging: a rather "ADD" (don't know if he really is, but he tends to come across that way!) 3rd Grade student of mine interrupted me a few days ago, reminding me of the story I told last year of a bird I discovered flying around in the music room (it was a little startling at first, then very funny!). When he brought it up, I told the story again to this year's class so they could enjoy it, then Com said, "Yeah and you told us about how God made it..." I remembered using the bird as an illustration of the wonder of God's creation while teaching the
beautiful song "I Adore You, Jesus." I didn't figure this boy was even listening, much less would remember that months later. It was a good reminder that God is going to use what He wants of what comes out of my mouth when He wants to, even when I doubt it's possible.
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings.
All exclaiming...
Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, Untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...
Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.
Kanchanaburi
This past Monday, the Ministry of Education in Thailand declared a school holiday for the purpose of encouraging people to vote on the draft of the new constitution. Since we didn't have school, a few of my girl-friends and I seized the opportunity to get out of town, traveling to the little town/city of Kanchanaburi, which is a couple hours west of Bangkok (actually the same place where the English camp was held when the Pinewood team came in May - except at that time we stayed at a resort a little bit outside of the city). Two of my friends had discovered a cheap but really nice little guesthouse there last year and ended up staying there about 3 times over the course of the year. Set right on the "River Kwai", it was a beautiful, cool place to stay and rest. My friend Jaime described it as delightful; Kim's word was "money." : ) I agree with both. It was definitely a treat!
So what did we do? Almost nothing but rest! The guesthouse had a open restaurant (kind of like on a covered deck) that overlooked the river with low tables and Thai cushions to lounge on. We arrived on Saturday mid-day, ate lunch, then read books at the restaurant until we fell asleep. Upon waking we read more, talking at intervals while sipping on mango lassies or other fruit drinks. Later we went on a walk around town and ended the day with facials and massages.
[While reading over this before clicking the "publish post" button, the thought occured to me how insanely crazy it is that I'm able to enjoy all these things and even be here! 3 years ago I probably wouldn't in my wildest imagination have pictured teaching overseas like this. As Joanna said - somewhat bitterly : ) - "I'm really suffering for the Lord here in Thailand!" Not that everything here is this easy, but it
is a blessing.]
Sunday was also wonderful. We all rented bikes (for $1 a day!) and went riding around the countryside - right through the most beautiful green farmland and fields while gazing at the mountains surrounding them. It all reminded me of the bike rides I used to go on in Huntsville through Jones Valley, looking up at Monte Sano or Green Mountain - except everything had a tropical and Asian feel to it. Even the cows looked Asian! : ) It was
so wonderful to breathe in that fresh air and take in such beauty while riding!
Also a blessing was the rich fellowship I was able to share with my friends. God has provided community for me ever since my arrival in Thailand a year ago, but I feel like more recently I've been develop those friendships on a deeper level. Each of the girls I went on this trip with (Kristi, Jaime and Kim) are so beautiful and amazing! They all love Jesus so much, have a heart for the nations that really challenges me. And they are so open and honest - very
real - so much so that talking to them about just about
anything ends up leaving me with a greater appreciation for the gospel. Not to mention the fact that they are very funny, love to travel and share many other common interests we me. I feel so blessed and loved by God!
First days of school
We have now completed two days of school and I am very tired but very happy. It's been a push to get everything together for the start of school and I still have so much to do! It was also a jolt to get up at 5:15 again and work long days, but all in all it's good to be back and
so fun to see my students again! Again, I'm blown away by the difference between this year and the last - it's like night and day. At Open House I was completely at rest, knew exactly where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do (which is the
opposite of last year!) and was all smiles as I saw my students for the first time in months. Now I know their names! And I can greet them in the walkways and carry on conversations with them! And I'm not nearly so scared or nervous or insecure. Praise God!
The first few classes I've had have gone fine so far. Seeing the students is the most exciting part - the classes themselves have been mainly beginning of the year "business." One of the biggest delights of the past few days has been seeing my last year's beginning strings class. I love those students so much and they hold a special place in my heart, partially because they're just an incredibly sweet class but also I think because I started them on their instruments and they love playing so much. I feel like they're my little chicks that I hatched and I just want to put my wings around them and hold them close. Silly, I know, considering that they're 6th Graders now, but it brings me so much joy to have them come up to me and ask me questions about strings this year. "Miss Catherine, can we still play violin in 6th Grade?" "Miss Catherine..." It's really sweet. Today was the first day they brought their instruments and they had them out and were playing in little groups around the room long before I had finished all my "business" stuff. Oh, and one student in particular made my day when he said, "I've been practicing all summer! One hour every two days!" I think it's going to be another good year with that class. I'll have them for a longer amount of time each week and all but 4 are continuing to be in strings (last year instrumental music was required for them; this year it's an option).
God answered my prayers about my 7th Grade string class too. It is a rather long and involved story but the end result is that I will be able to teach them and I'll have a smaller but hopefully more dedicated group this year, which I'm looking forward to.
All that to say, God is continuing to answer my prayers and bless me in numerous ways each day. Hallelujah!
Nightmares
My Pinewood students will appreciate this...
Last Saturday night I had my first teacher nightmare of the year. Guess I was more stressed than I thought! I dreamed that on the first day of school I went to the Secondary band room to meet with all of the Middle Schoolers and try to work out my 6th and 7th Grade string classes and ended up spending the whole day there. Then right as the school day was ending, I realized that there were 4 younger Elementary classes that I was supposed to have been teaching all day and I panicked, thinking about those classroom teachers arriving with all of their new students at my door and me not being there and them having to keep them for the whole period! I woke up with the thought "we've only had one day of school and I've failed! I ruined the whole year!"
Come to find out today that my friend Jaime also had a nightmare last night. She dreamed that she slept an entire 24 hour day in addition to her normal night's sleep and woke up on Tuesday morning - the morning of Open House - having missed this whole day (today was a holiday with no teacher's meetings because of the Queen's Birthday) in which she intended to work all day and finish getting ready for school to start!
Well, the school year's definitely right around the corner! On our holiday today I put in at least 8 hours in my classroom and I still don't feel nearly ready. I had a super panic/stress hour this afternoon, which I think was due to a combination of having more to do than I realized and drinking an caramel iced cappuccino a few hours before (Thais put SO MUCH caffeine in their coffee - I had kind of decided last year not to get coffee off the street anymore because of it but then forgot how it affected me and tried it again today. Now I remember!) God was gracious though and helped me calm down later and be at peace enough to leave school at 8:15 this evening. Hopefully He'll also protect me from more bad dreams tonight! : )
Joy
As I sat just now pondering as to how to start this post, the words "my cup overflows" passed through my mind. Truly the Lord is my Shepherd and has not allowed me to be "in want" in the last 2 weeks since I last wrote. I have been filled with such joy and excitement on my return to Bangkok this time - so much so that I keep thinking about how strange it is that I would be so happy and I wonder if this is a fluke or something and if soon I'll be struggling again! But for many days now I've just been thrilled to return to this "second home" and be starting a new school year. It's been so fun to reconnect with my friends and church family - last week at church I was almost giddy to see everyone again! I'm enjoying my new apartment immensely (I'll post pictures as soon as I finished getting it all set up) - I like not being on campus and being surrounded by "green" so much more than I thought I would. And I've been amazed all over again at the hospitality and closeness of the community God has given me here. In 2 weeks I've hardly eaten a meal alone! God has poured out His love and provision for me through so many here.
It's been good - and actually not too stressful yet - getting back to school/work. I'm excited about some new items in my classroom (the biggest of which is a piano!!! It's so nice to have a "real" piano to myself now!) and also been excited about different ideas I have about things I want to teach my students this year. But the greatest part about this year so far is that
I'm not a first-year teacher (at ICS) anymore!!!. The difference is unbelievable! So many things that caused me tremendous stress and confusion last year are not even issues this year. It's SO GOOD to come back to a classroom, school, co-workers, students and city that I'm familiar with and know how to function in. Not that there's not plenty more to learn or grow in, but
everything's not new anymore. I coming to see all over again why people stay in jobs for more than one year.
Another blessing has been my times with the Lord. I've had a little more time in the mornings to spend in prayer and Bible-reading and God has been so good to meet me there at those times. While I haven't been as stressed or afraid (yet!) of this school year, I have been very sobered by my need for God's direction and help and wisdom as I plan out the next year. I feel like God has put me in a good place of dependence on Him. It seems like every need is being met in His presence. All glory be to my Shepherd!
Distance of Power
This afternoon I had a most fascinating conversation with one of my good friends and prayer partners at ICS - the kind of conversation during which I wished I had been taking notes! Kristi has been going to grad school over the last couple of summers through a program offered here sort of at/through the school and is now starting her thesis. Her thesis concerns cultural impacts on students' motivation (intrinsic/extrinsic) and our conversation started there but branched off to many cultural differences between Asian countries (Thailand specifically) and Western countries (America) that she discussed in various classes this summer and that we both have observed. I hesitate to even write about these things because I
didn't take notes (much less the class!), but I found one thing we talked about very interesting, especially after having a direct application of it a few hours later...
"Distance of Power" she said is one of the 4 marks/distinctions of a culture (?! I forget the term she used!)(all 4 of which Thailand and American cultures are on opposite extremes - no WONDER we experience culture shock in coming here!!) - meaning the way or extent to which cultures view distinctions between people in different positions of authority or socio-economic status. In the US (many would disagree with me here, I'm sure) everyone is
pretty much treated equally, no matter what their job, socio-economic status or race is. Not so in Thailand. And I feel it often.
This morning in one of our meetings, a teacher made the comment that we need to make sure we talk to and show appreciation for our Thai custodial staff. While our headmaster definitely agreed, he also pointed out that we need to be careful because sometimes it's actually more embarrassing for them than honoring because it's so out of the norm, unexpected and not
Thai. As Americans, of course, it's our way of showing love and treating them "equally" but it may not come across as "love" to them.
I feel this "distance of power" most keenly on the bus. Riding the bus appears to be something only Thais do here based on the fact that I'm usually the only farong riding every time I get on - that and the fact that if I'm alone at the bus stop, I usually end up standing there for 15+ minutes trying to wave down bus after bus and only taxis end up stopping, but as soon as another Thai comes and stands beside me, the busses stop for him/her! Well, this evening I took the bus back to my apartment after doing a little errand running and the whole time I was on, I was watching carefully for my stop (a bit harder to see in the dark). I moved towards the door a little early, so as to be ready, but did not ring the bell. The entire time I was on the bus, I could sense the bus driver and fare-taker-upper (I have no idea what that person's title is! : ) watching out for me, along with several surrounding, well-meaning passengers. I don't know if it's because they're particularly kind or if I just look particularly clueless (probably a combination of both), but they seemed to want to make sure I got to where I needed to go. So as soon as I made a move for the door, the bus driver pulled over at the next stop and actually came to a
complete stop (something they rarely to for fellow Thais). I felt embarrassed at the attention and sorry for the inconvenience I apparently caused by accidentally communicating that I wanted him to stop there. When I said "mai pen rai" and that I didn't want that stop, they asked where I
wasgoing and made sure I got there safely, again coming to a complete stop at my soi.
I came away from that whole incident feeling bad, unduly honored and humbled at the same time. I
feel like I'm on a different plane than most of the Thais around me and while at times the attention or special treatment is nice, I'm not sure that's what I want. And the American in me would go so far as to say that it's
wrong and unjust and not the way things should be. But wait a minute - I was taught in all my "pre-field" culture shock training sessions that differences in culture are not
wrong, but just that:
different. How does God want me to view this difference?
A week later (I'm writing this in two sessions), I find that God has given some insight in answer to that question. I've been reading through the Westminster Confession during my quiet time the last few weeks and I got to Chapter 7 last Sunday: God's Covenant with Man. It starts out...
"The distance between God and the creature is so great that, even though rational creatures are responsible to obey Him as their Creator, yet they could never experience any enjoyment of Him as their blessing and reward except by way of some voluntary condescension on His part, which He has been pleased to express by way of covenant."The distance between God and the creature...the distance of power. Wow. All of the sudden I saw it - what God is revealing to mankind through this facet of the Thai culture: the great distance between our Creator God and us. God's greatness and power and "unapproachableness" in contrast with my lowly, humble state makes so much sense here as I see the King of Thailand in all his grandeur and honor. Our God is not a "Mr. President" - a regular man like us who was chosen by the will of the people and will govern with many restrictions for a short term. Not that the King of Thailand has absolute power either, but he certainly was not chosen and before many of the younger generation were even alive, he was reigning. And unless God intervenes, one of his descendants will continue to reign after him. I know this is very basic and not at all exclusive to Thailand, but the "felt" honor and preference of certain people above others - even to the extent that certain ones don't feel worthy to be around or have a casual, friendship with certain others - gives me a picture of the distance between
my King and me and shows me how presumptuous I am to assume I can casually waltz into His presence, acting like I belong there. Apart from His initiation of a covenant with me through His Son, I could never know Him at all. What a preparation for worship last Sunday!
